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i bought a horse on a whim!


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I bought a baby horse on impulse. I can't afford her. I keep her at a stable where coworkers keep their horses. I've only had her a couple months... SO EMBARRASSED for my coworkers to see they were right about me (stupid to buy baby horse) that I am freaking out. Got myself in a situation I don't see a good way out of. If i try to sell her.... embarrassment and I will MISS HER/grieve the whole horse thing! If I don't... feel stupid and go broke. The self hatred is peaking... I hope this is my peak impulse. Help!

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Yeah, you should sell her. ;) Horses need a lot of training and growing up before they can be ridden. Riding them too young can damage their skeletal structure.

And even "rideable" horses are expensive to maintain. They eat and drink a lot, and their vet bills are very high.

I apologize about the lecture, but horses are a lot of responsibility...

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Why not keep the horse enjoy it's beauty and watch it grow and become big and strong. find someone private or organization to help with upkeep etc in return for the opportunity to also enjoy the horse. Maybe a youth group or home for abused kids etc. it would be good for you and give you a sense of achievenent and boost your self esteem and a sense of

sharing with others. i.m sure you could find someone to help you who would also enjoy the thrill and beauty of co-owning a horse that way you could still have it in your life and also enrich the lives of others.If that doesnt work out sell it. I'm alone and depressed right now and I would get out of the house and help you if you lived near me.

Try homes for unwanted children, the local chapter of the FFA /4-H Club at the local high school etc etc. at least if you keep it in your life and have contact with it during it's lifetime you will know that it is well taken care of and not abused.

This could be something you could be very enthused about and enjoy when you are high and force you to get out of the house when you are low.

Maybe it was meant to be, who knows what adventures this could lead you to.......

Basicly to quote an old cliche,"don't look a gift horse in the mouth" Don't give up immediately rise to the occasion

see what you can do, you may surprise yourself so quit horseing around go gitrdone.

I live in Houston and would love the opportunity,pm me if you need any advice and encouragement cause I've got

alot of time on my hands and nothing to do.

BRIAN

'The"

Space Cowboy

P.S. why be embarassed, who cares what they think !We tend to be too sensitive to what other people think.

@#$% them and the horse they rode in on!lol So cowboy/cowgirl up,dust your self off and get back on that horse!lol

You bought it on an impulse so don't sell it on impulse. Think about it first,enjoy it for a little while,what's your

hurry? Feed it an apple for me. It has already done me some good just talking about it and I'm serious about the help part! Couldn't help throwing in a few Texas cliches for a little jocularity.

adios amigo/amiga

[link=http://www.squidoo.com/horseforums"'>http://www.squidoo.com/horseforums" target="_blank]http://www.squidoo.com/horseforums[/link]

[link=http://www.horseclassified.com/cgi-bin/classifieds/classifieds.cgi" target="_blank]http://www.horseclassified.com/cgi-bin/cla...classifieds.cgi[/link]

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It's very responsible of you to realize that you can't afford to keep the horse. There will be someone who will love to have it and will be able to give it the care and training it needs. There is no disgrace in rectifying a mistake----it's a characteristic of a mature person to recognize an error and do what can be done to fix it.

Good luck and I hope you find a great home for the horse.

olga

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Horses are powerful and dangerous animals. They need a LOT of training, time, and attention. It sounds like your "baby horse" lives in a stall for the most part. That is not natural for a foal, or even a 2 yr old.

I agree that you need to find an excellent home for this baby... research the background of everybody who applies to buy her/him. Don't just take the money and run. Make certain she's going to someone with a ranch or farm with room to roam, ideally.

Call your equestrian vet and ask who might be interested in her breed. Or ask your coworkers. Nobody is going to laugh. They might already be thinking the same thing, taht you are in over your head, and the horse is the one to suffer. Give her a chance at a good healthy life with knowledgeable people who can train her well.

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Hey, surprise, I have opinions. As someone who has horses, and has bought horses while manic, I have some thoughts on this one.

A "baby horse" (foal? yearling? colt? filly?) won't be ready to ride for quite some time. And, of course, it's actually not all about the riding. Just like having a partner isn't all about the sex.

