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go to the hospital or wait

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today has been filled with much rage and sadness. i just want to fucking die. i try not to let these things out. i try to keep the people around me safe from them. but i dont know anymore. ive spent all day thinking about what way to do it. what will most likely succeed. how do i keep my children from being the ones to find me. how do i not make too much of a mess (im a stereotype!).

how bad does it have to get before it is logical for me to go to the hospital? what will happen if i do? and who the fuck will take care of my kids. i just cant do this anymore. im so tired of having bipolar disorder. im sooooo tired of it. i dont know what to do. i dont know what to do.

ive been crying all day. someone help me see a light at the end of this please.  im desperate.

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You need help NOW.  No need to apologize to anybody.  Do not wait.

- If you are safe to drive, go the hospital ER.  They will help you and your kids.

- If you have a friend or relative nearby, call them now, and ask them to take you to the ER now.

- Ask a neighbor to take you.

- If it is all too hard call 911, tell them you are suicidal and need help.  They will get help to you. 

Don't be embarrased to ask for the help you need. Let others help take the weight off you. Taking care of yourself is the best way to take care of your kids. 

Go get help now.  You don't have to feel this bad.

Let us know how you are doing.


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