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im afraid no one will love me because of my MI, being gay compounds it even more. partner of 5 years left me broken, was abused emotionally during the latter part of the relationship. don't know if i deserve love, or if ill ever find love again. this adds to the depression and anxiety. just venting.

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Being gay and MI is a real bitch - I can attest to that too. I pass very well (WAY better than I'd like to), so most people don't know I'm gay unless I specifically TELL them. It makes it really hard to meet people, because I can never tell who is OK to consider as a dating prospect, and almost nobody thinks that I'm a possible prospect. Don't know if you also have that problem. Also, being gay and MI sucks because both being MI and being gay (having had to come out, the experience of being a gay teenager and feeling totally WRONG all the time, having no role models or models for my sexuality, having horrible experiences with trying to "make myself straight", having killer anxiety about EVERYTHING, the PTSD-ish aspects of my MI) have left me with some major roadblocks about sexuality in general. Sometimes I'm pretty sure I will be a virgin for the rest of my life. I'm pretty sure I just don't have the capacity to form a normal sexual relationship with anyone. ;) My sexuality is one of the most broken things about me, and I hate it ^_^:)

Phew. Guess I needed to rant too :) . Just wanted to say - I hear you. Being gay and MI together sucks out loud. It just makes it that much harder to get your shit together, huh?

ETA: I'm so sorry you lost your partner and were stuck in abusive relationship. I bet THAT all on its own just compounds your MI by about a hundredfold.

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a thousand-fold. i dont know how t get myself fixed. between this MI, self-esteem issues, and just going through life in general is overwhelming. i am relieved that im not alone in this struggle.

You're not. I'm sure some other LGBT etc. folk will chime in too, but you're definitely not alone.

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Nope, you're not alone. You have to come out at least twice, once for being gay and another time for being MI.

I'm old enough to be your momma, but I wanted to chime in and say you're definitely not alone. I haven't been in a relationship in a long time either, but in my case, it's the MI (depression and/or anxiety) that gets in the way. The "gay" doesn't get in the way any more. It's old hat.

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Nope, you're not alone. You have to come out at least twice, once for being gay and another time for being MI.

I'm old enough to be your momma, but I wanted to chime in and say you're definitely not alone. I haven't been in a relationship in a long time either, but in my case, it's the MI (depression and/or anxiety) that gets in the way. The "gay" doesn't get in the way any more. It's old hat.

well if you see my pic, youll know i dont need to come out to anyone, theyll know it. the ex made and still makes me feel like whale crap at the bottom of the ocean, and maybe thats a part of why i feel i dont deserve love. add the MI to the mix... oh well...

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I hear ya. Being bi only makes it more fun. at least it's been my experience that if when I date a woman, she starts to think I want to go out and cheat with men. I date men, they think I want to cheat on them with women. I have never cheated in my life!! If we even get past that, The MI gets disclosed and suddenly the person I'm dating magically disappears. I've gotten sick of the game. Now I think I'll just say "Hi, I'm jeff, I'm bi and I am mentally ill." at the first meeting. Save me a lot of trouble. ;)

But believe me. You all are not alone. Keep up the good fight. Prejudice on any level sucks.

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  • 1 year later...

Yep, tons o' fun. Also fun when you go to a therapist and they make a huge deal about your gayness, and not so huge of a deal about your MI-ness.

...But with that aside, I guess I find it hard being gay and MI in central Pennsylvania...even though I'm 100% fine with my sexuality, I still have to face things that straight-identifying people don't, which only adds to whatever is wrong with me. It's just an extra thing to worry about. I wouldn't change who I am for anything, but sometimes it sucks :-)

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