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I totally know how you feel. I feel like running around and screaming when I'm manic. The best thing to do is keep constructively busy as best you can. My mania is accompanied by panic so life sucks for me right now. I also hate all of this hot weather and wish it would hurry up and quit already. Can you take a med to help calm you down?

Lilie

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I wish I had some meds to keep me calm. I just took a zyprexa which should help me out. I usually take them at bedtime but today I am so jumpy and I'm out of benzos so the zyprexa will just have to do. I'm glad you're feeling better.

Lilie

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I was that way for half of May.  I was a total robot at work for fear that if I deviated from a strict schedule I'd beat the shit out of someone.  Do you have a roomate or some other in-person support  where you are?  I, luckily, had a friend who invited me for dinner almost every night to check in and kind of let me get things out and also kept me from going off and doing something after work when I was full of pent up rage and energy.  Also this kept me from SI, which I do when I can't let my rage out on others.  I'd also schedule up my days off...I'm dangerous when left along during a mania.

I hope you continue to feel more calm.

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I was a total robot at work for fear that if I deviated from a strict schedule I'd beat the shit out of someone.

I am so there right now.  I am hiding out on this board to keep from yelling at people.  Read my post on the people suck board, that explains it.  There are all these filing cabinets in front of my office and I just want to ram my head into them until I sleep.  So do I go home?  Suck it up?  What?

Talula

Talula

You don't want to lose her

She must be worth losing

If it is worth something

I think of that whenever I see you post.  Had to google for the lyrics, so I cheated.  Do you ever run?  Make yourself as tired as you can physically until you just can't take it anymore?  I used to go on these marathon bike rides (OK they probably only seemed like a marathon) and they would put me into this euphoric endorphic bliss...  Then sleep a few hours later...  Mania plus ADD-ishness sucks.  or sit here and type and type and type until you can't type anymore.

What's the doc say? 

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Until 10 days ago, I avoided my parents for 2.5 months because they weren't being supportive of my BP.  I understand.  Go home if you need to collect yourself.  Get support from your boyfriend ASAP.  Stay online and talk to people here.  Parents can bring out the best and WORST in all of us.  The bond is so primal to our thinkings and our behavior that, in some ways, it is impossible for us to get away from.  Do whatever your need to clear your mind and don't reapporoach the situation until you've gotten through this episode.  Again, get support from wherever and whoever you can.  You're not alone!

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Crap Tal -

I hate it when 'rents pull the "When are you going to be better" shit.  It took my mom a few years to stop asking when I could be off the meds and she still asks it from time to time.  When I went on Depakote I had to explain to her why, what it was, how it may help etc.  I know she is concerned but damn woman, I am taking care of my own shit because YOU obviously couldn't take care of it for me or even help! 

The crying release is probably good though, did it make you feel at least a little better because it purged you of stuff?  Try to let it all out, or as much as you can seeing how you may not get another chance for awhile.  Not to be so psychobabbly, but try to focus on the fact that it is HER problem not yours that she doesn't get this stuff.  SHE is the one who reacted adversely, you are doing the best you can.  At least you know now that you can't go to your mom for support.  Sucks.  And you will probably make the mistake or trying to confide in her again, and she will probably wig again and make you wig again.  Man, makes you wonder who the child is. 

Hang in there.  Go have a chocolate bar.  Not 12, just 1.  Here, I'll have one with you.  yummmmm....  chocolate...  Or maybe not - sugar and caffeine is not what manic girl needs now.  How about some nice chamomile tea? 

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