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and is the wellbutrin doing it for you? is it helping? i know meds aren't the only answer in treatmen`t of bpd but i know they are a HUGE start...so tell me more about your experiences with wellbutrin. thanks... (eta: i took wellbutrin briefly in 95 after my boyfriend killed himself. i hallucinated a tad and was severely affected with PTSD...no big surprise. i went off the wellbutrin due to the hallucinations but i wonder now if it may help me...)

i've been re-reading 'thru the looking glass' and another book on bpd and i am convinced this is my primary dx. totally. so yeah. please go easy on me guys...this is not an easy one to live with or deal with for me or for anyone involved in trying to live/converse/deal with me. yes i DO need sympathy and i need results/therapy too. but i don't do well (as most bpd sufferers will agree) with criticism. if you don't have bpd then you can't possibly understand how it feels to us when you come down on us and rip us a new asshole for not going perfectly along w/ what our shrinks say to do or not to do or in acting right re. taking care of ourselves. everything in our bpd minds/hearts says rebel, fight, react...question. just a suggestion folks. and btw i don't need your flames from my expression on this, thank you very much. i need to be able to say this in a safe space and i regard bpd forums as MY safe space. there are similarities to bp but bpd is in and of itself a very unique disorder. i don't know what my point is but i am just trying to say that if you are self righteous and condemning and cold-AND you are NOT bpd, don't bother replying to my posts. thank you very much.

onto the wellbutrin discussion...............................tell me more.

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Hi MM,

I took wellbutrin about 6-7 years ago for about 4 weeks. It made my thinking very scarey and I felt like someone else. I barely made it 4 weeks and stopped taking it. For me it was a nightmare. I moved on to effexor which worked very well for me after that until I started drinking again about 3 years ago. Nothing works during abusive alcohol usage and for some reason it never came back after a year of sobriety. Moved on to pristiq and BP dx. Whoopee!

Good luck.

Gracie

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Moodymama.

First of all, I have recovered from BPD and I know very well what it is like.

You will find that the aim of crazyboards to support people in their recovery from their illnesses, by giving them information and advice. It is not a place for unconditional warm fuzzy support of foolish courses of action. If we feel that you are posting about the fact that are doing something detrimental to your physical and mental health, we will point this out to you in clear and frank terms. We are here to advise and educate you, not to hand hold and encourage you in self destruction.

Having BPD is difficult. It is not a license to act in self destructive ways without someone criticizing you. If you don't want criticism, don't post things that are likely to invite it. I moderate this BPD forum and I will not let BPD become an excuse for sufferers to do whatever the hell they like and not be challenged.

I think that you have things you need to talk to a medical professional about. Please go and do so.

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if you don't have bpd then you can't possibly understand how it feels to us when you come down on us and rip us a new asshole for not going perfectly along w/ what our shrinks say to do or not to do or in acting right re. taking care of ourselves.

No one has. Yet. However, you are digging yourself a fairly wide and deep hole for yourself; it's only a matter of time until you provoke any of a number of people to see just how much of what will fit.

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Im on wellbutrin (for now at least) The first time it took it, it was really activating and gave me like crazy energy. Then it sort of settled out and now I dont notice a boost at all. It really helped the 'stay in bed for a week' aspect of my depression but did nothing for the impulses and mood swings that I would associate with BPD.

Here is a link to some medicines that have been studied with BPD. When I go back to my pdoc we are going to look at trying some of these. Also if you google the drug (like type in abilify and borderline personality disorder) It will usually bring up the studies.

List of meds

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guess it just doesn't work for me when people are so...i don't know, to me it is cold. you can be caring and educational at the same time... it is possible. i'm not so sick that i can't see that is possible. i've seen it from others... but i'm not seeing it from a lot of you. whatever. that is fine. your deal, not mine.

i decided wellbutrin is not the med for me after my appt w/ pRN today. she said its not a good one for mamas who nurse. we will stay on the lamictal only go down to the 25 mg and see what happens. if the rash gets worse, she said to go off the med entirely, to stop it immediately. otherwise we will go up even slower... it could be that it was from a hand lotion i used that my mother has...i used it twice. maybe my body didn't like it. or maybe it is the med. we shall see...

i will try not to be so hypersensitive although i didn't feel i was being so. i DO need others to be warm and fuzzy AS they are informing me of things i want to know about or need to know. like i said, it IS possible to be both. ice queendom doesn't go over well w/ bpd's and i don't care what anyone says...its damn hard to get even better when 'friends' and professionals are like that. anyway...enough said. now onto other things...lets let this be, please.

