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Are you ever happy?


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In the last 5 years? I have felt blah, because I had everything in my life carefully metered out to avoid stressing myself and panicking- and that gets dull.

Lately I am giving up on that, and I am starting to feel "human" sorta, though not quite all there.

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My therapist likes to remind me that the other side of sorrow and pain is joy and awe, or something like that. I forget exactly how he says it, but it has the ring of truth and I like it. I can say that it's true in my case. I don't like the term "happy", but when I'm not deeply depressed, I can experience joy and awe.

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my happiness feels really superficial. like you feel good about a certain event, but deep down i am not content or at peace with my life - and that to me is what needs to be dealt with to be happy.

my mood swings (i believe) alter the intensity of my feelings, but dont necessarily totally change them. For instance, while manic i get *really* excited and overjoyed at small things, that right now i might feel a flicker of interest about. When depressed I just feel intensely more unhappy about the low-grade discontent feeling that i have right now. It makes it hard, sometimes i feel that perhaps i'm depressed all the time. (i am not).

I am working on trying to be more content with my life. I think that will help me.

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I think happy is the same as everything else...you won't know what it is unless you feel its opposite as well. I have trouble distinguishing happy from high.

So, for me happiness is a fleeting thing and it seems thats the way its supposed to be. I think I will be happy in a general sense, though, if I accept that I will have some depression, some anger, some of a lot of other negative emotions along with the happy, joy and silly. Silly is my favorite thing. ;)

I hate ellipses and I can't stop using them...help.

Gracie

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My AA sponsor just sent me this in an email. This touches me and gives me joy and happiness. Gracie.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A female humpback whale had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines.

She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat.

She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the Faralon Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed for help.

Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her -- a very dangerous proposition. One slap of the tail could kill a rescuer.

They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.

When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles.

She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, nudged them, and pushed gently, thanking them.

Some say it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time, and he will never be the same.

May you, all of those you love, be so fortunate...

To be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude.

I pass this on to you, my friend, in the same spirit.

Hugs

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I would have to agree with not knowing (sometimes) if I was happy or hypomanic. I question it from time to time - esp if I have been giddy.

There are quiet happy moments where I feel "full" emotionally, for instance when I watch my dogs chase each other around the house, watch hummingbirds eat at my hummingbird feeders or play peek a boo with a baby at the market.

When it comes to physical things, my "stuff" then I am never ever happy. There's always something I want better, new, more & now.

Coming off of a manic or hypomanic run I always question if my happiness was real, because it was so intense at the time. Just like the things I buy when I am manic...and later I find out are sooo freaking NOT important. But the things that are real...well, those are the things that truly make me happy.

God I sound like...all sappy.

But yes, to answer your question I do get happy sometimes.

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Hi MM

When I'm not depressed I'm happy. When I'm not happy I'm depressed. I guess this is characteristic of manic-depression. I really don't get many "flat" periods... and I think in a way I would rather have it this way than always feeling "balanced" - if that is just a euphemism for feeling flat. Note that one can never truly know what another person is feeling so what means happy for me might mean something entirely different for you. Maybe your mediocrity is actually relatively happy compared to someone else.

xSarah

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I feel all manner of feelings and always question whether they're true feelings or fake feelings and sometimes I think it's intrinsically bipolar to say, "WAs that a real feeling? or was that caused by mania or depression?"

When I feel sad, I feel like I've always been sad.

When I'm "Happy" I feel like I've always been happy. (I hesittate to use the word happy because I think it's an elusive feeling anyway and not a state of being that we should always want to be in anyway.)

When I hate my husband, I feel like it's so obvious that he's always been an ugly motherfucking jackass and how could I ever have thought I loved him?

aNd so forth. is this making sense?

I'm in a hurry but the original post so resonated with me. I gotta go. both babies are finally asleep and me and hubby (who, yes, I do love) are going to try to finish hellboy II. Which would make me, however temporarily, very--if not happy--at least satisifed.

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Well, I kinda struggle with this a bit on account of being probably alexithymic (can't talk about emotions, but that's the 1 sec version). I definitely recognise being 'Not Happy', but I can't honestly admit to remembering 'Happy'... Does that halp?

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Yes. I've experienced happiness.

I've also experienced grief, sorrow, silliness, sadness, joy, guilt, surprise, anger, relief, etc..

I don't think happiness is a mood. It's an emotion and emotions don't last long.

Just my opinion.

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I feel all manner of feelings and always question whether they're true feelings or fake feelings and sometimes I think it's intrinsically bipolar to say, "WAs that a real feeling? or was that caused by mania or depression?"

When I feel sad, I feel like I've always been sad.

When I'm "Happy" I feel like I've always been happy. (I hesittate to use the word happy because I think it's an elusive feeling anyway and not a state of being that we should always want to be in anyway.)

That's exactly what it's like for me too.

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I love the whale story. It moves me in a way I can't put words to. To say I feel happy that they saved her and she responded is fluff. the feelings are complex and include deep sadness and I can't even begin to decipher them. The story makes me cry- for her, for them, for me, for something much bigger.

I think I can't relate to the word. Happy. It's something I might say when I'm high or giddy. Always transient and not real.

I told myself over and over when I was a very distressed child that I was Happy, and it's loaded with desperation.

sometimes feeling good has a sense of groundedness or substance or something [and joy and awe would fit in nicely here], but more often it's like suddenly coming up for air and is a huge relief like a giant weight lifted. When not so dramatic, more like contentment or just humming along, it's always in the context of a fleeting light in the darkness. Like the darkness is just being held back for a while, and I'd better not look at it.

I read a quote once from a woman with Bipolar: "I don't expect to be happy. I just don't want to be depressed".

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