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i think my friends' 6 yo son has autism/apergers...


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he can be anti social. he can be social, yet awkward and can all of a sudden turn vengeful and violent, hurting others, threatening others.

he hops up and down really fast flapping his hands-seeming to focus...or when he is excited.

eye contact...not long. but he can do it. he gets distracted quite easily...its like he is not all there...he is in some other plane of existence...something deep and spiritual like an indigo child...

his drawings are AMAZING in how he puts ie. a dragon together...he will draw shapes to make his 'figure'. its amazing. absolutely beautiful stuff.

he has a very small thin body for his age...always has. HUGE eyes. not sure if this has anything to do with anything...

has allergies. got a lot of ear infections when younger. a ton. still does i think...seems to get infections of anything easily.

he is on a gluten free (mainly) diet. also no wheat, no dairy...has goats milk though.

thankfully he goes to a waldorf school although he has been threatened to be basically suspended or terminated or whatever the word for that is due to his violent behavior towards other children. its downright scary...its almost like he likes torture. he really hurts them bad. and when he is mad or feels wronged, he will keep trying to get at the kid to hurt them and something awful. ie. he will dig his nail into their skin...he will chase them with a stick. he will do these strange martial arts moves that seem like death grips or pokes or something...he will chase with a garden hoe or shovel intending to harm a kid...etc. its awful.

often he has not listened to instructions well and is something terrible when it comes to simple transitions throughout the day or change in his life.

i don't believe his mother is having him treated for autism. i think she 'thinks' he might be ADHD-like but not sure if she is going the western way of treating him for autism...or getting it dx'd. she is just having him do diet and herbs. not much is changing although he is awfully mellow for how he usually is...so she must be doing something...not sure what, though.

just wondering if any of this sounds autistic to you... i don't know much about it.

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I don't know but it sounds like you are attributing some nasty or just odd things to autism and that pisses me off. [children digging their nails into peoples' skin? a talent for art? Huge eyes? what???]

Sorry if that's wrong but that's the way it is.

The reference to an indigo child is just ignorant and kind of insulting. Like autism is this bizarre otherworldly thing.

Which you did claim to be, ignorant, so I suppose I should let it slide but I'm sick of people coming here and saying that their sister's best friend's boyfriend knows a boy who might be autistic because he does this thing where he says stuff over and over.

Your disgruntled aspie.

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Moodymama,

I don't think you are completely off by being concerned about him. Some of what you are saying could be related to an autism spectrum disorder. The big concern is his age. Whatever the issue, it should be properly treated before it becomes even more difficult to treat. Early intervention is key with those type of disorders. However, most people have some type of trait(s) that is(are) seen on the autism spectrum, so who knows.

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Moodymama,

You have to be very careful when making assumptions about other people's children. My son flaps his arms and twitches to beat the band, but he doesn't happen to have autism. We've had all sorts of helpful dxes from people who think they know what's "wrong" with him.

A lot of kids get physical when they're not getting their way. I would attribute that to being a child, but I'm not doc.

I know you're trying to be helpful to your friend, but I think it would be best to let her be the guide.

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As a Mom, I just don't think any good can come from meddling in the parent/child relationship of friends. No matter how close of friends you are. (same goes for family). Like Susan said, your friend is already aware to some extent that her child may have some sort of problem. The best thing you can do as a FRIEND, IMO, is to be there for her when she's ready to talk about it. Or, if she ASKS.

Based on your posts from a few weeks ago, you have your hands quite full with your own child to be worrying about someone elses kid.

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I'm not an expert, but my 11 year old nephew has asperger's. My sister and I are close, I see my nephew a lot, I went through the whole diagnosis process with her. It took about 9 years to diagnose him, not because we didn't have access to the best care and diagnosticians, but because this is a very difficult syndrome to diagnose and it is not to be taken lightly. My sister and I both believe that my our father had asperger's, but we didn't come to this decision until after he had passed away and we knew more about the symptoms.

he can be anti social. he can be social, yet awkward and can all of a sudden turn vengeful and violent, hurting others, threatening others.

Social/anti-social, those characteristics are on a spectrum and can be true of just about anyone. Vengeful, violent, hurtful, threatening = not necessarily asperger's. Perhaps secondary to asperger's due to extreme frustration.

he hops up and down really fast flapping his hands-seeming to focus...or when he is excited.

Frequently due to sensitivity disorders, or adhd.

eye contact...not long. but he can do it.

Perhaps an asperger's trait.

he gets distracted quite easily...its like he is not all there...he is in some other plane of existence...something deep and spiritual like an indigo child...

I'm not familiar with the term indigo child, but these symptoms are frequently due to adhd, boredom, very high imagination, anxiety, phobias, depression.

his drawings are AMAZING in how he puts ie. a dragon together...he will draw shapes to make his 'figure'. its amazing. absolutely beautiful stuff.

Perhaps he is artistic.

he has a very small thin body for his age...always has. HUGE eyes. not sure if this has anything to do with anything...

I think it has to do with his appearance.

has allergies. got a lot of ear infections when younger. a ton. still does i think...seems to get infections of anything easily.

Not a symptom of asperger's.

he is on a gluten free (mainly) diet. also no wheat, no dairy...has goats milk though.

thankfully he goes to a waldorf school although he has been threatened to be basically suspended or terminated or whatever the word for that is due to his violent behavior towards other children. its downright scary...its almost like he likes torture. he really hurts them bad. and when he is mad or feels wronged, he will keep trying to get at the kid to hurt them and something awful. ie. he will dig his nail into their skin...he will chase them with a stick. he will do these strange martial arts moves that seem like death grips or pokes or something...he will chase with a garden hoe or shovel intending to harm a kid...etc. its awful.

often he has not listened to instructions well and is something terrible when it comes to simple transitions throughout the day or change in his life.

