nameless Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Hi. I feel like a fool. I'm not good at writing to lots of unknown people at once. I feel like there is nothing I could possibly say that is new or interesting. I'm depressed. Duh. I have been all my life. I feel like I have very little to offer to this forum, so I feel weird about asking, through this intro, to be paid attention to. Still, I'm quite depressed and anxious, and meds aren't working, and licit and illicit drugs do not generally offer relief. Valium has helped, but none of the dozens of antidepressants I've tried have done anything for me. I'm 40, and I fear the challenges of old age, and it's hard not to assume that my depression will last for as long as I live. My support group is very, very small. I've never been good at making friends, or fitting in. I recently started with yet another psychiatrist and therapist, both of whom seem intelligent, careful, and competent, so there is something from which to draw courage, though, as ever, I am terrified of the ever-increasing debt, and the complications that come with it. I was just sitting here, trying to calm my breathing, trying to think of anything I might be able to concentrate on that won't worsen my depression/anxiety, so in desperation, I am reaching out to you all. I resisted medications for many years, for many reasons, but finally succumbed a couple of years ago. Their utter failure (except Valium) to help me has increased my discouragement. I've tried all the holistic stuff, to no avail. I tried ECT. I absolutely cannot recommend it, though I hear it has been helpful for some. I give myself credit, when I can, for the courage that has gotten me this far. I believe I'm basically a good person, and that I did nothing to deserve my illness. I long for so many things, too many to list, but they include the ability to be creative, productive, and helpful. Thank you for letting me share. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 I will now deliver the official 'Welcome, welcome" speech. "Welcome, welcome". a.m. (with apologies to the Ig-Nobel Prize committee at Harvard) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scatty Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Hello and welcome! You'll find lots of info and support here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BPCharlotte Posted February 18, 2009 Share Posted February 18, 2009 Welcome from me too. I identify with what you've said, if only I was feeling as eloquent right now! Glad you've found somewhere to really say what you mean. And you can here. Without being judged. Welcome to the best place to be. In my opinion! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kablume Posted February 19, 2009 Share Posted February 19, 2009 Glad you're here! Make yourself at home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Welcome to Crazyboards. I'm sorry none of the ADs have helped you, but maybe the new pdoc and tdoc will come up with an alternative. I have a friend who has GAD, and benzos did nothing to help her and just made her feel out of it. Then her doctor put her on a beta blocker and she said it was an almost instant change. Now, I'm not saying that a beta blocker is what you need, but it might be that your former doctor wasn't thinking "outside the box." (I hate that clich Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix_Rising Posted February 20, 2009 Share Posted February 20, 2009 Hello and Welcome I think you'll find that many of us on this site have experienced much of what you have experienced. I hope you can see this as a safe place to ask questions and receive support. Peace, Phoenix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nameless Posted February 20, 2009 Author Share Posted February 20, 2009 Thanks, y'all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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