I just flunked my midterm

[MaryPoppins]

My doc added Cymbalta to my 9 med cocktail on Friday and said by Sun or Mon. I should start feeling some relief. I call bullshit. I feel the same. Suicidal, dead inside, and empty. On top of that I had to study for an art midterm. So I emailed the instructor asking him exactly what to study. So a studying I go. I can hardly retain this information but I study for 10 days straight, morning, noon, and night. I get to the proctor, sit down with my pencil, open the test and it's like I'M LOOKING AT THE WRONG TEST! It was like nothing he had talked to me about. The concepts were totally different, the questions were whack, and so I guessed on the entire thing. I'm not a guesser. I'm an honor student. I don't guess. But I did this time. Making shapes in the little holes...bunny ears....snakes, the whole nine, yeah I guessed the hell out of the test, flunked the sucker, and then promptly emailed him as to how to do some Extra Credit so that I can pass his class. I hope he'll allow some EC. I'm already suicidal and this just didn't help. So I have a call into my doc and my instructor. Let's see who responds first. Any guesses? Ugh. This f*()&*( sucks. I need to just let this go. I want to drink, but drinking is what got me to this point in the first place, so that's a no go. I don't know what I need right now. I honestly have no clue.

[Artemisia]

Is there a chance everyone did very poorly on this exam?

[MaryPoppins]

Honestly, I hope so....there's no way to find out unless he divulges that information to us online, as this is an online class and there isn't a central board for the students to talk, which is totally bogus. I would imagine that I'm not the only one who had trouble with this one. That's a good point.

[chinacat]

I had a professor in Abnormal Psych. give the entire class--full of Psych majors, who counted on that grade--a final exam which had absoluteley nothing to do with anything we studied. When asked--we all flunked--he laughed and said he "wanted to see what we would do" faced with that situation. Ha Ha. And he counted the grades, so all us A/B Psych majors got C/D's. We complained, nothing happened.

It happens, you tried, I tried once when I had just bailed from going to class all quarter, to just read the book and take thje final. Nope-- That was MY fault, and I took it. But to give an exam "just to see what happens"?? Thats bullshit.

If you are officially "diagnosed" with something, don't they have to give you special time,. etc? And being officially on meds, that should count for something

I 'd raise hell with everyone I could find. I think you have a case like my abnormal psych "professor" who was an idiiot.

Let us know what happens--

china

[MaryPoppins]

The school could or does, or has in some cases give special treatment to crazy people who are on crazy meds? No shit? (I kid about the crazy people, take no offense, I'm one, too).

[reddog]

yes. it's called 'accomodations'. contact your disability office at your college, ombudsman, or whoever is generally the go-to person for questions, and ask them about it.

[MaryPoppins]

Thank you so much! I had no idea. I wonder how they would help? I'll call tomorrow.

[grousemouse]

hi marypop,

sorry to hear that you blew an exam.

i seem to have the attention span of a pea right now so i didn't read all the posts, but i wanted to make one point just in case it affects you.

through group and tdoc chat sessions i found out that my self-worth is hugely wrapped up in my accomplishments. the downside to this is that when i do poorly on an exam or whatever it totally nukes my self-esteem and starts a downward spiral into a depression. the depth of the depression depends on where i'm at in my mood cycles. if i am in a downswing, the triggered depression can leave me plowing face-first through whale shit at the bottom of the sea with my mouth open.

so if that is an issue with you try to be really aware of it at a time like this and try to separate yourself from it.

oh, and tears will often freak out a teacher (specifically a university prof) and just might help.

good luck,

grouse.

[MaryPoppins]

Grousemouse,

Thank you for your kind response. Unfortunately, I had just came into this horrible depression and had just been given Cymbalta when I had to take this freaking final. My retention was nil, and it was horrible. There was no way I was going to pass that test. It just wasn't in the cards that day, I had too much against me, and the prof was a total dick and told me to study NOTHING that was on that test. What a tool. I haven't received my actual grade yet, but I'll let you know how I fared. It won't be pretty. I'm seriously considering calling the school about the special services aspect of this bipolar shit. I had no idea that it was a possibility. Has anyone here done that with success? Just curious. Thanks all.

-Me

[withing]

I have spoken to a couple of my profs about being on meds, and the side effects. I have yet to go to special services because I haven't needed to (key word being "yet").

Our school policy though is to inform the profs at the beginning of the term so they can accomadate before problems happen and not scramble to "clean up" afterwards (my phrasing). Even knowing this, my pride won't let me go to special services and have it put on my public record that I have bi-polar and may need accomadation... Though I see a school therapist, and get my psych meds from the school pharmacy, and talk to individual profs, I just can't haul my ass down there and make it official...

*sigh*

Pardon any typos... I seem to have a defective keyboard in the lab.

