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Ophelia

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I cannot believe it. I have not cut for 300 days. I honestly think that is the longest span of time I have gone without cutting since I started cutting myself really badly at about 12 years old. Fuck.

Days like this, though (anniversaries, I mean), are always sort of both good and bad. I always feel especially triggered on milestone days. I don't know if I can really put into words why that is exactly.

But anyway, I have also partaken in numerous substitutes that are bad for me. I won't get into them now. So, yes, I guess I *should* be proud of the 300, but I also sort of just think that I'm pathetic. Does that make sense?

I don't know. None of this probably makes sense.

I need to get dressed and get to work...

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I think when you hit 365 those of us on the East Coast should rendezvous in celebration. Not that 300 days in shabby! Way to go Opie. One day at a time.

Maybe by 365 I will be able to drive again! ;) Then we can go wherever you want!

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Hey, I'm in too, don't forget me!

300 days is awesome. Yeah, I know the feeling, on my one-year sobriety anniversary I had strong urges to drink. Couldn't explain it, but I get it, the good/bad thing.

Like S9 said, one day at a time <looking at calendar, marking off 365 as our get-together>

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Thanks for the support you guys. I sure as hell need it.

I think when you hit 365 those of us on the East Coast should rendezvous in celebration. Not that 300 days in shabby! Way to go Opie. One day at a time.

Maybe by 365 I will be able to drive again! :) Then we can go wherever you want!

I agree! I'm so in.

Let's just not do it at my mother-in-law's house this time, okay? ;)

haha, susan. That would bring back... memories. Some I am sure we wish to forget, lol. lalalala....

Anywayz, not to jinx it, but I figured that I have to have some sort of a goal, even if nothing does come out of it. Since it does fall at a time with I know *some* families get together... I don't know. Day 365 falls on Thursday, May 19th. Saint Patrick's Day is two days prior on the 17th. Oh, and Friday the 20th is the Spring Equinox, which really has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that it is cool.

I must be overtired to come up with this crap.

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  • 2 weeks later...

:)

I'm so happy for you.

It's hard, it's sometimes beyond hard but you've proved to yourself that you CAN be in control of it and that makes the biggest difference in the world (at least it did for me). My conscious decision "never again" day was in November 2005 and manohman I know it's rough, but it's also possible.

Maybe make a bookmark to this post or write a journal entry about how far you've come? It's good to have something around to bolster your confidence if you're ever in need of a reminder to yourself that you can do it.

Just keep swimming ;)

m

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