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Hypersexuality


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Ok so I'm 20 years old so it's not a puberty thing. I have an inexplicable need for sexual gratification. I masturbate at least 3 times a day, more if possible, the biggest problem though is I have VERY weird sexual preferences. For example, I love the idea of bestiality. When I see a male dog (I'm gay lol) on the street, I'm sexually aroused. I also have fantasies of having sex with guys and hurting them. I'm not going to act on them but I hate these thoughts and they're constant since I'm always aroused. I have other bad thoughts but I'm not going to share them here. I was sexually abused by my (male) cousin starting when I was 11 for several summers and I started looking at porn since I was 11 and masturbating since then too (it's really bad now since this year alone I've spent over $2000 on porn some of it while manic but my income was 0 since I'm a student). It's definitely an addiction. Now let me say I'm bipolar (NOS) and take depakote (1000mg) and lamictal (50mg) but I have these symptoms even when I'm not manic so I know it's not just the bipolarity. I know for a fact that I don't want a relationship. The guys I do like, I only like them for their bodies. I've had nothing but pain when I've been in relationships and I really just want these desires for sex to go away. What can I do? I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in a week and I want medicine for this. I need opinions, advice, anything please I'm desperate! Thanks for reading. Take care all!

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It's really good that you are coming to grips with this, pardon the pun. It's also very good that you will see your pdoc soon. I would suggest printing out this post and handing it to him. Beyond that, I'm sure other people will chime in with more info.

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Hi,

If you have been sexually abused, it's very common for a normal natural sexuality to express itself in inauthentic and unhealthy ways. I myself have been abused and have had sexual desires that have disgusted me, and it's very hard to look at your sexuality when you have been abused and to see something scary and unreocgnisable there.

I think that therapy would be a great idea for you. It would help you to sort out what happened to you, to get in touch with your own real sexuality, one that isn't repellent to you, which is there underneath all this. It's important not to let an abuser take your sexuality and twist it, it's just one more thing abuse takes away from you. I doubt that there is one medication that can take what you are experiencing away, and I am sure there is no way to block your sex drive altogether. I hope through therapy you will put the ghosts of abuse to rest, and afterwards to find that your own appetites are normal and safe and healthy for you.

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From what you are saying, I think the molestation disturbed your natural sexual development. This is most likely why you have such "abnormal" sexual desires. This is common with people who are sexually molested. This is also how many people who have been molested become molesters later in life. (Not saying you are by any means, just explaining how it all happens.) Children who are molested aren't given the chance to sexually mature emotionally the healthy way.

I am guessing this stuff is bothering you, considering you are asking about it. As someone above me suggested, therapy is going to be the best way to deal with this. Medication probably won't help you. You need to get out all of the old thoughts, feelings and hurt you have inside of you to help heal yourself sexually. You are already headed the right direction by recognizing it is a problem and you want it to stop. A therapist who specializes in sexual issues can definitely offer you some help and understanding with all of this. Please find someone to see as soon as you can.

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