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Hey all,

Just stopping by to say that I had my first day at my new job with NO panic attacks, NO fuckups (well, except for two on the register that ANYONE on their first day could have made, and no horrible feelings of self-doubt! Even when my housemate came in and tried to confuse me by giving me less than he owed and denying it, then smiling and saying he just wanted to see if I caught it. (I'm starting to think that all of this plauging and teasing may just be flirting, which is kind of..ick, but anyway...) My bosses seem to like me, they're pretty chill.

No, I can't go back to school yet but you know what? That's where I am. I'm at peace with where I am, and I'm going to save up enough money so that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN. I look at where I was last year and see a world of difference. I think alot of this is the lexapro BUT most of it is coping skills I was able to acquire whilst on the lexapro. I still feel horribly guilty about being so "crazy" for so long, and most of the guilt I feel is in regards to the states that some friends and various mental health professionals saw me in, and sometimes I feel weird or bad because to them I'll "always" be that person, so like, in Kiekegaardian philosophy you also exist as the idea of yourself that another person has, so, in some form, I'll always be that person, which means I'll always be a loser, even if I win. But I'm trying not to dwell on the guilt.

Hope you all are doing well, and if not, I hope you all had some respite and relaxation over the holidays.

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Oh, fuck Kierkergaard. What's a dead philosopher know about you anyway.

It's GREAT to hear good news from this quadrant of Crazy Town. You survived the Christmas ordeal and now you are a woman on a mission. Rock on.

Keep up the good work.

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Good! I'm relieved that you're out of the house of horrors.

If that's your housemate's idea of flirting... maybe you should unflirtatiously shut off the hot water valve to his bathroom?

I'm so glad you're doing better. Hope the drum machine worked out.

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Hey all,

Just stopping by to say that I had my first day at my new job with NO panic attacks, NO fuckups (well, except for two on the register that ANYONE on their first day could have made, and no horrible feelings of self-doubt! Even when my housemate came in and tried to confuse me by giving me less than he owed and denying it, then smiling and saying he just wanted to see if I caught it. (I'm starting to think that all of this plauging and teasing may just be flirting, which is kind of..ick, but anyway...) My bosses seem to like me, they're pretty chill.

No, I can't go back to school yet but you know what? That's where I am. I'm at peace with where I am, and I'm going to save up enough money so that this NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN. I look at where I was last year and see a world of difference. I think alot of this is the lexapro BUT most of it is coping skills I was able to acquire whilst on the lexapro. I still feel horribly guilty about being so "crazy" for so long, and most of the guilt I feel is in regards to the states that some friends and various mental health professionals saw me in, and sometimes I feel weird or bad because to them I'll "always" be that person, so like, in Kiekegaardian philosophy you also exist as the idea of yourself that another person has, so, in some form, I'll always be that person, which means I'll always be a loser, even if I win. But I'm trying not to dwell on the guilt.

Hope you all are doing well, and if not, I hope you all had some respite and relaxation over the holidays.

Wow. Fantastic!

Actually, you're the winner and survivor. You had to make a huge effort to cope, to learn new ways of living, to deal with medication. It's an illness, not a slur on your personality. I am sure you know this, but just wanted to remind you that you need to pat yourself on the back. MI is a f###ing ordeal so much of the time.

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ooooh, it's so nice to see someone else here in Stable Land. i had a brief dip for a couple of weeks, but that was the only episode in about 3 years! it soooo totally rocks to enjoy stability. i'm glad someone else is here on the island with me.

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