OK, so he sounds like he has some issues, and if he is going to a special school it is probably because his parents have determined he has special needs.

i don't believe his mother is having him treated for autism. i think she 'thinks' he might be ADHD-like but not sure if she is going the western way of treating him for autism...or getting it dx'd. she is just having him do diet and herbs. not much is changing although he is awfully mellow for how he usually is...so she must be doing something...not sure what, though.

He wouldn't be "treated" for autism if he hasn't been diagnosed with autism. As for asperger's, it is a syndrome on a continuum - a very very long and wide and deep continuum. My son's psychiatrist has told me he sees some asperger's traits in my son, but not enough for him to diagnose him with asperger's. I believe that asperger's was put into the DSM only about 10 years ago. Hopefully the research on this syndrome will advance by leaps and bounds in the next few years. If your friend's child is at a school that specializes in special needs children they will make the necessary recommendations for him to be observed and perhaps tested by professionals who understand these types of needs.

just wondering if any of this sounds autistic to you... i don't know much about it.

I would never venture to guess whether a friend's child or a stranger's child has signs of autism or asperger's, and I feel like I know a little bit about asperger's (and I mean just a LITTLE bit). If you don't know much about it, I would let your friend and the professionals handle the diagnosis process, if that is indeed what is needed.

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i posted this not to offend anyone but to see about autism because from what i have heard, he fits somewhere in the spectrum, i feel. he is not just 'my friends son', he is like my nephew. i watch him. i often spend more time with him and his brother than my friend does. so i think your attitude about my totally well meaning post is uncalled for.

as for his school, it is a waldorf school. they don't aggressively pursue things like this...my friend isn't treating it right i don't feel...that is why i asked you guys, since you seem to know more about autism. never mind i'll find out somewhere else and see how i may help my friend if she ever wants my input.

wow...

First off, violent and empathy-less behavior is not part of the criteria for autism. Not every child with a behavior problem is autistic. Autism these days is a buzzword, kind of like bipolar disorder. It's thrown around a lot by people for any problem a child might have.

The other stuff... Well, who knows. Having gone through the process of getting a child diagnosed for autism, I know how long and how much work it takes. A few paragraphs from someone who is not the child's primary caregiver does not make even an internet diagnosis possible. I'm not even sure why you're posting this here-- it's not your kid and I can't imagine how it could helpful thirdhand.

If your friend is getting her child treated her way (diet and herbs) she obviously knows there's a problem. Throwing the word "autism" at her isn't going to help. It's probably been brought up to her before. It's something that is screened for aggressively in most school settings.

I think you should leave it alone. She's doing what she thinks is right, and I doubt you'll be able to convince her to seek further help than anyone else has. Unless she's specifically asked you to help her find a diagnosis that fits her son, it's really not your business.

But I'm being biased-- I don't like how every child with problems is now "autistic" because that tart Jenny Whatsherface wrote a book. Autism might be trendy among the playgroup set this last 6 months or so, but most people don't have a fucking clue what it means.

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it is CONCERN, yes. cuz i CARE. and i am curious. there is not much i can do, you guys are right...but i'm just wondering about austism is all. that is ALL. and if what i learn can help him or his mother or his teachers, so be it. i'm not here to label him or anyone but he definitely has some issues that are very dominant and are not going away. something is going on... can i fix it? probably not. can i do a thing about this? probably not. but i am trying to understand...and also cope myself because caring for him can be one hell of a nightmare, or dealing with how he treats my daughter...i'm just trying to understand.

yeah i do have my hands full but because i care for this boy on a regular basis and have known him since he was 2, i am pretty invested in his well being. we are like family.

i do not think i deserved that attack susanb and luna. not one bit.

Moodymama,

I don't think you are completely off by being concerned about him. Some of what you are saying could be related to an autism spectrum disorder. The big concern is his age. Whatever the issue, it should be properly treated before it becomes even more difficult to treat. Early intervention is key with those type of disorders. However, most people have some type of trait(s) that is(are) seen on the autism spectrum, so who knows.

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i posted this not to offend anyone but to see about autism because from what i have heard, he fits somewhere in the spectrum, i feel.

That may be, but I was and am offended and reacted accordingly. I'm not going to sit on my hands and shut my mouth just to make you feel comfortable with the things you're saying.

Hi. Autie space.

I'm going to say it.

Maybe I should be a little more soothing to your ego.

I don't think I deserve to feel like a big freak.

THANKS.

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*i* don't make YOU feel like a freak. i'm sorry you feel that way. i simply had questions. i know nothing about autism nor aspergers.

i don't need you to make my ego comfortable or my feelings cozy. believe me. i think i've been awfully respectful. sorry i offended you here in auti space. i will go back to my own thank you very much. you are right, i have enough of my own shit to be concerned about. and i definitely don't need this bullshit from you on top if it all. MY GOODNESS.

i posted this not to offend anyone but to see about autism because from what i have heard, he fits somewhere in the spectrum, i feel.

That may be, but I was and am offended and reacted accordingly. I'm not going to sit on my hands and shut my mouth just to make you feel comfortable with the things you're saying.

Hi. Autie space.

I'm going to say it.

Maybe I should be a little more soothing to your ego.

I don't think I deserve to feel like a big freak.

THANKS.

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