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Feeling kind of blue today and I sure am in a lot of physical pain! I hate the pain part. My grandmother, who was 103 died yesterday. She was quite old and I think everyone is relieved somewhat that she is gone now. I wish I knew how to "shake" this today.

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feeling blue in response to the death of someone you were related to(no matter how old they were)is appropriate. maybe it would be better to work on accepting that you feel sad right now and that that is o.k. pushing away feelings to avoid feeling them just creates more baggage later. so why not let yourself feel bad now. sorry for your loss. keep posting when you need to share so you don't have to feel so alone with your grief.

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I'm sorry for your loss Lunna. I agree with snowfly that it's not healthy to push away painful feelings (even if it is our natural inclination), because they WILL come back to haunt you at some point. Grieving is a complicated process. Have you heard about the 5 stages of grief? (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Accceptance) I've had to do a lot of work with my therapist on this for various reasons. The main thing it gives me is a sense that although nobody can tell you how long you'll stay in one stage, and you may even move between two of the stages for a while, at least it provides a kind of "grid" to put over all your mixed up emotions and begin the process of making sense of them.

So try to be patient - I know it's hard. Set your thoughts down here if you don't feel able to express them to anyone IRL. Are you seeing a pdoc or tdoc?

Your grandmother must have lived a long and fascinating life to have made it to 103! My mind boggles at the kinds of changes she would have observed over an entire century. But the fact that she was that age and very probably ready to die (I'm seeing the same thing in my 92 year old gran) doesn't negate your being allowed to feel sad/disturbed/upset by her finally passing away.

be kind to yourself

Mia

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