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New Here--Longtime Nut

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What a great site! I've been cruising around the topics and really like the discussions going on.

Anyhoo, a bit of info about myself. Depression first gave me a big hug when I was 11 and anxiety has been my constant companion for as long as I can remember. I am a wreck in social situations. I've got a family tree full of of nuts (Maternal gpa-BPI, Paternal gpa-psychotic episodes, Paternal gma-eternally angry ;) , Uncle-BPI, Mom-BPII, Father-Narcisstic Personality Disorder, Brother-BPII).

I got pregnant with my son in 2001 and whatever hold I had left on sanity went out the window. After giving birth, I had 5 blessed days of sheer joy. Then my hormones plunged and I started hallucinating, hearing things, having hourly panic attacks and, generally, freaking out. I was rediagnosed with ultra-rapid cycling BPII and started the mood stablizer merry-go-round. I am dx as ultra-rapid cycling b/c my hypomanias and depressions occur every month in conjunction with my menstrual cycle (4-5 days of dysphoric mania followed by 4-5 days of anxiety and depression). I have yet to find a drug combo to stablize me completely.

I'm currently doing a cross taper from xanax to klonopin in the hopes that my anxiety can be controlled better. So far, so good.

My current obsessions:

I'm a bad mother

I'm weak

I don't like my drug combo

I look forward to reading more posts!

Peaceful thoughts,


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Hey, you brought something up that I've always wondered about.....how often do people with mood/anxiety/etc get hormonal work ups to see if there is a correlation between mood/anxiety/etc problems and hormonal imbalances. I know it's not everyone...but I'm just curious if anyones ever really studied it. Probably...

ANYWAY!!! Welcome!

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Thank you for the warm greetings ;)

Sage: I know a few other gals that have the same "hormones+mood disorder=disaster" problem. From the reading I've done, it seems that some of us are more sensitive to hormonal changes. Right now my pdoc and I are experimenting with raising and lowering various med doses during my cycle to see if it makes a difference.

Mary: I'm sorry to hear that you also came by BPII through birth of a child. It is truly bittersweet.

Looking forward to seeing everyone on the boards,


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