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Stable, yay, right?


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The (usually a few weeks long only, but intense) low swings mostly cleared up with the help of lamotrigine 11 months ago, and since lithium was added ~3 months ago the (usually fairly mild 2-5 days long) up swings are gone, too.

So this is what I was hoping for all those years. Head is calm and quiet. I don't plan to off myself. I don't stay up all night frantically mailing everyone I know and some I don't. A very orderly life, no extremes. Normal?

It just feels so weird. Who am I if I'm not crazy?

Anyone relate?

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erm, yeah... my flat has been waiting for an upswing to get cleaned ;) they're just not coming lately... no downswings either, so at least some stuff gets done.

i have come to plan my life around mood swings, which are fairly timely and like clockwork... but i've been "OK" for ages.

half finished paintings are waiting for a downswing so they can have some substance... but i'm "OK"

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Hells yeah!

It's like, what do I do with myself now? It takes a lot of energy to fight MI and once you reach a stable point, you have a great deal more time and energy than you did before.

I've had to decide what to do with myself at various points of stability. In ways, its like starting your life over.

I also felt like I was getting to know myself again. Phoenix without craziness....mmmmm. What' that? But I slipped into a nice rhythm and "rediscovered" myself.

My tdoc really helped me through these transition times.

peace,

Phoenix

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I'm not in remission, as it were, but I am more stable than I have been. I have always been an ambitious person, and had things that having bipolar deprived me off, plus I am young. So I have a lot of things to be getting on with now I am well, returning to work being the current thing.

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I think that I finally found genuine stability a month or two ago. Wow. Solid, not swinging, not in my head, not cognitively frazzled recovering from swinging.... Once the carbatrol cognitive impairment wore off, it was NICE and wonderful to experience. I'm like me of many years ago. I find that I have time on my hands, that coping w/curve balls is easy and I don't obsess on them, and that I can go forth with a normal life again. Only, it's a transition. I have a full range of emotions and all, but in a very strange way, I find that I'm bored. What is life w/o an episode? I'm so used to them that something feels missing with my new found stability. What do I do with all this normal time that I have? Weird. I hope I get over this soon! And, lol, I'm so used to having a hypo dieting period that I'm miffed at how people do this without one. ;)

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Well, I had several of those periods of in-the-middleness, which I thought were stabilty. I wasn't manic, wasn't depressed, but life was oh so blah. If that is what normal is then I didn't think I wanted it, well it turns out, after a few more swings returned, I have found myself at stability and guess what, it is better than that blah-ness I felt before. Then I wasn't depressed, but I wasn't happy. I wasn't manic, but I wasn't energetic. Now I have found true stability, I think, with more energy and happiness, without being manic. Of course I get down, of course I get stressed, of course I can even get hyper, but even normies do. So in some ways the stability you describe is better than being totally off your rocker, but I think it is not the best there can be, and for me that came with more self-awareness and life changes as well as tweaking the meds. I have faith that that kind of stability can come in time.

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