This isn't a 'gift horse.' This is a horse that you're paying for. Monthly. Please. Look that cute little sucker right in his or her expensive greedy little pink mouth. Do not feel embarrassed about helping your horse find a new home if you think this is unrealistic for you right now. A grown horse is an immense investment in time, responsibility, money, time, money, responsibility, money, time, money, and also responsibility. And vet bills. And guilt.

A young horse = 3 times as much.

Knowing when you are past your limits is part of being an adult.

Due to some medical reasons, I'm having to 'board' my horses this winter (keep them at a local facility, not on my property.) It was a painful decision, because I really do not trust anyone else to tend to the guys as I do. But I do suddenly have three more hours per day than I used to.

And I'm only spending 8 hours per week training/working them right now, which is a crushingly LOW amount of time, and I feel very bad about that. It's just been too cold to do more than that, even in the indoor arena down the road. It's usually a minimum of 12 hours per week. I have one adult horse and one young-adult (3-yr-old) right now, and the 3 year old really needs 12 hours per week all by herself. It used to be 20 hours training time per week for the two of them, some riding, mostly groundwork and playing.

And I'm kind of a slacker in the horse department, as it turns out.

If you like or love horses, I suggest this. Find your baby a new home. Then start taking lessons at your stable. See if you can work there part time to offset the cost a little bit, even if the money isn't the issue. Hang out with the good trainer who isn't an ass (there is one, you'll learn who she is from the barn girls very quickly. That's part of why you want to work there.) Maybe you can work out a lease arrangement with someone. After a few years of that... then look at getting a horse. Have the good trainer help find one.

But starting out with a baby is about like planning to learn to drive for the first time... on the freeway at rush hour... on your first ever car... that you're going to build from scratch with only every third page of a Chilton manual... and you've never seen a wrench before in your life. You don't learn together with a foal. That only happens in Disney movies.

The learning curves are totally different - you are developing at different rates.

I feel like a Grade A bitch for saying that. I probably am one. OK, whatever, I am. I just am tired of rehabbing emotionally disturbed horses who had well-meaning owners.

Although I disagree with much of his post, Spaceman's idea of the FFA/4H is a great one, and that might let you have some ongoing contact with your young horse.

Uh, as far as "enjoying while you are high," yeah... no. I've been on a LOT of moonlight rides, and barrel races, and golf courses when I was a teenager jump courses, and so on, while manic. I have a big collection of X-rays I can show you. I try to do that less now.

And as far as forcing you out of the house when you are low? Doesn't work that way either. I'll feed, I'll water, I'll trim feet, I'll scoop the corrals, because otherwise I couldn't face myself in the mirror, and I've just barely managed to keep myself to that point. But I become darkly self-critical regarding my inability to care for my animals to my own standards. So don't count on animals to be your salvation.

As far as stalls... well. I don't do stalls only, because I'm one of those natural horsemanship whackjobs. A foal with a large stall and paddock is OK. As they get bigger, they need turnout, and it's hard to put a foal into a herd. Very few stables run a 'herd' setup, because, as my guys will tell you, it gets rough out there. Still, OP, the minimum acceptable for a 1+ year old should be that s/he is turned out into pasture solo at first to run around and be an idiot for a few hours every day, and that s/he has social contact, even through the fence, with other horses. Eventually s/he can be turned out with a buddy. If s/he's in box stalls only, and is past the "baby" stage in which s/he needs to be still relatively isolated, might want to look around for other options... or go over there every day to arrange to turn the horse out yourself. But it's pretty standard, at least out here in the northwest, for stalls to have large individual paddocks and for stables to have daily turnout time for horses.

Re: your coworkers - Consider these options: Embarrassed in the short term vs. feeling bad over the next, say, 20 years? Horses live a long, long time.

If you say, "Gee, yes, you were right, can you help me find this little guy a home?" I bet they will. And then it will be over.

And then if you say, "I still really like horses. I appreciate your help. Can you hook me up with a lease arrangement?" they probably can. Because they'll respect you so much for the first part - the saying "I'm in over my head" - that things will be much, much easier for you.

If they seem a little hostile/tense right now, it might be because they think you are indeed over your head and they're worried about the horse. Horse people get like that.

