Newbie Questions

[Cream Soda]

Hello, I've visisted these forums for a few months now and I decided to register so I could ask some questions and maybe helps some others with their problems.

I'll start off just giving some background information. You can scroll down to the bottom if you just want to read the questions. Im 17 and was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder five months ago, but it had been suspected longer due to a long family history of it(my father, 1 aunt, 2 uncles, and grandmother). Anyways I think i have Biploar Disorder w/ Psychotic features (I think thats right). My case seems pretty textbook. I get manic or depressed when I'm not on medication, but I rarely get hypomanic and usually I hear things and have paraniod delusions when I am manic. I'm not especially creative either(I guess I get all of the bad shit with none of the perks). I was depressed once and I tried to shoot myself. Fortunately I dont clean my guns and the firing pin on the gun didnt work. Another time I was manic and I wanted to see the ocean so God told me to steal a $100,000 car and drive 1600 miles away to California but first i had to cut a 4 square cm chunk of skin out of my arm with a kitchen knife because the government put a GPS in my arm to track me.  I was missing for 5 days and slept a total of 4 hours. I was found only when a sting operation was set up to catch me. I guess the government doesnt need a GPS tracker to find me. Shortly after that incident I was put on 2000 mg of depakote, and I've been taking it fairly regularly except for that one week when I conviced myself that i didnt need it and it was poisoning me. Other than that I'm pretty normal and live a fairly uneventful life.

To get back on subject my questions are as follows:

How can you tell the difference between Bipolar and Schizoaffective disorder?

I know the criteria for Schizoaffective disorder say you have to have delusions and such without mania but its hard to keep track of how much energy you have and how much you've slept when you have baracaded yourself in your room with a shotgun so you can keep out the aliens.

Do the requirements for BPAD even matter?

Acording to the DSM-whatever criteria, I dont have bipolar because the longest I've ever been depressed is a little over a week.

I get terribly sick to my stomach when I realize the all crazy shit I've been doing, Is that normal?

Right after I tried to shoot myself I was so sick I threw up. I also throw up when I come down from manic episodes.

I get tremors in my hands and voice pretty bad and they seem to be getting worse. Is it the depakote or is it something else?

[pinkybee]

For a start.....welcome 

Sounds like you've been through a lot at such a young age (((((((CreamSoda))))))))

I'd guess that it would take a decent amount of time and assessment, to differentiate btw Bipolar & Schizoaffective as a diagnosis.

I hope you have a good doctor that's doing that assessing, so that you'll have a answer soon and your treatment can be narrowed-down to the right meds/doses.

All the way from Australia....good luck & take care ok? 

[Guest Guest_mel1_*]

Hey Cream Soda! I hope I'm not being inappropriate, but you are really funny. Don't ever lose your sense of humor. It sounds like you are going to need it! The wonderful world of MI! Keep posting. You will find a lot of suppoort here. I don't know what else to say right now, so take care, okay? mel

[tallulah]

im so sorry to hear about all of the things youve been through at such a young age.

i dont have so much to offer as far as your dx's go.  but i think the most important thing for you to do right now is focus on your symptoms and get the medication and help you need for them, instead of looking for a proper diagnosis.

sometimes dealing with the issues at hand are far more important...

xoxox

tal

[GroovyGwen]

Yo Creamy - wassup???

As for the diagnosis - I say fuggehdabowdit.  It's words on a page and while it may validate you saying "It's not me - I'm sick", it doesn't matter too much.  You are sick and with the right medication you will get better.  I would love to be able to pinpoint what makes me "different" or "Mentally Interesting" but when it comes right down to it, I don't give a shit WHAT I am as long as I feel better and don't jump off a bridge or drive my car into a tree. 

Now.

I know some meds can cause tremors, but if the voices are getting WORSE instead of BETTER then I don't think the meds are working.  Or at least not as much as they should be.  You have a good doc?  Call him/her.  Now.  I'll wait.  Do not pass go do not collect $200, do not wait until you steal another car, clean the gun, actually succeed at killing yourself. 

As for the puking, I see it as your "healthy" side seeing what your "sick" side is doing and not liking it one bit.  Besides I think anyone would puke if they saw a 4 cm chunk being cut out of someone's arm, let alone there own, right?  Coming down from the mania - what do you think, adrenaline maybe?  It could be a side effect of the crash.  I don't know - talk to your doc about it. 

And not creative?  Are you kidding me?  Look at what you have done with yourself, that's pretty damn creative.  I think the creativity comes from thinking outside the box and conspiracy theories and having to have the gov't put together a sting to come get you takes some outside of box thinking.  I bet there are things in your "normal" life that you aren't giving yourself credit for. 

Um, have you called your doc?  And why not?  I told you I'd wait....

[anotherBP]

I was like you and thought I might be schitzoaffective.  I had some bazarr delusions involving aliens, government, and God as well.  I even puke too during a mania.  But If I gave my opinion I would agree w/BP diagnosis right now.  Stay on your meds.  One other thing.

GET RID OF YOUR GUNS!    

[wifezilla]

My husband is BP and has had very similar delusions. He had his first depression 2 years ago. Before that it was mania and psychosis with no depression. Not everyone fits the textbook definitions for bipolar.

[crazynotstupid]

Just so ya know--BP doesn't *always" require depression.  See the first sticky, "Bipolar 3,4,5,6...100?"  Ya never know.  (Hey, we'll ALL be bp someday!)

As for your tremors, well, you could always check out the main Crazy Meds page or ask up in the Anticonvulsants forum.  (Me, I got the damn lithium tremors, whee...)

Anyways, welcome, glad you're here!  Stick around and have some fun!

[NARS]

Welcome and good on you for posting.

About your feelings regarding shit you've done while gonzo: I think that's pretty normal once your meds start to kick in, though it can be a feature of depression.  I've spent a lot of therapy time "processing" all that shit.  I was ashamed, scared, etc. of all the craziness.  Of course I had 40 years of it to look back on.  No, no stolen cars, no whacked hallucinations, but plenty of wild living.  It may seem like too much to deal with, but try to be easy on yourself.  Be gentle; you did what seemed right, and now you know it wasn't, and you'll take care of yourself.  That's your priority right now.  If it stays on your mind, try to get to a therapist to talk it out.

But be kind to yourself.  You need to take care of your MI so you can live better.  You're bright, funny, imaginative--you deserve to be well.

[Cream Soda]

Thanks for all the advice, I think you guys might be right. And I might get rid of my guns, but it kinda hard when you've grown up around them and you are an avid hunter. Maybe I could take up a less dangerous hobby, like shuffle board.

[AirMarshall]

Cream,

I wouldn't give up my guns either, I think I can resist any impulse to use them. However, with paranoid delusions things aren't real are they.  You might consider having a friend or relative hold them for you and just pick one of for the day when you are hunting.

Don't know on tremors with depakote. 

A.M.

[synthetic]

Maybe I could take up a less dangerous hobby, like shuffle board.

Be careful with the shuffle board.  If you only knew how many old men died a violent death at the end of bloody match of shuffle board.  Or was that just in my head?

Sorry, couldn't resist.