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So I was staying up until three a few nights ago.


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And my dad must've seen that the lights were on in my room. I tried to argue with him about me staying up, but since there was no homework (school is over) there wasn't a good reason (according to him) to stay up that late. He said some stuff (i wont take the trouble to recall it all) which ened up with me slamming the door and going to bed. I know he has good intentions and he loves me though. It's a stupid reason, really.

;):) :)

Anyway after turning off the lights I took a nailcutter and snipped of pieces of skin from my wrist. So now when i'm at the dinner table I have to turn my wrist down (which really isn't obvious, since it's my normal eating position). And I can hide it with my watch when I go out.

I just like to space out at night and I think I was kind of angry after that and that I lost my spacing out time.

reading that all above btw sounds so immature and silly. Im kind of ashamed.

and I like to brag a bit.

i'm going to post it here anyway.

(I just recall him being all mad and in shock a bit, as in "why are you up so late", that it prompted me to get angry)

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Do you normally self injure?

It's fair enough that you got angry, I like have some space too but hey parents have rules.

Are you keeping him awake? does he think your aren't getting enough sleep??

The thing with self injury is that it works- I mean it releases endorphins and it probably felt really good to cut your wrist. That means that it can easily become addictive, and it's a very unhealthy way to deal with stuff. You need to get help asap so this doesn't become a pattern.

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please find someone to talk to regarding your cutting. it could be a school counselor or your parents, or anybody you can trust. as blj said, self-injury is not a healthy way of dealing with stress...

stay well,

carmex

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I don't think you sound immature and silly. I think you sound like a person in pain, who tried to relieve the pain in the only way they could think of. Hey, if the stuff our brains told us to do was always rational and sensible, not only would we not be mentally ill, we probably wouldn't even be human anymore.

I'm wondering the same thing as Blue - is SI something you normally do? If not, you should really try to nip it in the bud - that can be a terribly hard habit to break. If so, you should probably get some professional help, if you haven't already. I don't really know your history, but I'm wondering if there's something a little more going on here. I'm validating your angry feelings, but I'm wondering if there's some other pain in there that's making you SI, and if maybe there is a way you can figure out what that is and get some help for it. SI isn't usually something that happens on a whim, to the best of my understanding.

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i agree with PP's...you are young (i am assuming)...if you nip it in the bud now, that is true, it will be so much easier in the long run as far as things to overcome MH-wise.

is there some reason your dad triggers you to SI? did something happen w/ him? what's going on? (you don't need to tell us...just something to ponder...) do you have a therapist, counselor...SOMEONE you can talk to and get this OUT of your heart? if you don't, you will only internalize it and hurt yourself (and those who love you once they find out you have been hurting yourself and trying to hide your pain...they probably want to help you...).

please talk to someone. hurting yourself is a god awful addiction. take it from one who knows...who started young carving a crazy boyfriends' initials into her forearm. thank god it didn't 'hold' and isn't there anymore. he wasn't worth it anyway...he wound up getting himself hit by a fucking train in 1992 at about age 25 from what i have heard... i'm surprised i don't have a zillion and one piercings all over my body and tattoos from all the relationship heartache/headache i've put myself thru with so many guys...and girls...sigh...

anyway...PLEASE get yourself some help. ASAP. talk to your mother. talk to an aunt. a counselor. a teacher. a coach. SOMEONE. you are worth so much more than this...find a better habit to make yourself feel alive. it is possible.

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idk, I just feel like i'm expendable, especially when i'm angry or whatever.

And I think I was wrong to about being angry. I aplogized the day afterwards, and my dad's cool with it.

I really don't do much as one should be doing. I don't hang out with anyone at school.

And I think I have an issue with the way I look, mainly my acne.

p.s. Sorry for not reading the FAQ..r.egarding the skull thingies.

thanks for the replies, guys.

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Hi,

I think it is really good that you posted and you are able to unpick what happened that night.

I struggled at school with fitting in, and I had acne quite badly (it's not so bad now, though I still have prescription meds for it and it still makes me self conscious.) It's one of those things that everyone makes little of, like spots are no big deal, but it can be really debilitating when the spots flare up and you feel like the odd one out, it's hard to hang out with people that you are into, idiots make comments about it etc.