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From The Rules:

This isn't your usual support site. Frankly, we think most of the so-called support sites out there suck. That's why we have our own. You won't find that your every post is responded to with feigned warm fuzziness and cyberhugs. Frankly, we think cyberhugs suck.

A lot of other sites place great importance on making sure people are not offended or "triggered." We don't. With reasonable exceptions such as the PTSD board, we don't do a lot of walking on eggshells around here. Everyone is encouraged to say what they need to say and not worry about what effect it may have on others. We do have a trigger warning feature which people are free to use if they so desire, but its use is not required.

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You are in the wrong place if you are looking for warm and fuzzy. From the user agreement: "This isn't your usual support site. Frankly, we think most of the so-called support sites out there suck. That's why we have our own. You won't find that your every post is responded to with feigned warm fuzziness and cyberhugs. Frankly, we think cyberhugs suck."

Being both caring and educational is definitely our deal. It's not the same thing as being warm and fuzzy.

Edit: cross-posted w Maddy.

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Which part of carefully reading your posts, thinking through responses, and then writing them out qualifies as "ice queendom?"

Going through your post sentence by sentence to make sure I read it correctly? Trying to reconcile the internal conflicts in what you've written so that it makes sense? Carefully choosing my words so as to answer the actual question, while not feeding into the self-destructive behavior? Giving you an answer that respects you as an independent adult? Taking care to write in a coherent manner? Coming back, carefully reading through the sulky vituperative response you've written, and then carefully responding to the actual core question again?

Where's the ice queen part?

Or is it the last one? Would it be less 'ice queen' if I did respond in kind? Well... I reckon if I did that, I'd be accused of being a big big meanie, based on other threads I'm following.

I am generally pretty fucking good at being simultaneously caring and informative. (Or so my boss and colleagues tell me. I'll go with their appraisal, thanks; they've worked with me for years now.) I'm also crazy enough to know by now that caring and support involve furnishing honesty without unnecessary cruelty. I could feed you a line of candyfloss bullshit, sure, and I could make it sound really, really good. But that's not very caring. That's just telling you something pretty that doesn't do you any good.

If you read any Celtic tales/mythology, they talk about a land of Faerie (various spellings, someone more knowledgeable will correct me) where humans occasionally are led. They think they are eating sumptuous banquets, wearing fine clothes, living in lovely palaces. But they stagger out of the woods, raving mad, having been living on twigs, wearing rags. (Yeah, maybe they were manic/psychotic...) That 'glamour' that the Sidhe could cast was a deadly thing. A person could starve to death, thinking all the while that s/he was eating the finest meal ever.

I'm not a fucking fairy princess. If I give you a grilled cheese sandwich, you can be pretty sure it's an actual grilled cheese sandwich. I have no glamour.

You want glamour? Well, this is pretty much the wrong place.

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I can appreciate both sides to this.... Yeah, CB is not a warm, fuzzy fluffy-bunny ((HUGS)) kinda place, and I must say I like it for that. I can however appreciate what Moodymama is going through as I have had several people close to me with Borderline Personality Disorder and it is a rough trot, particularly in the early days of treatment. So given that this is the kind of place where we can speak freely, without bunnies & hugs, I'm going to go out on a limb and stand up on this one...

It is very hard to ask someone who is at the early stages of treatment for BPD to just up & change their whole way of responding to criticism & perceived rejection. There's a whole heap of work that needs to be done to achieve that. There is also the issue that a lot of people including many psychiatric professionals I have known have something of a lack of patience with borderline sufferers, and particularly find that communication can be frustrating & very charged. I have experienced that with my BPD near-and-dear myself... it can take more patience & compassion than I can sometimes muster, too.

