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*I* suck


GroovyGwen

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Last night coming home from my parent's house I side swiped a frickin car about 4 doors down from my house.  (I dropped a piece of chocolate covered gummy bear on my shirt and was trying to foind it before it stained.  Yes, I am a jackass.)  I suppose I could have fled but that is just not like me.  So I sucked it up, parked my car and went out to fess up.  There was a whole big group of people there around my (28) age.  I totally took all responsibility for it - what the hell was I gonna do, blame a frickin' squirrel?? - and said I would pay whatever out of pocket to keep it form Ins.  I don't have collision, so it wouldn't be covered anyway.  Good for me for taking responsibility and just doing it.  Didn't help when a chick I knew in HS was there watching and probably thinking "wow, wende is such a jackass".  I was totally bitchy, not at them, but at myself, seeing how I was pretty frickin' miserable anyway.  Anyway, so the chick just called - she got an estimate of $800 to replace the mirror, fix a way small dent and compound out a scratch.  What the hell was I gonna do?  I had to just say go ahead and fix it.  As long as they take plastic, so be it.  Well, guess what???  They DON'T take plastic.  Great.  AND the guy said that most auto body places don't.  (IS THIS EVEN TRUE??)  So now I have to shell out at least $800 cash in addition to paying for my own mirror to be replaced.  Good thing is that the auto body guy couldn't take her until next week so we have a week to try to find a place that does take plastic.  I have $1100 to my name and am taking time off work this week because I am miserable.  Looks like I am going back to work, eh?  And I wanted to ask for a raise, but how do you do that after taking time off for being insane? 

I hate myself.  Even the fact that my 2 nephews are coming for a visit doesn't help things.  I am going to a new tdoc tomorrow for the first time and hopefully this will be the beginning of dealing with stuff. ;)   :) I am trying to resist the urge to start cutting, but everyone talks about it so why not just try it and see if it makes me feel better?  Duh, that is such a bad idea.  I never actually do anything that my head tells me to (drive into a tree, slice peices of flesh off) but I just keep making myself insane by thinking them.  "Are you going to hurt yourself, wende?" No, I am just going to dream about it - fantasize about it, like it was disneyworld or my own personal comforting cave made entirely of chocolate with the sounds of Wende-affirming statements wafting through at all times.  "Wende is a good person"  "Wende has a good soul"  "Wende is going to be fine" "Wende is a strong individual who everyone loves, although she has no friends and the ones she had are ignoring her for good reason because she blows them off and calls them when she needs something" 

Oops, that last one slipped out....

Got to go say hey to nephews.  Should be fun to pretend to be happy after taking a benedryl and drinking a vodka cranberry.....  "Look Auntie Wende is drooling on the floor!" 

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"AND the guy said that most auto body places don't.  (IS THIS EVEN TRUE??)"

No..this is not true. Unless it is some guy doing repairs in his back yard. Plus, you could always do a paypal payment (Paypal.com).

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Actually, in my town it is true. They want a check directly from the insurance company, cash, or a cashier's check.

You are not a jackass, just another typical human making a typical human mistake. You did the right thing and should feel good about that. And besides, $800 would look cheap if you had fled and then been caught, living only four doors away and all.

It still sucks, though, and I hope things get better for you soon.

Greeny

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I dropped a piece of chocolate covered gummy bear on my shirt and was trying to foind it before it stained.

If it makes you feel any better, that made me laugh my ass off. 

Take solace in the fact that you are a good person.  You did the right thing.  Now you get to pay for it.  I could probably kick-in like $5 if that helps. 

And don't hurt yourself.  If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you too?

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Dear Wende,

Don't cut yourself over this (take my advice, I'm not using it). From one who has been there, it's never worth it when you look back.

This is a financial hassle now, but it will be insignificant a few months (or even weeks) from now. And you did do the right thing. A fender bender over a gummy bear is a small mishap in the greater scheme of things (although I have freaked over many similar or lesser things in my time).

You should feel good about yourself over this. If anyone is looking down on you they have the problem.

(And I love the name Wende.)

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as for the whole car thing, that is really cool that you took the responsibility for it. too many times people just drive on. you did make it sound pretty funny though. i do apologize for that. as for the cutting don't buy a bad habit that you don't already own.

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Wende, you are not a jackass. If you are, I am too. I backed into a guy yesterday (didn't think it could be done, huh?). This was at my son's work. Put a dent in my bumper, luckily nothing to his. I am the queen of car mishaps or should I say near misses. I think my husband thinks I may need to stop driving. I won't.

The bad thin is my mind gets to wandering or I react instead of act. So don't feel bad, you have company.

Kudos on the honesty. Also, check your bank about getting the money from your card. They will also give you a certified check.

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