space_is_arched Posted July 26, 2005 Share Posted July 26, 2005 mean, bitter, indifferent, apathetic, aimless, tired, powerless, cynical, and more afraid than ever... I used to cover random pieces of paper on my desk with the words "I hate myself." I threw away those papers, but now I really have reason to hate myself. I'm in a deep hole and I refuse to do anything to help myself. I only want to make myself more miserable. I want more pain. Good things annoy me. When I catch myself in a moment of optimism, I do everything I can to get out. I don't want help. I want to be asleep. I don't need advice or sympathy. I know what I need to do, I ahve all possible resources for help. But I will not. I enjoy this perverse pleasure of pointless and stupid self-destruction. And not even destruction, I'm too afraid of that. There is nothing wrong with me. I just like being miserable, because it's comfortable and saves me the trouble of actually living my life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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