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I cut myself


Guest B

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so i cut myself. nobody knows i do it because i hide it. my friends have seen my cuts a few times but ive always given some excuse, and although they might not believe it, they dont ask questions. why i cut myself is a mixture of alot of feelings. im usually very angry or depgressed but everytime i always have this overwhelming hate for myself, and truth betold i do hate myself. everything about who i am and my entire life i hate. im not here to ask for help from anyone and i dont really wanna hear the, "you should talk to someone u trust about it". i just wanted someone to know and not ever have to face that person in real life.

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Hey, B.

I understand wanting to tell somebody. I hope you feel a little bit of relief in telling.

You are among people who get it, really. There are people on here who have cut, or others like me who have just thought about it, or hurt ourselves in different ways.

I'm sorry that you hate yourself so much. That sort of sadness and anger must be really hard to deal with on your own, i'm glad you came here so at least you can tell somebody. I really don't think you deserve all that hate you are putting on yourself.

I don't know much about your life- i'm guessing you are young- but just know that there is hope that things can get better. You won't always feel this bad.

How long have you felt sad and angry for?

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so i cut myself. nobody knows i do it because i hide it. my friends have seen my cuts a few times but ive always given some excuse, and although they might not believe it, they dont ask questions. why i cut myself is a mixture of alot of feelings. im usually very angry or depgressed but everytime i always have this overwhelming hate for myself, and truth betold i do hate myself. everything about who i am and my entire life i hate. im not here to ask for help from anyone and i dont really wanna hear the, "you should talk to someone u trust about it". i just wanted someone to know and not ever have to face that person in real life.

I realize that you do not want to tell anyone. I know the feeling. It is private. BUT, there is no way to get better unless you face your demons. There are better and more healthy ways to cope with stressors. Self-injury is more often than not a substitute for proper coping mechanism that some people just innately have. people who SI, on the other hand, have to acquire those skills. It is important to, because not only is cutting a faulty coping mechanism, but it is also something that turns into an addiction for many many people.

You are putting yourself through external pain in order to try to reach that internal pain nagging at you. The only way to *really* get to that source is therapy. I am not saying this to sound preachy.

I understand. I have been a cutter for 10 years. I would not wish the struggle on my enemy.

At some point, though, you need to seek help. I just want you to understand that. It is what is in your best interest.

Be well and be good to yourself.

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  • 1 month later...

So i originally posted this thread, i dont remember when it was but until tonight i hadnt cut myself since. Idk what to say really. This time i cut myself and i really wanted to do it bad, to die. And in truth it scares me a bit, because i seem to be getting worse. everytime i cut myself, i do more and cut deeper, and i know one of these times im gonna cut too deep. idk i guess its what i want anyway. i've kept my emotions inside and to myself for so long i dont know how to let them out anymore. I dont let anyone know what im really feeling and sometimes i really wish i could. Like i said i just dont know how to anymore. All i know is that when things get to be to much a knife seems to be a good outlet. Even as im sitting here i can feel the pain of my fresh wounds and i want more. I guess this time i am asking for help, because i guess i know that if i dont change it's only going to get worse.

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You've made an awesome first step in seeking out some help. We've all done this before, the first couple of steps are the scariest.

Are you in high school? what country to do you live in (you don't have to say, we aren't stalking you, just the seeking help in say, Iraq probably differs to Australia/USA/Canada)

I'm so sorry you are hurting so badly. It doesn't have to be this way. There's hope.

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Cutting is addictive-the more you do it the more you want to do it.

I know it's really embarrassing, but you are probably going to have to get some outside professional help. The bright side is that good help can actually make you feel amazingly better about yourself and about life.

If you don't mind me asking, what do you think has led you to hate yourself so much?

(the ever-inquisitive) snotty.

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Ok well, since there are multiple people asking questions im gonna answer them all in this one post. First thanks for caring, you dont even know me and you have left posts that seem like ur genuinly interested in my well being. Im 22 from illinois. To karuna yes my wounds are clean, they usually heal within a couple weeks but leave scars for much longer. I dont know how long ive felt this way now. Its been for quite a while ive always been kind of an introvert and like i said in my last post i have a problem opening up about my problems. As to what has made me hate myself. There are things that i do like about myself, but when i look in the mirror and really examine my life there is a lot of hate there for who i am. Cutting isnt my only outlet so it doesnt happen alot, like every day. I workout everyday and that normally keeps me pretty much level. It all just gets to be too much some days and i just feel like hurting myself. Also it was asked if there was an adult i could trust to talk to. I really dont want people to know, but at the same time i sorta wish people would take notice to the cuts and realize how much im really hurting. Im just really good at hiding my real emotions from the world.

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