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Moving for first time in 20 years and I'm a hoarder


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Ok so I'm at this big turning point in life where I move out of Mom and Dad's and live in my new house with my fiance. Our wedding is in 2.5 months. I had planned on staying at home until the wedding, but my fiance just got back from Iraq and I like to be with him as much as I can. I've moved over my essentials, bit by bit. I honestly don't have a TON of stuff. But my bedroom at home is pretty full. I did a deep cleaning of it about 7 years ago, so it isn't that bad.

The issue is that I hate giving away gifts that I've received. I feel guilty about it. This is especially if it is something that I never got around to using. I feel obligated to keep it somehow, even if I will never use it. I know it will be highly stressful to actually clean all of that stuff out. I am already homesick as it is. Despite being excited about the house and marriage, it is still a HUGE transition for me. I got these suggestions from another topic. I apologize for not remembering who posted it, so I can't give them credit:

"PURGE!

Here are a few personal rules that help me.

1. For every new thing that comes into the house, one other thing must go.

2. I have the same problem with gifts from others. I keep it out of duty for a year, then it goes.

3. Be brutal with closets and drawers. It feels really good to unload enough clothing that there's room to hang everything by color and type ;)

4. If there are heirloom items that you don't use but can't part with, box them up carefully, label, and store.

5. Clutter is evil and must be exorcised.

6. Linens and dishes and pots and pans; like the 12 step programs, take a fearless inventory and get rid of stuff. How many towels do you really need?"

Any other suggestions? Also any help with the transition of moving and marriage would be appreciated.

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With those gifts that you'll never use, and with extra clothes, why don't you give them to the Salvation Army or Goodwill? Lots of CB people shop at the thrift stores to save money, so you would be helping people on limited incomes while you're also paring down.

I usually advice people to make three piles

1) Stuff to keep

2) Stuff to sell or donate

3) Trash

Just be ruthless. Bring a box of trashbags to your room and have at it. Throw away sweaters with pills, outgrown clothing, tatty underwear, worn-out shoes, etc.

If you can't do any of this, why don't you enlist a friend? Bring in someone who isn't a hoarder---maybe someone whose organized apartment looks nice and neat. Ask her to give you a Saturday morning and work with her. I bet she will throw out stuff for you. And she can help you decide which unused gifts go to thrift stores.

olga

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Since I've moved about 20 times in my life, here's my tips for not carrying around an entire moving van full of stuff.

1. If you haven't looked at it in 6 months, get rid of it.

2. If you are moving to a place with different seasons (i.e. Boston to Orlando), get rid of the seasonal clothes you don't need. Trust me, you'll never wear that down jacket in Orlando, for example.

3. Same seasonal thing goes for tools, and other items. You probably don't need a snow shovel in Mississippi.

4. If it's "out of style", or you're saving it so you can wear it "when I lose weight, or gain weight, or whatever" get rid of it. Only take items that you ACTUALLY wear.

5. If you have electronics that are out of date (say, computer parts), get rid of them. If they aren't current, what in the world are you gonna use them in?

6. Re-gift gifts that you have put away. Call them "moving gifts".

7. If you're not a re-reader, sell the stacks of books or boxes of comics that are gathering dust. Books are heavy, and cost a fortune to move. If you have to pay by the pound, consider shipping them book rate via USPS.

8. If it's in a storage building, and you haven't been there in 7 years, trust me, you don't need to move it.

9. Call Amvets, Goodwill, or Salvation Army and have them come pick up the stuff, rather than waste time hauling it down there. Make sure you get a receipt for tax purposes.

10. Be ruthless, ruthless, ruthless.

I moved from Missoula, Montana to Anchorage, Alaska once, and had to pay Nationwide by the pound. Trust me, I was ruthless.

Good luck, and enjoy your new home!

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I'm in a similar boat. We've been wanting to move for a couple years now but can't because of our stuff. The most viable solution at this point is burning the place down and starting over.

Since I've moved about 20 times in my life, here's my tips for not carrying around an entire moving van full of stuff.

1. If you haven't looked at it in 6 months, get rid of it.

Get rid of the floor. Great idea!

2. If you are moving to a place with different seasons (i.e. Boston to Orlando), get rid of the seasonal clothes you don't need. Trust me, you'll never wear that down jacket in Orlando, for example.

We're going to stay in middle TN so sub-zero to 100+ is the normal range.

4. If it's "out of style", or you're saving it so you can wear it "when I lose weight, or gain weight, or whatever" get rid of it. Only take items that you ACTUALLY wear.

But I only actually wear the same three shirts and won't buy more because I only need to lose 10 pounds to look OK in the old ones.

5. If you have electronics that are out of date (say, computer parts), get rid of them. If they aren't current, what in the world are you gonna use them in?

Spare parts under the bed have saved my ass more than once.

6. Re-gift gifts that you have put away. Call them "moving gifts".

All the gifts I've gotten recently have been esoteric books and computer parts.

7. If you're not a re-reader, sell the stacks of books or boxes of comics that are gathering dust. Books are heavy, and cost a fortune to move. If you have to pay by the pound, consider shipping them book rate via USPS.

But I might want to reference them in a paper or in a blog post on the blog I've not even started yet!

8. If it's in a storage building, and you haven't been there in 7 years, trust me, you don't need to move it.

I've got a shed full of empty beer bottles in case I ever start homebrewing again.

9. Call Amvets, Goodwill, or Salvation Army and have them come pick up the stuff, rather than waste time hauling it down there. Make sure you get a receipt for tax purposes.

Those people are evil. Thrift store are where half this crap came from in the first place.

10. Be ruthless, ruthless, ruthless.

As I said, I'm thinking fire.

Sorry, this wasn't remotely helpful.

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I get really overwhelmed with that sort of thing. It helps me to set a timer for, say, half an hour, and purge away. (Olga's system is good.) Then take a break- I set a timer for that sometimes too, so I can get back on task.

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