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I don't know what happened


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i'm confused nothing makes ses we had time alone from the kids he went out alone tp call me to say he is devils decipoles.the kids got home and their stuff needs to be done i didnt eat in days and he makes more dirty dishews than actuqal food just mess i have ro cleqan.,iiiihave no one to go to he took my mother my kidsarebeing lied to leaving here would be th3e nbest. my eyebrowis split openiwish i had moneytonott i try being everyone but i am not even myself. i'm scared they turn my kids against me since i wreck this daY I AM ALONE MY KIDS I SM GOINGMTO LOSE THEM ICAN'T

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i'm confused nothing makes ses we had time alone from the kids he went out alone tp call me to say he is devils decipoles.the kids got home and their stuff needs to be done i didnt eat in days and he makes more dirty dishews than actuqal food just mess i have ro cleqan.,iiiihave no one to go to he took my mother my kidsarebeing lied to leaving here would be th3e nbest. my eyebrowis split openiwish i had moneytonott i try being everyone but i am not even myself. i'm scared they turn my kids against me since i wreck this daY I AM ALONE MY KIDS I SM GOINGMTO LOSE THEM ICAN'T
Scatty, clearly you are in crisis mode. Is there someone you can call? Friend, family? If not, please call your crisis hotline or get your ass to the ER. Please.
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Agreed.

Scatty,

You know you are in crisis.

You know you need help or you wouldn't be here.

We can't give you the level of help you need.

You want your kids to be safe. Your state of mind is not good for them. You won't lose them if you do the right thing....

Call a friend or crisis or GO TO THE ER.

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Scatty, I hope you went to the ER or called a friend. When you can, check in with us so we know how you are.

Your man is a good man---it sounds like the two of you are having some med problems or some kind of episode. I hope you're okay.

sympathetically,

olga

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didn't mean to worry anyone here i don't remember writing that I dont know why they took my kids,spouse wont answer his phone,trac him down at my moms now she involved i think the cops just left i dont know why this happend. i cant trust them or myself. i just need somweonw here but not them. i call old friend he would worry too much but he understand but i have noone who understnad here not even me what is goin on

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Scatty - please go to the ER or call your friend or both. It sounds like you are having trouble thinking clearly and understanding what is happening. I don't know if you're having a mood swing as well as being severely upset but you need to get help.

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Scatty, thanks for checking in. I think it's a good idea to call your friend, and I hope you've already done that.

If you have meds in the house, ask your friend to read the bottles and make sure you are taking the doses you are supposed to take.

Do you think you forgot to take some and maybe going off your meds caused a problem? If your friend can't come, please PLEASE either call your pdoc or go to the ER. Don't stay home by yourself.

You'll get it all straightened out, wait and see. But you need some help right now.

Keep checking in with us, too.

olga

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didn't mean to worry anyone here i don't remember writing that I dont know why they took my kids,spouse wont answer his phone,trac him down at my moms now she involved i think the cops just left i dont know why this happend. i cant trust them or myself. i just need somweonw here but not them. i call old friend he would worry too much but he understand but i have noone who understnad here not even me what is goin on

If the children are in protective custody for now, let your mother handle the legal stuff. At the moment, ER sounds like the fastest way to get some stability back, long enough to see your doctor.

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scatty,

If the children are safe, then take this time to contact your pdoc or go for a psych eval at the hospital.

Over here, as long as a bed is open, we have whats called lcrs or licesened crisis residential services. It's staffed by rns to do the meds and by trained workers. If being in a hospital right now is not an option for whatever reason, u could see if that is available.

I don't think anyone here understands clearly whats happened and we know you're doing the best you can, but you are in need of some kind of crisis help.

As per olgas requests, many members will be keeping an eye on you. I know that right now you may be physically alone, but many of us are here at the boards hoping you are ok.

Please check in with an update as soon as you can.

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still confused thought i was dead until a little while ago. no one would pick up phone. i thought either i or them or everyone haD DIED. kept waking up not knowing anything, the confusion so horrible. likke a bad scary acid trip. i was crying for the past how many hours thinking my kids were dead too. mom and spouse enjoy ignoring my calls, i forgot to come here there are good people here. i cant trust them, i keave message to mom saying crying please tell me if my kids and dave are o.k. i guess its a game foir them toi ignore just a quwation if my FUCKING kids are alive it aint like i fucking enjoy this hellll thye hid out at my mmoms while i cried and resisted the voices and the taunts to just kill mysefl already

now dave on his way over he was surprised i would weant to see him? I guess i am scary my kids were scared and i am the monsater that made them scqared in their own home. honestly if i knew i had a fucked up brain i would ve never had kids those poor kids i have led them into a life of hell have to go checking in someplace tomorow. sorry for everything

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I guess i am scary my kids were scared and i am the monsater that made them scqared in their own home. honestly if i knew i had a fucked up brain i would ve never had kids those poor kids i have led them into a life of hell have to go checking in someplace tomorow. sorry for everything
Well you're sounding a little bit more coherent. Are you saying you are going inpatient tomorrow? Is your hubby coming home tonight? Are you safe with him?

Lots of questions I know, but I worry.

Scatty, you did not ask to be mentally ill. The best thing you can do for your kids is get the help you need. All my kids ever want/ed from me was for me to be mentally/emotionally healthy and, in my case, clean and sober. Get help, get better and the rest with your kids will fall into place. Honest.

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Hi, scatty. Poor baby---sounds like you were having a rough time there and I'm not sure why Dave isn't telling you what's going on. If you still feel confused when you see him, PLEASE go to the hospital. It sounds like you need to get a little more stable and then you'll hear about what really happened.

Scatty, your kids know that that you love them. You've been a good mom. Even people without any MI issues can screw things up with their kids. But you can also get it all straightened out. Get your meds straightened out and the confusion will lift.

Come back and talk to us again. We care about what happens to you.

olga

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the best thing for your kids is to see you dealing with your MI. i hope you get straightened around ASAP so you can talk to them and explain what happened. i also hope you figure out exactly WHAT happened here. it sounds horrible.

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scatty,

When I had my kids, I lost it around them a couple of times. They didn't understand what was going on at the time, but honestly, I didn't either.

It's not your fault. Just like it wasn't mine. But my kids have recovered mostly from it. I know they will carry the fear from seeing their mom out of control, but I can't redo any of that. I carry a lot of guilt for that. But I am/was ill.

I knew in the moments that I was crazy I needed to reach out before I hurt myself or them. And I did.

Please do the same.

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To my dear scatty:

despite whatever maybe happening - you are a good person. i want you to remember that.

i know its a "slow" time on CB right now with the new year activities. but please check in when you can. we all love you and care about you.

I hope you are getting some help from your friend. and that whatever happened becomes clear.

please take care of yourself. and be gentle with yourself, too.

I hope on all hopes of the universe that you are in a safe place.

extending my virtual hand if you would like to hold it.

much love,

db

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