If you're mature enough to be worried about this animal's wellbeing, I bet you're mature enough to, as Brian said, cowboy/cowgirl up and gitrdone (?), and go up and talk to your coworkers about this.

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The first sentence continuing to the end of the second paragraph suggest GETTING SOMEONE TO HELP with the upkeep

and care of the horse continuing on to a FFA 4-H ORGANIZATION OR LEASE AGREEMENT which are available on one of the two links I provided.

AWW SHUCKS excuse me for trying to provide a Pro versus con to the horse question as well as just a little positive

light to someone who seems to be a little down. From my humble experience I still believe the 4-H/FFA group would be the best idea as the kids in the program help w/upkeep costs and so forth and the horse could get years and years of love from alot of different kids all the while being supervised by adults, volunteer vets with food being donated by the local feed store etc. This type of program has been perfected by decades of experience by instructors who teach horsemanship!

That being said I see no reason for anyone dissect anyones comments even going as far as to name them personally.

I now see why only a select group make comments on this site and many choose to remain silent . Some of the aforementioned have actually gone as far as to describe themselves very succinctly. As we are all just giving our opinions

why don't we just play nice and let the original poster decide what is right thing to do and leave the oneupmanship to the playground

The advice I have to give to the horse owner is to not make a rash decision do a little research and maybe be able

to visit and share the enjoyment of the horse with others for many years to come. Take a few days and evaluate your options

and then make your decision. If you do decide to sell him/her check out those sites I provided(there are many others)and you shouldn't have any problem.

Good luck

Brian

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That being said I see no reason for anyone dissect anyones comments even going as far as to name them personally.

I now see why only a select group make comments on this site and many choose to remain silent . Some of the aforementioned have actually gone as far as to describe themselves very succinctly. As we are all just giving our opinions

why don't we just play nice and let the original poster decide what is right thing to do and leave the oneupmanship to the playground

Good luck

Brian

Brian, I'm sure the original poster will be interested in reading everyone's comments. Since Silver is a long-time horse person, it is natural ( and kind to the OP) for her to share her expertise on this subject. She said in her post that your suggestion about involving a 4-H or FFA group was a good one. If she didn't agree with every word of the rest of your post, why are you so offended?

All of us here are free to comment on all of the questions posted by members. But if you DO comment, you should be prepared for someone else to come along and disagree with some of your suggestions. That's just the way it works in a forum like Crazyboards. You can't expect that everyone is going to agree with every single thing you write. People disagree with me all the time----I don't see it as a personal attack. It's just a different opinion.

We want all of our members to join in the discussions here, but it should be clear to everyone that no one here has the last word on any subject. There is no "select group". I think you need to develop a little more of a thick skin and not be offended people disagreeing with you.

I'm not being critical of you---I'm trying to express this in a kind way.

olga

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The entire first two paragraphs of my post could be encapsulated into the one thing she agreed upon which is:

FIND SOMEONE TO HELP YOU WITH THE HORSE!!! How can that logically be disagreed with!!!!!!!

Doesn't make sense to me. The poor girl just wanted a little advice about what to do about her horse not a litany of information about how over her head she is in.

My post was short and sweet and positive and stated in laymans terms. period. You can come along and make a different comment if you like but don't shoot down mine in personal terms.

How can someone disagree with a post when most of it was what she agreed was good advice!

GITRDONE?(LARRY THE CABLE GUY)

lets play nice

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Spaceman, with respect, I said that I disagreed with much of it, not that it was wrong, and also said that your FFA/4H idea was great. Ditto on the lease agreement.

I've seen limited success with a lease arrangement for a filly/colt - most people who are interested in leasing want a horse they can ride - and some FFA/4H clubs want the kid to own the horse. I think it depends on the region. I'm not sure why it varies.

Costwise - Feed stores around here aren't donating a lot of feed these days. Maybe they are down in Texas? Up further north they sure aren't. Feed's grown using petro-based fertilizer... and oil prices drove feed costs sky-high. They give a 10% discount to the farm clubs, but the feed stores here had to cut it to a 7.5% discount this winter because of the fuel surcharges for shipping. Oil prices may be falling, but it'll be a while til the fertilizer costs reflect that and then a while longer til the feed costs reflect that drop.

