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Emotional and Verbal Abuse


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I will talk to the other moderaters about it.

My first thought it that verbal and emotional abuse is not necessarily a mental health issue, it occurs in all walks of life to mentally ill and mentally healthy people. We do have forum for family issues, relationship issues, work issues and for other relationship issues with people, which I imagine the topic would go under.

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Yeah, and there is also a PTSD forum if you are talking heavy duty abuse from childhood or something.

Just my 2 cents, but I wouldn't encourage a forum where people who are abusive could be encouraged, for whatever gain. That shit needs to be taken to the professionals, OUTSIDE.

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Yeah, and there is also a PTSD forum if you are talking heavy duty abuse from childhood or something.

Just my 2 cents, but I wouldn't encourage a forum where people who are abusive could be encouraged, for whatever gain. That shit needs to be taken to the professionals, OUTSIDE.

I think that emotional abuse from childhood which can result in Complex PTSD does belong in the PTSD forum.

And as a 'victim' of such abuse, I shudder at the thought of abusers having a chance to say.....anything.....here.

just my not-so-humble reactive opinion.

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IMO emotional and verbal abuse is definitely PTSD material and it should be discussed in the main PTSD forum without another forum required. I suffered from "ePTSD" (as I call it) for decades and it really screwed me up. The only worse things I can think of are sexual abuse or intense, regular physical abuse (though I'm not sure, having had neither of those two).

I don't mind setting verbally abusive individuals straight, either. Honestly, I hope someone does that to me someday (fully, that is, I'm partially recovered by my tdoc and not to mention CB itself).

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The only worse things I can think of are sexual abuse or intense, regular physical abuse (though I'm not sure, having had neither of those two).

I hate this "hierarchy of suffering" idea. I don't really think emotional abuse is in any way less nasty than physical or sexual abuse, except in the sense that physical/sexual abuse often come pre-packaged with emotional abuse as well, and even then it really sucks to think that some abuse is somehow "worse" than other abuse.

No offense, Herrfous, just needed to say that.

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The only worse things I can think of are sexual abuse or intense, regular physical abuse (though I'm not sure, having had neither of those two).

I hate this "hierarchy of suffering" idea. I don't really think emotional abuse is in any way less nasty than physical or sexual abuse, except in the sense that physical/sexual abuse often come pre-packaged with emotional abuse as well, and even then it really sucks to think that some abuse is somehow "worse" than other abuse.

No offense, Herrfous, just needed to say that.

I don't see it so much as a "hierarchy of suffering" as maybe degrees of injury. Kind of akin to a burn injury of the skin. Meh.

Having to deal with the fall-out of all three, I would have been much better off if my dad had kept his hands off me in all manner of speaking and just limited his abuse to verbal and emotional.

That's just my 2 cents worth.

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Would one mode of abuse delivery be better than two? I think that might be true. Is emotional abuse abuse lite?

If my advisor had repeatedly hit me, or any of the other students she selected to be her special projects, I think the social and emotional outcomes for me and them would have been very different.

I read this and it reminds me of the years I spent trying to get therapeutic help for what she did to me and the aftermath, and the years I spent obsessing about her and about what happened and why I couldn't get help for this thing that fundamentally altered my ability to trust and to have relationships, and left me feeling for years that no matter what the hammer was going to fall, especially if I stopped expecting it to, and that would be it. The environment she had created me would turn out to be the real environment - everything else would have been temporary and illusory, and now everything would narrow down into a dark tunnel until I killed myself, or, worse, I would simply have to live like that forever.

And I would be doing it to myself, for her convenience. So she would neither have to spend the effort, nor be responsible. It would be my entirely voluntary choice and any negative effects I experienced from her attempts to "fix" me would be optional on my part.

Is this better or worse than what's happened to others on this thread? I don't know. I'm not you. But it hurt like fuck and the absolute worst part was that it wasn't like REAL abuse...she never stepped over a visible line...so I must have done it all to myself, or it must have just been an unpleasant situation with a difficult advisor, we've all had bad bosses, right?

I don't think mode of delivery can be taken to indicate degre of damage. Degree of damage is determined by how effective your abuser is at hurting you.

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Trying to compare suffering is like comparing apples and oranges... neither is better or worse, they have different flavors, different compositions, different ramifications.

That is what makes each of our stories unique.

What gives us a commonality is the experience of suffering itself. The here and now experience of the aftermath of hurt.

*takes own advice*

Peace,

Woo

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I don't think mode of delivery can be taken to indicate degre of damage. Degree of damage is determined by how effective your abuser is at hurting you.

Amen to that. My mother never really hit me and I was never sexually abused by anyone as a child, but the damage done to me by the emotional abuse has affected my entire life and all my relationships - lovers and friends. I have horrific problems letting anyone get too close to me because in my experience, all they do then is use the information to hurt you and they're all going to leave in the end, aren't they? Or at least that's what I learned. I also learned that I had no personal space and that it would always been invaded and my most secret thoughts and private letters would be read. At 41 years of age, I STILL hide my diary even when it's just me in the house!

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Abuse is abuse. Hurt is hurt. It's all shitty, it's all wrong and it all leaves people broken and wounded.

M.O, no matter what board you choose to post on, we believe that emotional and verbal abuse hurt you, and we're sorry.

I'm pretty sure a board for abusers would be fun for us to bash, but not helpful in any way.

cheers.

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I don't think mode of delivery can be taken to indicate degre of damage. Degree of damage is determined by how effective your abuser is at hurting you.
Yeah, I would go along with that.

In a group of *victims* a word I detest and I don't like survivor much better, I think it is far more beneficial to the individual as well as the group to identify rather than compare.

When we say "pain is relative," I don't think it's relative to each others' experience. I think it's relative to one's own experience. If that makes any sense.

Anyway, I guess I've gone off topic, again!

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Saying something that may or may not want to be acknowledged...

I assume there are both persons who have been harmed and persons who have done harming on these boards.

I think it's a false sense of security to think "there are no abusers here". Statistically improbable.

Particularly given the rates of mental illness in incarcerated populations.

Provided the abusive behavior is no longer happening, people who have harmed others need healing as well as those of us who have been harmed by their actions.

(this is the kind of duality that makes my life difficult sometimes)

PEace,

Wooster

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I think relative to one's own experience is a really good way to put it.

We've supported members who have been or are abusive in doing what they need to stop or to keep from restarting. I think that's an important component of support. Making a forum would draw in a lot of predatory types, I think.

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