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What about the crazy shit you've done while depressed?

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I lived almost exclusively on Ensure for years. That's so weird. I couldn't cook. I couldn't really eat sometimes, so that was what I did.

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Listening to stupidly depressing songs when I know they're not good for me. Johnny Cash's Hurt anyone?

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Buying those plastic food tubs - the kind takeaways come in - to vomit into. Because going to the bathroom is clearly way too much effort, and puking in a bin or a bowl you eventually have to clean it out. Those you can just seal the lid on and cast them into the pile of rubbish that you're going to tidy up soon, honest.

When living in a shared student house, being so afraid of my housemates seeing me looking so messed up walking to the bathroom that I used to pee in a pint glass and empty it out of the window into the guttering.

Keeping my curtains closed for months, just in case my landlord sees into the flat and evicts me.

Going supermarket shopping at 3am for the means to kill myself, and ending up buying potted flowers, drinking glasses and a book as well because I'd convinced myself that the shop assistant would see that I was just buying pills, bootlaces and a Stanley knife, and somehow have me sectioned.

Gave myself a fair-sized 4th degree chemical burn and tried for a week to treat it myself so I wouldn't have to show a health professional.

And the standard depression stuff - I don't know how long I've been wearing these pyjamas but I do know they smell; the last time I ate a balanced meal (or tried to) was when I was in hospital; and the STR worker helping me to straighten out my flat has taken over 40 bags of rubbish away, that was just scattered all over the floor. I'd even given up trying to maintain the clear path from my bed to the bathroom, I was just walking on a layer of trash and dirty laundry.

Listening to stupidly depressing songs when I know they're not good for me. Johnny Cash's Hurt anyone?

There's a version of Kermit the Frog singing that on Youtube, which my friend sent me a link to about a week after I tried to kill myself the first time around. I thought he was laughing at me - I locked myself in my room, cried for days and self-harmed a lot. Turns out he was trying to express empathy.

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I bought disposable EVERYTHING to make life easier. To hell with the environment!

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I admit, paper plates are major failing of mine. And I am someone who makes being green something of a fetish: Driving a Prius, most of my clothes are purchased used, no clothes dryer, rags instead of paper towel (although sometimes I cheat), no air-conditioning (which I realize isn't always possible in the south), showers every other day, etc.

But PLEASE don't make me wash dishes, I can use these paper plates instead! :)

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Oh the garbage. Let me first say when I am depressed like many other people things "get out of control" easily. When my first roommate was living here I became ashamed of the amount of garbage I would throw away so I would hide it in my closet and under my bed.

Then it ended up on the porch and we were inundated with over 100 pounds of garbage...

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I slammed my laptop shut and caused it to crash and delete everything.

I left all my doors and windows unlocked, in hopes of a burgerly gone wrong.

Buy new clothes and dishes instead of washing them.

Watching intervention while drinking bottles of wine and writing analysis's over the works of Edger Allan Poe.

That last one is just classic lol I had to buy a new book bc every time I sat down to read some of his works I would get embarassed over what i wrote in the margins!

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I am so sorry. You guys have really been through it.

I used to dress like a bohemian romantic half my age. I dyed my hair two shades of red by mistake. I wrote bad confessional poetry and made people read it.

Like many, I quit paying bills (of course) and taxes (bad call) and giving stuff to clients (small claims court) before I stopped working altogether. I was either too good for the mail or very afraid of it.

Eventually, I was lucky enough to be able to hire a cleaning company. They helped me haul a dumpster and a half of stuff out of the house. I was really ashamed. They said not to worry, they have to wear hazmat suits to some of their jobs.

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Starved myself for 15 days....just water. Then I broke it one night, went straight to the grocer's and got: Chips, cookies, tarts, spinach dip, two sandwiches, crackers, a liter of coke, etc and pretty much blacked out after that.

Got wasted and tripped out many nights- driving in a car with four other wasted, high college students over a bridge felt like I was on the Enterprise entering hyperspace...oops.

Found love in all the wrong places...serious issues there.

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I have definitely done the 'buy new clothes/underpants because all of mine are dirty' thing. And the only reason I am admitting it is because I am apparently not the only one. I love you guys, seriously.

I can't sleep when depressed and have been known to stay up for a few days, like I just give up on trying and decide to stay up.

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I called 911 and tried to convince the cops to shoot me.

I locked my keys in my car at school and instead of going inside and calling someone, I decided to walk home. I ended up walking for 8 hours until some truck driver offered me a ride. I was such a lonely person then and I liked talking to him so much that I ended up staying with him and his daughter for almost a week. No one knew where I was but I loved it there. It was an awesome experience staying with a complete stranger. I was extremely sad the day I left though, but I knew I had to come home at some point.