[MaryPoppins]

I know how you feel, I went down to special services after I was hospitalized, but had to through so many hoops I just thought, screw it, I have a "disability" if you will, that no can see. I also didn't think it was possible to accomplish anything through it. I had never thought to tell my teachers directly, I wonder what that would do for me. How have your profs reacted?

[withing]

I know how you feel, I went down to special services after I was hospitalized, but had to through so many hoops I just thought, screw it, I have a "disability" if you will, that no can see. I also didn't think it was possible to accomplish anything through it. I had never thought to tell my teachers directly, I wonder what that would do for me. How have your profs reacted?

I'm *very* selective about whom I tell that I have bi-polar directly, mostly because this is a very small town and a very small campus. I just feel too exposed here. If push comes to shove I'll tell them I have bi-polar. The few I've told were surprisingly accepting. However, I generally start out with - I'm "on medication" that "may effect my study skills".

I told my chem instructor that I had a learning disability that made it difficult for me to retain math, and I might have problems with problem solving, and he was pretty understanding. And, when the NSAIDs for my arthritis threw me for a loop (a rare side effect), I went to all of my instructors and pointed out the side effect to them, since I'm *usually* an okay student - and I failed tests in two separate classes during the time I was taking those meds - they understood. I wasn't allowed to re-take the tests because, lucky me, they were going to drop the lowest test score anyway. However they didn't mark off for not participating in class.

Okay, I'm rambling.

[MaryPoppins]

I find that really interesting. I wonder how that would work if I told my teachers that I'm on medication that made memory retention extremely difficult. I wonder how that would pan out. Damnit, I should have pulled that card out at the beginning of the flipping quarter. I still may end up telling him. But maybe now it may sound like a cop out.

[isis]

i dont know how it works for you - but i went to the health services offered at my university - spoke to a disability advisor and she worked out what i needed help with (mainly extensions for assignment, bit of extra time in exam). and, she gave me a sheet of paper which says i am entitled to these things, but it doesnt say what is wrong. so i give that bit of paper to each of my lecturers each semester and they have to give me those accommodations. But they don't have to know what is wrong - i mean, you can accommodations for anything from bad headaches to family issues to major disability.

so - this saves me from having to explain to 5 people every semester - 'yeh so i have bipolar and it affects the way i do my stuff - my meds make me slower and i need more times for things'.

i dont know if your college does the same thing but it might be worth asking about

edit: and it appears more effective if someone else is involved - like if a counsellor/advisor contacts the lecturer rather than just you. or maybe i'm just a bit paranoid but thats how i did it.

[MaryPoppins]

berry,

good call, I'll call them and ask to speak with someone before I drive all the way to the campus, as it is a bit of a drive. I emailed my doc about my memory retention and he blythely responded ( I love him anyhow) that with major depression memory retention can be very difficult and this summer may be very difficult in passing my class. God love him. Jerk. I kid. I DO love my doc, just not what he said to be the truth. What a horrible summer for school. I am on the honor roll and now look at this. Just a big fucking mental mess. Because of me and my head. I hate my head. Hate it.

[grousemouse]

marypop,

now, now. your head isn't all that bad. at the very least it keeps your ears from smacking together.

your brain though, there's the problem. i threatened mine with a spoon once.

well, several times actually.

as for school, i wish i'd even KNOWN i was nuts then. i would have been all over the disabilities office like a gecko on nitrous. i'm taking nightschool classes now and juuuuuust squeaked through my last exam - i needed 70% and i got 70.0%. plus i hardly learned a thing.

hang in there. and remember, when it comes to brains, spoons don't work.

grouse.

[isis]

my brain has slowed down since i upped lamictal, and i felt really out of it and... slow for a while. ive decided that i'm getting used to it - and all the excellent skills im picking up to keep me organised will be helpful for later!

write lots of notes, read them a few times and study more than usual. i dont think being depressed makes people stupid or less capable. just have to work harder - like running in water instead of on land. still possible!

(i'm trying to be really positive about this because my second semester of uni starts on monday and my course load is 125% - thats what happens when you are manic when enrolling at uni!)

[Eideticstudent@yahoo.com]

Do the opposite that I'm trying not to do everyday because I forget what I think of when thinking too hard too far ahead: Retake the class at a community college or university. You should know that this is meant to be a last step as in emergency action where you show your work from both classes and try to receive a better grade in which you would go to a counselor who will be more than willing to help you and if that doesn't work go any staff in the school who might be able to tell you who to see for changing your grade.

[MaryPoppins]

So I should essentially finish out this summer quarter, flunking out if indeed that's how it rolls, and then RE-TAKE the class and show a counselor who may give me the mean of the two grades if both are sub-par? Did I get that right?

[Eideticstudent@yahoo.com]

If you have a 3.0 and above don't do it k? Also, if your going to get a 3.5 and above in the end don't do it. You just need your degree and no employer is going to look at your gpa.