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sdraoB eht no eibweN

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I guess I should introduce myself, since I've been reading some of these posts. Was in and out with counselors (behavioral, guidance, psychological) since 4th grade. I've had daydreaming problems, math problems, focus issues, obsessions, 'strange experiences', long bouts without sleep and longer bouts trying to get awake until I just couldn't take it any more and mentioned these things during my yearly physical about 10 years ago. (Between 4th grade and 10 years ago is about 30 years - so there were 3 decades when I tried to figure this stuff out and lost that battle: I just figured I was <something derogatory> and estranged myself from friends and birth family.) Doctor referred me to a psychiatrist to talk and the psychiatrist referred me to a therapist to talk more.

Been married for 15 years, got three great kids and the family is the only thing that, IMHO, keeps me wanting to keep me together.

Over the therapy time, I've learned a lot and been able to put a lot of techniques into practice to help. Med cocktails have been switched out throughout that time and nothing seems to have done much other than give me a good taste of side effects. (Not bashing meds; I guess we just never hit the right mix.) So over the past 10 years, I've been diagnosed with a bunch of stuff including bipolar (somewhere between BPII and cyclothymia), OCD, ADD and we were investigating AvPD and DDNOS. Counselors have use the label dyscalculic as well, but that's never been tested for. About 8 months ago, my wife and I decided for various reasons that I would walk away from therapy and meds. It's been working so far, but ... whether it's my natural state of paranoia or that vague feeling of fingernail-on-blackboard vibes up and down my spine, I'm turning to forums where I can read of others with my kinds of experiences and perhaps talk with others like I couldn't talk with my therapist (and can't talk with my wife or kids).

The voices get stronger in my head, as the saying goes. That's a metaphor. Sorta. LOL!

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Welcome to our world! Sounds like you've been on the merry-go-round for a long time. You won't find too many people around here who will advocate "walking away from therapy and meds," but it certainly is a good conversation opener.

Take a quick look at the rules when you get a chance, and feel free to PM any of the mods if we can help you.


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