Vets still discount FFA/4H visits, as they always have and, I hope, always will.

Boarding fees sure as hell aren't down.

But, Spaceman, if you've had luck raising a lot of horses while also being crazy, you might have had completely different experiences, so please speak up, because I think those would be valuable for the OP and, well, for me.

The women in my family are generally nuts, and they generally have horses. And they generally have a rough time of things, despite being around horses most of their lives and having a whole ranch infrastructure set up and ready to go. I've found working with horses to be stabilizing (no pun intended) - but only once I started out with level-headed and well-trained adult horses who could teach ME, and then I moved into training and it was a very rocky course.

Support isn't all about being positive, it's about being honest without being cruel or mean. Here's the less than positive part. I'm not going to be Miss Happy Cheerleader about owning horses. My barn requires all owners to spend 1 day a week doing chores. I spent 3 hours this morning hauling bales, chopping ice from troughs, trimming feet, etc., in subzero temps, and although it would be nice to think that this was helpful, it just left me with another frostnipped spot on my cheek and a big bruise on my jaw. It didn't actually improve or stabilize my mood. And it costs me about 2/3 of a mortgage payment a month (um, I have a small house) for all this fun. And I worry about the horses... a LOT.

But the OP might live somewhere warm and pleasant and really like that kind of work, or s/he might be funded such that the barn doesn't draft owners into helping out (actually, it's a philosophic thing at my barn), or whatever.

It's just this. For me it's not just about enjoying the horse's beauty, although that's lovely. And I think that horses need a whole hell of a lot more than love. They need food and education and social structure and a stimulating environment that allows a horse to be a horse - which means being able to move around a lot, chew a lot, and interact with lots of other horses. (This is part of why I spend a lot of time rehabbing horses with equine rescue.) So that's the commitment that I see when I look at a horse. For the next 25+ years, in the case of a foal.

Other people might see something else. I'm kind of enmeshed with my animals.

I think that the OP's comments about the conflicts between the financial reality and the commitment required and the social pressure and the grief are not unique to people who've bought horses during mania, by the way. Seriously, Pachab? I don't know if it helps, but I have non-manic friends who've bought adult horses while completely sober, sane, whatever - and they've found themselves in the same situation down the road. And it sucks. You're right.

Do what you think is right for you and the horse. It sounds like you want to do what's right for the horse, as the horse can't take care of itself, and you know you need to do what's right for you, as you have to take care of yourself. (That doesn't mean what's comfortable for you. Right doesn't equal comfortable all of the time.)

So, Pachab, you know the most about the whole situation. Where does that leave you?

ETA: Spaceman, I know who Larry the Cable Guy is, c'mon, man. I'm just not sure how to spell gitrdone. Actually... I'm still not. ;) Git 'er done? I dunno.)

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ok I get it we're talking semantics here simple versus detailed explanation so we are both saying the same thing sorta

but I do believe short simple and positive is what was initially appropriate .Btw the only thing i know about horses is that they are beautiful friendly and poop alot.lol we're all trying to help and that's what matters but whose to say whose right and whose wrong. All my post said was 'GET SOMEONE TO HELP YOU WITH THE HORSE" and I was somewhat incredulous that anyone could disagree with that.

Anyhew iI hope the 4-h adopts it and all kinds of cool happy people get to love it!

Ithink gitrdone is gitrdone or get her done or getrdun so now i'm confused too.lol Did you know that larry the cable guy did not come up with that. It was a line in Carrie sid by John TRavolta when they were killing a pig to get the blood... quite curious huh.

p.s. i don't consider myself crazy just reality challenged.lol

It's all good and has kept me intellectually stimulated all day! Far out!

Brian ;):)

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I asked for a pony when I was eight, and unfortunately I got one.

It was really exciting for about a week, and then it sucked. They take SO much work, and they are so expensive. Eventually my parents sold it and bought me a budgie, which was a pet much better suited to me lol.

Unless you are really passionate about horses i'd recommend finding another home for it.

