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Too young to be lonely


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i need advice

i cant get through to my mother

she dosent be lieve im lonely

well

she thinks im lonely and just "neeed a friend"

its not that

i need a life parner

someone who understands me

but she says im too young

to feel that way

i fear ill be this was forever

lonely with noone

...

i cant talk to my therapist about it

and i hate talking to her about it

i feel as if im being pre judged

before i ever ask the question she has the answer

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i dont think people get

that not having anyone is my problem

thats what triggers my manic attacks and thats why im always sad

I think being young can be a very lonely time and there is a hell of a lot of pressure to couple up and find an SO. However I have found it to be true that your relationships improve in quality to older you are and the more you know yourself. So don't neglect getting to know yourself and like yourself in the rush to be known and liked by someone else. I'm 23, and I have found someone who I believe will be my life partner, but I still get lonely, sad and feel troubled my mental ill health. Being in a couple doesn't insulate you from life's problems, and it can bring it's own issues.

As for your therapist, I'd be honest with them about how you feel prejudged.

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i dont think people get

that not having anyone is my problem

thats what triggers my manic attacks and thats why im always sad

If that is the sole cause of your problems, then you probably have an unrealistic and disfunctional view of life. You may be be able to find someone who fills your every expectation, but then you may not. Counseling with a trained psychologist is probably a better immediate solution.

More likely, you immediate problem is that you are suffering from depression, a physical illness and one half of bipolar disorder. Mental illnesses have been repeatedly shown to respond best to simultatneous medication and talk therapy. Once you are in therapy you can delve into whether your expectations are realistic and whether they need adjusting. Kill three birds with one stone.

Having a partner is wonderful, when it happens. But a mature, well adjusted adult can live a happy life without being married. Depending on others to provide ones own happiness and validation is an immature outlook.

Things will get better. Take your meds, discuss things honestly with your pdoc, and arrange for talk therapy.

Best. a.m.

p.s. Don't worry. If you are too young to be lonely, you will get older and grow into it! ;)

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