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Best friend/Flat mate


BIMBO

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I love my flat mate because he is also my best friend and he can be hard work because he is a moody drama queen but none of that matters.

He has depression, not chronic, but bad enough that it does affect his life. I would say atypical, he's eating and sleeping alot and is the heaviest he's ever been at 100 kiloes. I worry about him because he gave up a job he had for 10 years and has had trouble finding another. He's now got a temp job but has only been there 2 weeks, had 1st day off, 2nd week had 3 days off. No work.. no money. Is this all going to catch up to him and then he'll crash into a full blown depressive episode? I'm worried this may be the case & there's not much I can do about it. He sees a psychologist, he's taken a very small dosage of Lexapro. All I can do is be his friend and hope the worst doesn't happen.

In the meantime I'm having problems myself with trying to reduce Effexor (all the fun that goes along with that) and rapid cycling, Suicidal ideation, just pretty much feeling like I wish I was dead but trying to drag myself back to feeling human again.

I get paid fortnightly, when I last went to give him rent he said I was infront and didn't have to. This morning he's asking me about it. I now don't have that money. I'm confused & hope this can be cleared up or I'm screwed!!!!! ;) I was hypomanic last week and whatever cash I had was blown!

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I'm sorry this isn't immediately helpful, but my best suggestion for the future is that he actually give you a written receipt when you've handed him rent money. Get a little notebook with carbon paper and make sure you each sign, so that if something like this happens again you'll be able to produce proof that you paid and that he's having a memory lapse in demanding money that's already been paid.

In the meantime... do you always pay him in cash? Is there any way at all - any kind of electronic record of a withdrawl from your bank account, for example - that you could show him?

It's common wisdom that business and friendship don't always mix well, and that's essentially the situation that you're in now. If he is your best friend, as you say, and you can't produce proof of payment, you might have to try to work out some kind of agreement whereby you cover the debt in installments on top of your regular rent payments over the next while. I know it sucks, but that may be the only way to handle the situation if you don't want it to turn into a major falling out between the two of you.

As far as his own illness goes - you're right, all you can do is be his friend, but primarily work on taking care of yourself.

good luck

Mia

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Thanks Mia. Yeah I think I'll have to stop paying cash and start paying electronically, that way I can keep track of receipts without insulting him by asking for anything in writing.

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