It sounds like you have hurt yourself as a response to being angry, not having your own space and feeling disrespected made you angry, and you felt it was so intense that you turned it in on yourself. Maybe you and your dad don't get on so well and it's hard to get through to him. Maybe you don't like getting angry in the first place. Maybe it just seemed like the instinctive thing to do.

The problem with self harm is that it causes more problems than it solves. It causes ugly scars (just like acne) and it can worry other people, in fact other peoples reactions are often a mix of horror, shock and ignorance about why you do it. Self harm releases a certain brain chemistry, that makes you feel better, and that can be addictive. Unfortunately, it can mean that you need to cut more and deeper to get that hit, and that can mean that you end up doing yourself some serious damage.

Is there a trusted adult you can talk to about this? A parent, friend or teacher? It sounds like you need some help dealing with the emotions you have right now, maybe with talking to your dad also.

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Hi,

I think it is really good that you posted and you are able to unpick what happened that night.

I struggled at school with fitting in, and I had acne quite badly (it's not so bad now, though I still have prescription meds for it and it still makes me self conscious.) It's one of those things that everyone makes little of, like spots are no big deal, but it can be really debilitating when the spots flare up and you feel like the odd one out, it's hard to hang out with people that you are into, idiots make comments about it etc.

It sounds like you have hurt yourself as a response to being angry, not having your own space and feeling disrespected made you angry, and you felt it was so intense that you turned it in on yourself. Maybe you and your dad don't get on so well and it's hard to get through to him. Maybe you don't like getting angry in the first place. Maybe it just seemed like the instinctive thing to do.

The problem with self harm is that it causes more problems than it solves. It causes ugly scars (just like acne) and it can worry other people, in fact other peoples reactions are often a mix of horror, shock and ignorance about why you do it. Self harm releases a certain brain chemistry, that makes you feel better, and that can be addictive. Unfortunately, it can mean that you need to cut more and deeper to get that hit, and that can mean that you end up doing yourself some serious damage.

Is there a trusted adult you can talk to about this? A parent, friend or teacher? It sounds like you need some help dealing with the emotions you have right now, maybe with talking to your dad also.

idk, i'm not really one to talk about it to other people. I should, but i always end up not doing that...

May I ask, what did you do to cope while in school with not fitting in as you said?

and I feel a lot better now. :] I don't think i'll do it again.

thanks again, everyone.

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It was a really rough time because when you are in school, the cliques and social rules seem like the final word in life, everything feels so rigid and inflexible. Teenagers tend to see things in a very black and white way, and what is a temporary awkward stage can feel like it will last forever. What happens is that people get older and have life experiences and they widen in their world views and their minds open up. In the adult world, there are still popularity contests and social rules, but often people are so much more rounded and open minded that it is easier to be an individual and still get respect.

I was bullied in school, and I told teachers and parents and I moved classes into one where I made friends, which helped. I also had a fairly close knit family to support me. My friends were all outcasts too. I did give into peer pressure to drink and have sex too early, which I regret. Looking back, I wish I had believed that I was fundamentally okay, if not a bit odd, and hung in there. I have found in life that if you are not yourself, you are lying to people, and you get into situations that you are not suited to. It is better to be true to yourself, you are more likely to have fun that way.

Now I am still dorky and shy and while the braces have come off, the acne stays. However I have found friends and I have had fun, it does get easier.

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It was a really rough time because when you are in school, the cliques and social rules seem like the final word in life, everything feels so rigid and inflexible. Teenagers tend to see things in a very black and white way, and what is a temporary awkward stage can feel like it will last forever. What happens is that people get older and have life experiences and they widen in their world views and their minds open up. In the adult world, there are still popularity contests and social rules, but often people are so much more rounded and open minded that it is easier to be an individual and still get respect.

I was bullied in school, and I told teachers and parents and I moved classes into one where I made friends, which helped. I also had a fairly close knit family to support me. My friends were all outcasts too. I did give into peer pressure to drink and have sex too early, which I regret. Looking back, I wish I had believed that I was fundamentally okay, if not a bit odd, and hung in there. I have found in life that if you are not yourself, you are lying to people, and you get into situations that you are not suited to. It is better to be true to yourself, you are more likely to have fun that way.

Now I am still dorky and shy and while the braces have come off, the acne stays. However I have found friends and I have had fun, it does get easier.

Thanks. ;) That helped a lot.

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