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Customers suck


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NOTHING SERIOUS, just need to blow off some steam after a day of work. By the way, if you have ever exhibited this behaviour in shops then SHAME ON YOU ;) (I work in a jewellery/gift shop btw)

1. Is it not possible that just for ONCE you could sort out your money BEFORE you get to the till? Instead of standing there for ages fiddling around with coins, dropping things on the floor and laughing in a 'What an extraordinary state of events!' kind of way while a line of angry people queue up behind you and proceed to shout at ME for being slow as soon as you've left.

2. If you need something from the window, then DESCRIBE IT. Don't say 'the unusual-looking one' or 'the one that looks like this *makes random shape in the air*' or 'oh you know the one I mean, don't you? It looks Indian'. ALL THE JEWELLERY WE SELL COMES FROM INDIA! WHAT SHAPE IS IT? WHAT COLOUR IS IT? HOW MUCH IS IT? For god's sake...

3. If you need something from a display cabinet, don't point randomly at the glass and say 'That one'. I can't see which one you mean because I'm not bloody psychic!

4. DON'T lean over and grab something from a cabinet as soon as I've opened it. Chances are you'll knock everything over with your stupid clumsy hands and I'll be the one that has to tidy it up.

5. If we're playing a song you like, don't sing. Don't whistle either. Please.

6. If you find something with a funny slogan on it like a badge or a cigarette tin then DON'T read the slogan out loud, laugh and then look at me. I don't find it funny. I work here. I hear that slogan read out by morons like you a hundred times a day. I know what it says. It wasn't funny the first time. It's not going to be funny now.


8. If your children are in the shop with you, keep a goddamn eye on them. I'm not a babysitter (I actually had someone leave their pushchair with the baby still in it in front of the till while they went downstairs to look at lamps).

9. If you're a man approaching middle-age, don't make jokes (you're not funny). Don't lean on the counter and smirk at me. Don't belittle your wife deliberately to try and make the other shoppers laugh. Don't hum or tap your fingers. And don't f**king patronise me, I've worked here for 13 months which is precisely 13 months longer than you.

10. If you're American, don't tell me how cute my accent is. Don't ask for discounts just because things are expensive (it's England. I have to live here. I KNOW IT'S EXPENSIVE. You think I get a discount on my rent?). Don't stand in the middle of the shop shrieking like a fire alarm just because our wooden giraffes are sooooooo adorable. They're not. They're wooden giraffes, for god's sake... (Sorry Americans, but I bet you know who I mean..)

11. If I say we don't sell something, we don't bloody sell it. Look elsewhere for your stuffed dead seagull with wings that flap when you pull a string. Freak...

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... *feel better now* Although kind of feel like I could go on for a hundred years...

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I hated working retail.

I worked in a convenience store sometimes when the boss I was working for needed me to do that.

I was 16 and he'd ship me off where ever he needed me to work. He'd send some guy to pick me up at school and take me where ever I was supposed to work that night. I ended up at this one gas station to work and as we were changing out tills for the shift change we got robbed and the dude shot at us. I couldn't remember what that guy looked like except he was wearing the ugliest pink hightops I'd ever seen in my life.

A few years later, I was manic and working three jobs. One of which was an overnight job at a big box store. I had to disarm a customer once and escort him off the premises. Now keep in mind I'm only 5'7" and this dude was about a foot taller and about 3 feet wider in shoulders than me. I just snuck up behind him and asked him in my friendliest, sweetest, most "southern" voice..."WELL HOWDY DARLIN'! HOW MAY I HELP YOU?" I scared the shit out of that man. I think he jumped about two feet off the ground, spun around and I was right up on him. Just the sheer audacity of me doing that in front of EVERYONE was enough to make him drop the mop handle that he'd broken off earlier and was going to use on another customer in line ahead of him.

I picked it up and escorted him out to the parking lot.

That's not even counting the time that a car flipped onto it's top in the parking lot. Or the man the ran out with a stolen ski mask and an ax. Or even having to deal with the people who strip down naked to try clothes on. Of course it's never good looking people who get naked in public.

So yeah, customers suck.

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Holy cow, you are so right! I've worked retail before, and sometimes the customers suck rocks! The problem with most of them is that they don't see the person behind the counter as a person, but as a manikin - there to wait on their every need.

Assholes. I'm so glad I'm out of the retail business... hopefully forever.