One night I decided to wash my dishes but I got so frustrated I stormed out of my house and walked around town for hours in the middle of the night.

I decided to start trying legal highs. I bought this legal weed off the internet called Code Black and took three hits off of it. I had such a bad panic attack that I ended up calling 911. It made my sense of reality really distorted. Like I saw an image of my face in my head but I was green with pink dots all over my face. I also tried Robo-tripping which was really fun. I remember staying in TinyChat the whole time and making forum posts proffessing my love to people. :lol:

I drove to this fishing spot at dark when it was closed and started yelling at the river about life and death.

Depression has also caused me to spend great amounts of time alone. At one point I was sleeping in the daytime just so I could avoid the rest of the world.

Other than that, depression is pretty boring. I just let my house get really messy and lie in bed and think about suicide. There's so much more I could tell though ha ha

Edited by Crytek

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  • Ignoring bills

  • Leaving dirty clothes w here I drop them

  • Eating chocolate marshmallow cookies for breakfast, washed down with a tasty blend of coffee, Vanilla Coke and chocolate milk

  • Watching Andy Griffith reruns till noon when I should be trying to find a job

  • Self-medicating by stealing flowers from other people's lawns. I am very careful and I don't pick a flower if it will detract from the overall beauty of the bush, shrub or plant. But if there are so many flowers that one or two won't be missed, I may help myself. I know this is bad, but flowers are among the few things that make me feel good, and I just can't help it. :wacko:

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Humm Listening to really depressing music. Like music to slit your wrists to as a friend called it. Not opening my mail. Buying stupid stuff I don't need *I thought that was under better control but last night I slipped. Fortunately its $45 not $450. Uhhh, sleeping until the afternoon on a day off. Blowing off tasks that I can do until the last 15 minutes. Not having sex *I know - weird... Not eating much. Trying to be alone too much.

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I have stayed in bed almost the whole day. I have gone without bathing for a week. I once threw most of my dirty clothes away because they were so gross. Fun times.

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I told my four year old I was going away and he would never see me again oh the guilt is like a kick in the soul

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I cut most of my hair off, and didn't realize it for a while. When I finally climbed out of that pit of depression, and took a good look at myself, I was surprised that my hair was gone. I remembered trimming my hair. I didn't remember trimming away almost all of my hair.

Edited by YetAgain

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I would get incredibly drunk at school two years ago (in uni now) while battling depression; thank god i was friends with the school nurse who covered for me!

i also started hooking up with this one guy i regret. he would park his car a few minutes from my house or wherever i was...

I also used to SH alot back then, and i still have my scars on my thighs; sadly will always show :(

hmmm what else...

i used to shoplift with friends for the thrill of it (yes i regret it)

i started popping pills to get high with mates; and balancing on the balcony ledge to prove i had the power to control my own life..

Apparently i was fun before. Since i stopped all that and started focusing on my uni and doing any jobs i can people have deemed me too mature and boring..

I also went through a phase where i dyed my hair black, orange, pink, Bright red, Purple and blonde :P

Edited by Icryrainbows

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When I was depressed in 2008, I became obsessed with global warming, and thinking about it made me so upset that whenever my general chemistry professor mentioned it (which happened a lot) I had to cover my ears and hum right in the middle of class. The people sitting around me thought I was a complete nutball. That was before I gave up on leaving my dorm room entirely. Actually global warming still gets to me.

I also felt quite strongly that I was going to give myself cancer by thinking about it too much.

I have also been known to eat butter right out of the container.

For a while when I was projecting like mad onto inanimate objects, I couldn't go shopping because if I touched something and didn't buy it, I would start crying because I felt that the object would feel lonely and abandoned.

I used to walk back and forth outside food stores for up to half an hour because I either couldn't decide what I wanted or couldn't get up the nerve to go in. I would order or buy things I didn't really want because I was afraid of looking at the menu for too long. It took me about 3 years to get to the point where I could walk into a restaurant and order take out.

Edited by tryp

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I was suicidal, I overdosed on klonopin while at my intensive outpatient program. I thought it'd be better if my dead body was already at the hospital instead of family or SO finding me dead at home first. Needless to say, I went inpatient shortly after. So stupid.

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despair sex is a big one for me.

three suicide attempts, one successful (I was revived with paddles and stuff) I died for a few minutes, tehnically.

never clean anything, myself or anything else. dog poops and pees on newspaper, goes out once a day if I can manage it. I feed the dog when I get up to use the bathroom. so that keeps him ok...

I'll read a little then nap, nap, then read. I tend to sleep a lot, but can't fall asleep easily ever so I end up on vampire schedule.

no toothbrush, soap, or laundry done. no food in the house.

it gets bad. books and papers and scraps and food containers all around the bed. moldy fridge.

isolation.

I could go on but it's more of the same

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