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Actually, Spaceman, I really don't think there was all that much similarity between what you & Silver bwere saying. Your suggestions were all about the person, and what might be best for him or her. Silver's focused on the horse, and the realities of what would be necessary for her to have a good life. Given the level of a horse's dependence on his/her owner, Silver's concerns strike me as quite appropriate, as opposed to your apparent belief that

animals exist largely for human benefit, without much respect for their needs. Unfortunately, all too many people share that opinion, contributing to the appalling numbers of animals of all kinds who end up in rescue.

But with all the cyberspace taken up with addressing your feelings, the OP's concerns have kind of fallen by the wayside.

It sounds to me like you already know what the best thing to do is here, you're just not so happy about it. I know you'll miss the horse, and that's sad, and it's probably going to really suck for awhile. But in the long run, you'll feel worse about keeping her without being able to provide her with the best home she could have. I don't know that I'm so crazy about the notion of turning responsibility for her care over to a group, as that doesn't sound to me like a situation that would offer her much stability. Nor would it allow her to have a primary person of her own, which (I think?) is important to horses.

Do a lot of research into her potential new owners. Require references, talk to their vets, if possible do homechecks,. If you go ahead and begin looking for a new home for her now, you'll be much better able to find her a place you'll feel really good about, than if you put it off until financial issues have created a crisis situation.

I know this kind of decision is really, really hard, and have a lot of respect for your having realized so quickly that this wasn't the time for you to have a horse.

ok I get it we're talking semantics here simple versus detailed explanation so we are both saying the same thing sorta

but I do believe short simple and positive is what was initially appropriate .Btw the only thing i know about horses is that they are beautiful friendly and poop alot.lol we're all trying to help and that's what matters but whose to say whose right and whose wrong. All my post said was 'GET SOMEONE TO HELP YOU WITH THE HORSE" and I was somewhat incredulous that anyone could disagree with that.

Anyhew iI hope the 4-h adopts it and all kinds of cool happy people get to love it!

Ithink gitrdone is gitrdone or get her done or getrdun so now i'm confused too.lol Did you know that larry the cable guy did not come up with that. It was a line in Carrie sid by John TRavolta when they were killing a pig to get the blood... quite curious huh.

p.s. i don't consider myself crazy just reality challenged.lol

It's all good and has kept me intellectually stimulated all day! Far out!

Brian ;):)

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What SashaSue said about realizing this so quickly. I sure wish I had. (SashaSue - they're herd animals. They need an 'alpha,' but not so much one primary human above all others, depending on what kind of work you're doing with them. They need social contact, though. That's essential. For training/socializing to humans, yes, one-two people would be ideal - mainly so the cues can be clear.)

As far as home checks - your stable owner may have some inside info.

Any 4H/FFA person will have a group leader who will be able to reference them, as well as another reference.

And as far as something bluelikejazz said - "I asked for a pony when I was eight, and unfortunately I got one." HA! I may have to paint that on the back of the horse trailer. With attribution, of course. That sums up the whole horse experience very, very well.

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OK LETS ALL GET OUT OUR READING BOOK AND FOLLOW ALONG:

" find someone private or organization to help with upkeep etc in return for the opportunity to also enjoy the horse. Maybe a youth group or home for abused kids etc. it would be good for you and give you a sense of achievenent and boost your self esteem and a sense of

sharing with others. i.m sure you could find someone to help you who would also enjoy the thrill and beauty of co-owning a horse that way you could still have it in your life and also enrich the lives of others. "

Now let's read the preceding paragraph sacrificing punctuation for content and comprehension!

What part of that doesn't say find someone to help you with the horse 4-h/ffa if you cant handle it yourself. now tell me how that can be grossly misinterpreted that somehow I believe animals exist only for our pleasure.Now I know why they call this CRAZYBOARDS. SERIOUSLY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!

I type in three small paragraphs two of which say find someone to help you with the horse that knows something about them that will still allow her to see it while not having all the responsibilityalone and I get all this horse#$%&^

SSHOE who are you to pass judgementon my values regarding animals you must really be one of the crazy ones here.

in my last post I agreed with silver that I don't know Jack about horses but I do know how to recognize ignorance.