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i work for a busy McCoffee canadian franchise (apparently the busiest coffee shop in the province, i didn't know that until after i took the job hee!). so we're talking cheap coffee, cheap goodies, sandwiches, soup... little things. the kind of things you'd expect to be able to grab in five minutes and go back to work (or wherever).

what bothers me more than customers "wasting" my time, is the customers that make everyone else wait in line behind them. i'm getting paid to be aggravated and treated like a servant. other people are there to spend their own money, and i think it's REALLY inconsiderate to hold up a line of 25 people for twenty minutes while you read the damned menu (a whole 30 seconds of reading, tops). especially if you've already been standing in line for ten minutes already - isn't that enough time to decide? if someone was genuinely having a difficult time, i've got all day. but if you feel THAT entitled... i'm probably going to mess up your lunch in some insignificant but annoying way. ;)

also - and i think all retail workers would appreciate this - PLEASE, please don't stand there and say "WHAT?" because you don't want to turn off your ipod or stop talking on your phone. i have no interest in competing with the latest coldplay album or your best friend's hangover story. if i say can i help you three times and you don't hear me or you raise your little finger to signal "just a minute", i'm moving on to the next person. no matter where you are or what you're doing, if you're interacting with the people around you, it's just RUDE!

this is fun i like complaining... :)

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Retail sucks. But not as much as the stint I did working in a welfare payment office many years ago. Yikes. Being yelled out all day over policy. Having computers and potplants thrown at you. Having people hang outside the office later to get you. And I was one of those helpful welfare officers, always polite & trying to do everything possible to help people get their money. There is nothing worse than dealing with people over the most basic needs - money for food & shelter.

My only moment of glory in that rather short-lived career:- a customer who had waited in line for ages on a busy day to lodge her form was finally called up by my Asian colleague. She took one look at him & walked over to my queue, pushing in & retorting "I refused to be served by HIM". I said "OK, may I have your form then please ma'am?". She handed it over, and I tore it into shreds, threw it in her face & calmly told her to never to set foot in the office again. Hahaha.

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My father works in customer service for the housing department of the council. It's similar to your welfare job, he absolutely hates it... I'm not surprised, he has to hear about the worst of life (and subsequently, so did we whenever he got home).

I do enjoy complaining sometimes but that's only because I think my head would explode if I didn't... Some people are so stupid and self-centred they actually think they are justified in getting angry because I can't immediately see what's inside their head. "I don't know what a good present would be for your daughter, shouldn't YOU know that?!" "WHICH pink one?! They're ALL pink!" "No I don't know where else you could try and get X or Y, I work HERE. I'm responsible for knowing what we sell HERE, not anywhere else!"

Guess what? I'm off to work in an hour. Yippee, Christmas shoppers! ;)

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"No I don't know where else you could try and get X or Y, I work HERE. I'm responsible for knowing what we sell HERE, not anywhere else!"

Guess what? I'm off to work in an hour. Yippee, Christmas shoppers! :)

Working at the convenience store I got these on the phone all of the time... "What do you mean, you don't know the phone number of the other store?" (that shared the name of the store I worked at - there were five other stores with the same name...) OR "Why don't you know if that other store has such and such?" OR (my favorite) "If so and so doesn't work at your store, do you know where they work?" No. *sigh* "Well, why not?"

Because I don't work there!!! ;)

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I worked at a satellite company in the customer service department. OMG I can't believe some of the calls we would get.

Like this one guy that called in and couldn't get a signal. I asked him what error code he saw on his television screen. He said that he couldn't see one. Why? Because he had dismantled the entire system and had it in the back of his "pick 'em up truck". Because he had to travel all the way into to town to call on the pay phone to reach customer service.

There was nothing I could do but tell him to reset his equipment and tell him to make sure that there were no trees blocking the signal.

He was at least nice about it and really sometimes you can't help but feel bad for some customers and the stuff they do. To themselves.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh man this customer I had the other day.

He had a sore throat, and demanded I give him cold and flu tablets (phenylepherine, the pseudo's were out of sight thank God). This is after he hands me a script for THREE different blood pressure medications. I explain that a) the medication is a decongestant, and will not help his throat and b) they are not recommended for people with hypertension.

He argues with me for 10 minutes, after which I go check with the pharmacist (who of course agrees). I offer him lozenges, paracetamol, codeine, throat gargles, topical decongestants, vitamin c, throat sprays all of which he either already has or doesn't want. I stayed super polite so at least he wasn't rude, and I finally sold him some anesthetic lozenges (after reminding him not to gulp hot coffee or bite his own tongue).

I feel proud of myself, and as a walks out he goes "if these don't work i'll just take my daughters cold and flu medication *wink*" FINE, go take a bloody pill that will put you at risk of a heart attack dickhead. I didn't actually say that, but I wanted to.

I have nice customers too. There was one lady who was obviously accidentally dependent on codeine, so I explained it really nicely and she decided to see her doctor and taper down (she wasn't taking too much). Also I helped a lady with a wound cover that didn't show.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Not retail, but I was a directory assistance operator for 8 years. Graveyard shift. Got screamed at, cursed, treated like shit, and occasionally had to listen to someone throwing up (after the bars close), all the while having managers listen in and tell me what I was doing wrong, and writing it up in my records. I still have nightmares about the place, and that was 20 years ago.

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  • 2 months later...


My personal fave was: [link=http://notalwaysright.com/thank-you-for-shopping-at-apocalypsemart/1191" target="_blank]Thank you for shopping at ApocalypseMart[/link]

I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Takes me back to my BigBoxStore days. lemme tellya.

reading that site makes me laugh. so, working in retail just doesnt make me feel like dying so much ;)

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