thunderstorm Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 so life's kinda sucked over the past month. Everything nosedived, and my sleeping, eating and coping went right out the window. my skin went crazy. I got incredible hand tremors. I feel like Ive done nothing except work, cry, and not even have enough energy do something simple like post or reply to posts here. fortunately, I had a pdoc appointment lined up, so I saw him yesterday. And now I've got even more pills to take 8 months ago, I was only taking epilim, and an incredibly low dose at that. Now it's epilim and lamictal and avanza and imovane and prn valium, plus fish oil, plus glucosamine and some other suppliments i take because my joints are screwed. I feel like I eat more tablets than food. Still, I got the closest to a full night's sleep that Ive had in a long time last night. That's gotta count for something, right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meg Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 hey, just wanted to say a couple of things (I should be asleep right now, need to leave at 6:45am...gah): - love the thread title, I can totally relate except I probably would have started with a screwdriver or something - I'm sorry that you've been having such a rough time lately but I'm glad that you were able to get a bit of support and check in with your doc. At least you aren't sitting on the sidelines not trying to get better, you know? Good for you for continuing to try and take care of yourself even when everything seems hard. Hang in there. - it's easy to get caught up in the amount of meds/pills that you take, but try your best to focus on how they make you feel and the improvements you see (like sleeping well!) rather than the number of prescriptions you take. the results are what is important. some people are lucky and get a magic combo of two meds to achieve stability, but if it takes six and they give you stability without being too much worse for the wear (like getting a bigger pill case or a side effect or two)-- then focus on THAT. - it's taken me a while to get used to taking six different medications (which adds up to about 10 pills every morning) at the ripe ol' age of 21, but they've helped me to GET to age 21. and live and be happy and achieve elusive 'stable' for more than a year now. hell yeah it would be nice to only need one or two meds, like what kindof worked for me three years ago, but if I had gotten too hung up new meds, I would have neverever found my current cocktail. sorry that this is kinda rambling, but I hope you get what I mean. I'm sure there are tons of CBers who can 100% relate to the Long Island Iced Tea variety of cocktail. m Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gizmo Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 I understand how you feel, I really do. It stinks taking so many pills. We could start a thread (wait, didn't this just happen?) on how many pills a day each of us take. The fact we can't escape is this: each of us has a magic number. The number of pills each of us needs to take to feel *relatively* stable. And the kick-you-in-the-pants thing is that your magic number can change. You experienced it. I just experienced it. I've taken 1200 mg of lithium for a year. I lost 33 pounds over the past two months, and suddenly 1200 mg is too much for me. Now I gotta take 900 mg. Weird, but ok. You will find your magic number. Maybe it's the cocktail you're on, maybe it will be the next one. But as long as you are moving forward, reaching for the magic number, you are doing the right thing. Keep doing the right thing, and you will be ok. You will make it through the ups and downs and side effects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celestia Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 fortunately, I had a pdoc appointment lined up, so I saw him yesterday. And now I've got even more pills to take 8 months ago, I was only taking epilim, and an incredibly low dose at that. Now it's epilim and lamictal and avanza and imovane and prn valium, plus fish oil, plus glucosamine and some other suppliments i take because my joints are screwed. I feel like I eat more tablets than food.I sometimes look at my basket of pill bottles and sigh, but what the hell, they do the job. I feel better ON the meds than OFF the meds. If I'm going to turn into a geriatric newt because of my crazy meds, then bring it on. It can't be worse than being unmedicated crazy. I like the title of your thread too. You haven't lost your sense of humor. Hey, whatever happened to the boyfriend manual? I hope you get to feeling better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scatty Posted March 7, 2009 Share Posted March 7, 2009 I've felt the same way. I hope the pills keep you sleeping well and give you some stability. I, too, am wondering about that manual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderstorm Posted March 15, 2009 Author Share Posted March 15, 2009 well how 'bout that, 8 days between posting and getting to reply. Stupid life. Thanks so much for the support. I was feeling overwhelmed and overworked and just needed a little vent. Sometimes I hate that my sanity is tied to popping pills every few hours, but then the pragmatic part of my brain kicks in and tells me to stop being silly, and that those annoying pills are keeping me alive. The boyfriend manual fell by the wayside, unfortunately (though not the boyfriend, which is good). Ive had a bunch of major life stressors (In quick succession my job, home situation, family situation and health went on the fritz) these past couple of months, and I just dont have the spoons to deal with meaningfully educating him about best practice for his CrazyGirlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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