This post has nothing to do with horses any more just egos and judgemental foolishness which doesn't even dignify a further response from meas you are now the one wasting cyberspace as all you have done is parrot what was previously

stated and mixed in a little character assassination and wala look what ya got are you proud of yourself.

FYI: 4-H and FFA are organizations which help kids how to properly take care of horses,pigs,sheep and other animals

and many of these animals are donated or shared with the owners and are cared for under the supervision of trained

instructors and veterinarians. I hear it's a pretty good program for the ANIMALS and the KIDS!

The other sites I provided were for people who want to sell their horses or lease them or just find them good homes.

Lets review ,sell it or get some help with it is what I said IN MY ORIGINAL POST and I made some SUGGESTIONS of some of the available resourses that might be helpful.Sorry I didn't feel it necessary to break out my big book of horse

stuff for scientists and other noble learned individuals .If I had known there was gonna be a test ON EQUINE HUSBANDRY I woulda studied up.

Again this kind of behavior is why there are only a handful of frequent posters and alot of lookers because god forbid

should someone give advice not up to the standards of the panel of experts on everything imaginable. If someone gives an opinion you disagree with just give yours and let it ride theres no need to specifically point out the flaws in somenes post unless we're talking facts and other proven scientific observations,or telling someone to jump off abridge I gave my opinion as first poster and the next three or four said sell sell sell and I really didn't have anything to say after that until my name was mentioned specifically which is unnecessary and uncalled for and leads to all of this malarkey.

That's it for me if ya wanna sy something else to me on this subject pm me or keep it to yourself because you can bet

if I'm not mentioned or my values maligned I won't try to correct you .

Yall have fun now!

This is where the cowboy rides away

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Spaceman,

It is perfectly okay for people to disagree with the advice that you gave earlier. This is how crazyboards works, a degree of free speech. Please think about whether it is worth posting if you only going to get hissy when someone criticizes you.

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Silver - Thanks for the horses/herd animals info. My menagerie doesn't (yet) include any horsesre, and I haven't spent much time around them since I was a kid. I do, however, have some thoughts about a horsier future - distant future ;) - so that's the kind of stuff I need to be thinking about.

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Silver's concerns strike me as quite appropriate, as opposed to your apparent belief that

animals exist largely for human benefit, without much respect for their needs. Unfortunately, all too many people share that opinion, contributing to the appalling numbers of animals of all kinds who end up in rescue.

THATS NOT JUST SIMPLE DISAGREEMENT IT'S SIMPLY APPALLING AND MY 2 RESCUED ANIMALS AGREE THAT THE STATEMENT INFERS AN APPARENT DEGREE OF COMPREHENSION DIFFICULTY.

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THATS NOT JUST SIMPLE DISAGREEMENT IT'S SIMPLY APPALLING AND MY 2 RESCUED ANIMALS AGREE THAT THE STATEMENT INFERS AN APPARENT DEGREE OF COMPREHENSION DIFFICULTY.
Spaceman, this isn't really addressing the issue of the OP's concerns, animal care, mental illness, or any combination of those things.

This isn't about your emotional needs or SashaSue's level of literacy.

The odds are really good that people are going to disagree with you sometimes on the internet. To reduce confusion, those people are probably going to use your name or allude to the specific statements with which they agree or disagree.

Disagreeing or agreeing with your ideas is not the same thing as an evaluation of your character.

So, well... cowboy up. Sometimes people here won't see eye to eye with you. It doesn't mean they're slamming you, dude, it just means you're seeing things a different way.

I think we're in basic agreement here in that no one wants Pachab or the horse to be miserable, impoverished/underfed, or at risk.

Right?

Right.

Great.

Pachab, I spent part of the morning looking around for information on foal to 3 year old training leases, and it seems to vary hugely depending on what region of the country you're in. High feed costs are changing a lot of things this year, it seems. Definitely looks like the barn manager is going to be the best source of information to start with, if you elect to sell or lease.

Also, I forgot to mention this - many breeders have a buy-back clause in the contract, in which the breeder has the right to be the first person to buy back the foal up until a certain age for the cost you paid. You don't get back any training costs, etc.

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