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how to unravel something that is tightly wound


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(apparently not that closely wound)

ok. that stability i was talking about?

well, i sure effed it up.

decided to smoke a little resin. horrible fear, paranoia, memory loss, trouble speaking, lack of sleep.

it was like an anxious hypo-mania.

and i had to function around the family at the same time! eek!

luckily, i didn't take ambien for a week so i chalked it up to sleep deprivation.

still, don't mess up your good thing! it is not worth it!

i chucked the vyvanse, the predisone, the alcohol and am in the process of getting rid of the drug paraphenelia.

drugs are not worth it!!! don't do it!!!

you don't even know it one glass of wine will send you into a psychotic episode which is known to happen.

i do not want that crap in my life. anything that messes up my stability will just not do.

so please, heed my warning: stay away from that crap!

*thank god it did not last. if there had been a crisis i would have been in deep doo doo.

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Hey Kathryn, that's one nasty experience & a good lesson for us all. I really hope you are feeling a lot better now & on your way back to a more stable place. Good on you for throwing out all the crap that could tempt you back to it... although it sounds like you had such a horrible time that it should be enough of a deterrent!

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It's good that you've given up. One of my scariest experiences was on weed. Looking back it might have been laced with something. Anyway it was even scarier than psychosis because I guess in psychosis you're giving up control of your mental facilities completely so sometimes you can lose even the feelings of needing to control what is going on in your head (paranoid psychosis is of course possible and just as bad).

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