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Contemplating inpatient


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Yo - So I have not been doing well for the last few weeks and things are not getting better.  I took this week off from work to try to sort my shit out and here it is Wednesday and I don't know if by Monday I am going to be that much better.  I did go to my new tdoc (I think I scared the shit out of him - if you can do that), and I am going for a physical tomorrow just to make sure I'm not physically sick.  I am seeing pdoc again Monday and will discuss it with her then I guess - But my question is:  When do you just admit yourself?  I've never been, and am scared of losing rights, being held captive, etc.  Does it help?  How long?  Where do I go?  I know my med benefits cover some kind of inpatient - I should check to find out exactly. 

If anyone wants to research me and then make a guess - that would be great.  I don't trust myself, I feel like I don't know my arse form my elbow these days.  Freaked out in CVS when they didn't have my refill, shouldn't be driving, cry daily with some or no provocation.... 

http://www.crazyboards.org/index.php?showtopic=2410

http://www.crazyboards.org/index.php?showtopic=2664

http://www.crazyboards.org/index.php?showtopic=2683

http://www.crazyboards.org/index.php?showtopic=2782

Oy.

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Yo, lady!

BTDT and it was not bad--honest! I absolutely needed to be there. It was not a fancy place, but it was clean, the staff was caring and supportive, and the food was good!

And I had done the "Do I need to do this?" for so many days that I made things so much worse.

Now that is **just my own experience**    and it's like I felt I had to *get* bad enough to go there when I was so bad that I didn't know I was already bad enough...made a heck of a lot of sense didn't it?

Can you listen to your heart/gut and follow it 'cause it may be already be giving you your answer.

and to be honest, I've already agreed to go inpatient if I don't get stable soon.

Spike

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I did emergency care the first time and they have to let you go in my state.  If you don't follow the rules, there is a chance someone will keep you longer in the facility I was at.  It was wonderful!  I slept all day for i was on 300mg of seroquel, klonopin, depakote and trazadone.  Can't IMAGINE why I slept all the time, lol...But I would wake up at night about 10:30 when everyone was in their rooms.  They would let me shower and freshen up then watch the 11pm news.  The one nurse and social worker took a liking to me and would feed me their lean cuisines b/c I always slept thru meals.

The second time was a short stay, but I was happy and "safe" feeling.  Liked playing pool in the rec room and enjoyed going outside for my smoke breaks.  I did mananged to stir up shit b/c the one woman refused to do her chores and never picked up the common room.  But I still managed to get out in a reasonable time...short time...think it was a week or so.

The third time?  I spent a month.  I said some pretty horrible things in my manic mode to one of the foreign docs that he didn't like very much.  He fixed my ass really good and wouldn't let me go home.  I still enjoyed my solitude.

I am a very to myself person.  I do strike up conversations to strangers at the grocery store, but when I'm alone?  I prefer just that....me and my dog.  When my husband comes home, he even wears on me b/c he invaded my space but I try not to show it.

So for me?  I personally liked it.  If I didn't have so much coming up?  I would tell my therapist exactly what's been going on so I can take a week off from the mania.  But I fear I will break and have an episode that will lead me to inpatient.  I feel like a ticking clock that is attached to a bomb lately and I am holding everything together by a very weak thread at the moment.

I wish you the best of luck in sorting this out.  Do so and make the choice before the uglies set in.  As long as you're stable enough, you'll be in good company.  Fly to far to that dark side and that's another ward.

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I wish I could do or say something that might actually be helpful, but all I can come up is "Take care of yourself".  You're the only one that can determine what is best for you.  When I eventually end up in the looney bin, my only request is that I get a room with a view of the lake.  All the good looney bins have a lake.  The really good ones have ducks on the lake.  Oh, and I also want a hot nurse to give me sponge baths.  The really, really good ones have a lake and ducks and hot nurses.  But they are expensive. 

I have read your posts and as you know from my responses, you make me laugh, which is a rare event these days.  Don't let the world steal your funny.

(Resisting urge to drive to NJ to give Wende a big hug) ((That came out really lame.  Sorry.))

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I understand the delimma....the inpatient wards for interesting people aren't scary really...I am usually either doped out of my bean or bored to tears (no internet and I'm a junkie for it)...I'm having a nasty time trying to find the right mix of meds and a lot of time I'm way out in the middle of rolling wheat fields all by myself...I'm actually afraid of myself at times...so the should I stay or should I go thing is waaaaay familiar.

I'm going to stick my lame arse out in traffic and suggest that if your insurance allows it, at least go to the psych ward for an evaluation and some kind of plan of action...if you've been having problems this long, they aren't likely to just get bored and go away with out help

hugs and peaceful dreams...

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I think I have been in around 6 different hospitals. Pretty much like everyone says here. Most of them have great food and they let you do crafts. But seriously, I went in the last time as I was severely depressed, suicidal, and I could not promise my Pdoc I could stay safe. A lot of times you go to help regulate your meds in a safe environment.

I wish you the best, we'll be here for you.

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I don't know about the hot nurse to give me sponge baths

Well, you of course would need to find a hot male nurse.  And I am sure if you prefer showers, they would make accommodations.

Wish there was something I could do to make things easier, but that ain't the way life works, unfortuneately.  Just take care of yourself.  If you need a little moral support, just let me know. 

P.S  My real name is Justin.

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Fuck pdoc, I'm going to drink.  She didn't really offer much help except, "Up your lex - I'll give you ambien"  Fucker.
Supergwen, if you have addiction problems, she is probably concerned that you'll get way dependent on benzos.  I hope the lexapro does the trick.
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I'm pretty sure she won't give me benzos because of the addiction issue and she's probably right.  It's just hard to deal in the moment.  The 40 of lex is making me a little spacy I think - and my jaw is hurting like a sonofabitch.  Bah.  We'll see how this week goes. 

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Hi Gwen:

How's the uppage of Lexapro doing for you? "The 40 of lex is making me a little spacy I think "  I'm still spacing out after 5 weeks. braaaiiinnns. (sort of like a chemical lobotomy.)

sorry your family dissed you. well you know we won't diss you here.  How's that Ambien working out for you? any new thoughts on the "inpatient facility"? 

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