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I feel my recovery from schizoaffective disorder is never-ending, and there's always something to work on and practice.  Right now I have a problem with not talking to my parents and people at work.  I might say hello, but I rarely initiate a conversation, because I'm lazy.  I'm the shy, quiet guy in the corner.  I don't want to be quiet!  I want to be the life of the party!  I want to be a better conversationalist and be more outgoing.  The problem is I have nothing to talk about.  I used to like to talk about getting drunk and high, but since I don't do that stuff anymore, I'm out of conversation topics.  I'm really, really boring.  Do they have social skills groups or something where I can practice this kind of stuff?  A pdoc said I needed to be in one of these groups because I didn't talk to anyone the whole time I was in the hospital.

Anyone else quiet and reserved? 

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ya I can sooo relate!  no help here, just sympathy Ben. I look forward to seeing my step sister because she *never* stops talking. I can just relax and listen to her stories the whole family visit and then it's time to leave! glee!

Id like to be more interesting too maybe someone will come along and help us out.

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I feel my recovery from schizoaffective disorder is never-ending, and there's always something to work on and practice.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I think I'm more affective than schizo, because I have no problems being social.  Now, if I could just get rid of these pesky hallucinations...  ;)

I don't know if there's classes.  Have you tried calling your local outpatient clinic?  They frequently know about interesting classes for people with MI...

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Now I'm no social expert but people like talking about themselves.  Ask them questions about themselves and then try to relate.  My problem is I just feel weird and akward.  I need a little confidence.  I need to quit feeling like a weirdo.

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I've been dx with schizoaffective disorder, even though my pdoc doesn't believe the dx...I have real problems sometimes with talking at all, things come out in fits and starts, I change topics in the middle a sentence, I start topics in the middle. I constantly forget really common words  or say things that seem rational to me but are complete nonsequiters to everyone else. I'm shy and nervous/wary of people when I want them to like me and I completly panic trying to make small talk, big talk or just general chatter with my mate. I feel like gunky fridge mold and hate not being able to communicate.

I understand

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What I do is write down what I want to do at a given place/party/event (such as meet three new people, get laid, tell a story, etc.) and then set out to do it. You have to let go of all your anxiety and fears and just go for it. Another good thing to do is to tell stories, if you really are schizo im sure you have plenty of really interesting stories to tell.

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What I do is write down what I want to do at a given place/party/event (such as meet three new people, get laid, tell a story, etc.) and then set out to do it. You have to let go of all your anxiety and fears and just go for it. Another good thing to do is to tell stories, if you really are schizo im sure you have plenty of really interesting stories to tell.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

That's a good idea, Cream Soda.  Getting laid would be nice, but I'm kinda scared of the women-folk, lol.  What do you mean by "if you really are schizo"? I'm not faking it, I promise you that.

I just talked to a friend that I haven't talked to in a while, and I realized how much I have been isolating myself. Ever since going crazy I have been distancing myself from friends and family, and I don't know why.  I just want things to return to normal.  That's going to require work on my part.  I don't know why things are still weird for me...I'm pretty much back to normal.  It's just that I still spend all my time thinking about mental illness.  I'm obsessive.  I don't know what I'm doing.

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Hi, Ben,

I don't know whether this will be helpful or not, but here goes...

I used to have a horrible time in social situations. Couldn't think of anything to say, couldn't keep up my end of a conversation, my brain would freeze up and the totality of my thoughts was canIleavenowcanIleavenowcanIleavenow...

Finally, I attacked it as a skill. I paid attention to people who were socially adept and copied what they did. Generally, they're good at making other people feel good about themselves. They smile. They get people to laugh. They encourage people to talk about themselves, share stories, find common ground. They listen.

Some people are gifted socially. I will never be one of them, but I have learned enough to not have to hide out in the bathroom.

It's just that I still spend all my time thinking about mental illness.  I'm obsessive.  I don't know what I'm doing.

That's ok. People get obsessed with stuff all the time. Hobbies. Politics. Illness. Music. Gardening. Computers. Internet. Games. It's what we do. It's how we learn. Nevertheless, it's really hard to stop thinking about something. At some point other subjects will become interesting and you'll be able to move on to a new obsession. Yay! Personally, I like obsessive people. They tend to be smart and know some pretty interesting stuff.

Greeny

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Ben,

You are exactly where you should be. You had your life turned upside down, and not very long ago. AND you quit drinking and drugging. And now, your meds are working and you're starting to feel good again. But everything is different. You're getting used to the whole idea of mental illness and facing the prospect of having to take these crazymeds for the duration. And furthermore, you can't go back to your old carousing buddies because that would be too tempting and just plain stuuupid. So not only do you have to question everything you thought you knew about yourself, but you have to find a whole new social niche, too.

Anyone would be confused. With good reason. Give yourself a break. The fact that you even care about a social life is an indicator of progress.

This thread is a good one. You're not alone in trying to find a balance between knowing all you can about your illness and trying to have a life, too.

Greeny

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Finally, I attacked it as a skill. I paid attention to people who were socially adept and copied what they did. Generally, they're good at making other people feel good about themselves. They smile. They get people to laugh. They encourage people to talk about themselves, share stories, find common ground. They listen.

Some people are gifted socially. I will never be one of them, but I have learned enough to not have to hide out in the bathroom.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good advice Greeeny. On working on new skills in order to become functional again, or working switching from old behaviors to new, my pdoc uses the motto: Fake it 'til you make it.

And Kevin is so right, people love to talk about themselves. I have always had a hard time being in social situations. My first husband told me instead of trying to lead a conversation get other people talking about themselves. People will talk about themselves for as long as you let them. As you begin to feel more comfortable around that person then it is much easier to share your own thoughts.

Also be careful! Wanting to feel euphoria just one more time for many of us may be difficult to resist but you really do need to share this with your pdoc on Friday.

Erika

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