While I may agree on the whole lamictal thing, that's over on the anti-convulsants board. On the BPD board, I would hope that people with BPD could be cut a bit of slack for struggling with their illness especially if they're still away off having it under control. I think Moodymama has made a very clear plea for that. Certainly, BPD is not an excuse - I agree with Karuna there, BUT it does complicate things like perceiving meaning in communication, and can cause what to the rest of us seems like 'unnecessary' oversensitivity, particularly in the days before someone has spent a long time in getting it under control. I think Moodymama is making the first steps in using this board to help, she may have made a few blunders along the way sure but I think she deserves a bit more slack.

My two cents. Now back to Wellbutrin & BPD... where was everyone?

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But of course.

This book has a fairly good review of different antidepressant options.

In general, though, Wellbutrin just doesn't seem to be one of the best fits for many folk with BPD. Doesn't do much for impulsivity and lability. It's a little too activating for comfort for many people with BPD, at least initially. It's contraindicated in bulimia, which is comorbid with borderline PD often enough that prescribers are cautious, or at least do some extra screening.

And, as your psyNP said, not the first pick for nursing mothers. Or... I guess... nursing fathers. Uh. Yeah. Lactating people.

Undoubtedly someone will show up on here and say it was the best drug ever for them, but this is definitely not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing. Especially while breastfeeding. Wakes up the kiddos.

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MM you just have to realize that this is the internet and you cant control what anyone is going to say.

I am saying this not to side with anyone because like Generica I see both sides. Its just that by merit of making a topic on a message board you open yourself up to all kinds of things. So maybe take a break and just blog for a while, you can make that your safe space until you are ready to take whatever comes. I dont mean that snarky or to sound like an exile its just that I know at one point I was so hypersensitive to everything that was said to me that I just had to take a break.

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Undoubtedly someone will show up on here and say it was the best drug ever for them, but this is definitely not a one-size-fits-all kind of thing.

Especially while breastfeeding. Wakes up the kiddos.

I'd worry more about the seizure risk from any bupropion metabolites ending up in the breast milk. I don't know if that's been studied, and if not, that's one med to stay away from.

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It has been looked at, because there's a lot of interest in anything that will help with both postpartum depression AND smoking cessation.

Quick review here (scroll down) but do notice the disclosures. Pardon my pharma cynicism.

Hale's take on it (p. 131 of the 2008 edition): may reduce milk supply but unverified/anecdotal only; very small amount is passed on; don't use in mothers/infants with known seizure disorders and don't go above standard dosing (standard caution), otherwise in low risk category; may cause some excessive wakefulness in infants but unverified/anecdotal only.

It's a very small amount that's passed on.

There are 2 case reports of possible seizures in infants that I found, the one cited in the PP writeup above, and another one that I couldn't pull up in fulltext from home.

There may be more, I didn't hunt more than 2-3 ways for it.

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It's a [link=http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14985597?ordinalpos=4&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_DefaultReportP

anel.Pubmed_RVDocSum" target="_blank]very[/link] small amount that's passed on.

There are 2 case reports of possible seizures in infants that I found, the one cited in the PP writeup above, and another one that I couldn't pull up in fulltext from home.

There may be more, I didn't hunt more than 2-3 ways for it.

It's not a very large risk even with the recommended-dose XL formulation in an adult. It's just that I can imagine those 2 sets of parents feeling so frightened, miserable, and guilty when that minute risk becomes a reality... it's hard for me to say "go for it" even though Wellbutrin was the most effective antidepressant I've been on.

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It's just that I can imagine those 2 sets of parents feeling so frightened, miserable, and guilty when that minute risk becomes a reality... it's hard for me to say "go for it" even though Wellbutrin was the most effective antidepressant I've been on.

In this case, the point appears to be moot, as MM's psyNP is advising against it, and as it's not generally recognized as one of the preferred ADs for BPD from what I could find.

It's the classic breastfeeding/medication conflict. The mother may feel so frightened, miserable, and guilty without treatment that the minute risk is outweighed by the present reality. That's often when the "formula doesn't constitute child abuse" talk comes into things. Hale's been trying to bring some rational discussion to the table for several years now so that breastfeeding can continue, when the mother wants to do that, based on the available information.

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i decided wellbutrin is not the med for me after my appt w/ pRN today. she said its not a good one for mamas who nurse.
How old is the baby and how long do you intend to nurse?
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