am i crazy

[durfeeh]

I WAS JUST DIAGNOSED BIPOLAR MANIC DEPRESSIVE, FOR YEARS I HAVE DEALT WITH THE UP AND DOWNS AND MOOD SWINGS . I HAVE BEEN TO MY DOCTOR WHEN I WAS ABOUT 14 AND WAS PUT ON WELBUTRIN THAT MADE ME FEEL EVEN MORE DISPLACED THAN HOW I WAS ALREADY FEELING, I STOPPED TAKING IT FORCING MY SELF TO DEAL WITH WHAT EVER WAS WRONG WITH ME. THEN WHEN I WAS 21 MY DOCTOR AGAIN PUT ME ON WELBUTRIN TO HOPEFULLY CONTROL ALL OF MY SERIES OF ISSUES BUT IT MADE IT SO BAD THAT I WAS FLIPPING OUT OVER THE DUMBEST THINGS, AND EVEN WENT AS FAR AS OVERDOSING ON IT. THEN CALLING THE PARAMEDICS ON MY SELF . NOT HAVEING ANY SUPPORT FROM MY HUSBAND DIDNT HELP HE HAS ALWAYS SAID SOMETHING WAS SERIOUSLY WRONG IN MY BRAIN TO WANT TO FIGHT HIM ALL THE TIME OR TO NOT HAVE ANY EMOTI0N WHEN DEALING WITH ANYTHING. WELL HERE I AM AT 26 NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH BIPOLAR MANIC DEPRESSIVE, HAVEING SUCH BAD IRRITABILITIES , AND AGITATION THEN FEELING LIKE I AM TOP OF MY KINGDOM AND BETTER THAN ANYONE. GOING FROM CRYING TO LAUGHING, YELLING, OR GETTING PHYSICAL WITH JUST THE FLIP OF A SWITCH HAS ME WORRIED. AND BEFORE I THOUGHT THAT THE VOICES I HEARD OUTSIDE MY HEAD WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE AND THAN MY HUSBAND COMES WALKING IN A ROOM ASKING ME WHY I AM YELLING AND WHO AM I YELLING AT I ASK HIM WELL DIDNT YOU SEE SO AND SO BEING VERY RUDE TO ME YELLING AND SUCH HE WOULD LOOK AT ME AND SAY NO HONEY THERE IS NO ONE BUT YOU AND I HERE. I CANT REMEMBER CONVERSATIONS WHEN I AM HAVING EPISODES NOR CAN I REALLY REMEMBER MY BEHAVIOR UNTIL MY KIDS OR HUSBAND TELL ME ABOUT THEM . NOW I AM REALLY WONDERING IF IT IS MORE THAN THAT OF BPMD. I THINK THAT I AM CRAZY.

[bluelikejazz]

Hi.

Can you please turn the caps off? it makes it a little hard to read and I don't want people to miss your post.

Welcome to crazy boards. I think hearing voices can be part of bipolar disorder, hopefully now you are diagnosed you can get some meds that will stop that, and the agitation and irritation too. Sometimes it takes time to get the right ones.

Anyway, welcome.

[durfeeh]

Hi.

Can you please turn the caps off? it makes it a little hard to read and I don't want people to miss your post.

Welcome to crazy boards. I think hearing voices can be part of bipolar disorder, hopefully now you are diagnosed you can get some meds that will stop that, and the agitation and irritation too. Sometimes it takes time to get the right ones.

Anyway, welcome.

Well thank you for replying i hope that this all can be adjusted and soon but thank you for the welcome

[meg]

welcome to CB,

I'm sorry that I can't say more because I'm not able to read your post since it's in all capitals and is bold too-- my eyes just can't handle the big block of text even when I enlarge it

I wish I could though, so I just wanted to say hi and I hope that you find CB a supportive place,

m

[Majmehtaj]

Hi durfeeh,

I am new here too. Well relatively new, I have been reading crazyboards for a while, but just started participating recently.

This must be incredibly scary for you. I have a couple of questions.

Do you have a psychiatrist, or were you diagnosed by a family physician? (this may seem like a stupid question, but I do have friends who were diagnosed by their GPs). If you were diagnosed by your general practitioner, you may need to find a good psychiatrist. If you were diagnosed by a psychiatrist... is it one you can really trust? For me, finding the right psychiatrist was imperative.

What medications were recommended for you?

Is there any way to get your husband to do some reading about bipolar disorder?

I have bipolar. I do on occasion here random sounds or voices that I know aren't there, but I have never had full blown conversations. I don't know if that is an aspect of bipolar, but a good doctor can help you sort that out.

I am just starting to realize that I have memory issues as well. I don't remember many of the things I do when fully manic. It is such a disconcerting experience. I am just hoping that since I am effectively treating the mania, that these memory issues will no longer be a problem.

I am sorry things have been so rough... I hope that your family can be more supportive... but if not, you always have everyone here to help you through.

I wish you the best... and welcome to crazyboards.

I WAS JUST DIAGNOSED BIPOLAR MANIC DEPRESSIVE, FOR YEARS I HAVE DEALT WITH THE UP AND DOWNS AND MOOD SWINGS . I HAVE BEEN TO MY DOCTOR WHEN I WAS ABOUT 14 AND WAS PUT ON WELBUTRIN THAT MADE ME FEEL EVEN MORE DISPLACED THAN HOW I WAS ALREADY FEELING, I STOPPED TAKING IT FORCING MY SELF TO DEAL WITH WHAT EVER WAS WRONG WITH ME. THEN WHEN I WAS 21 MY DOCTOR AGAIN PUT ME ON WELBUTRIN TO HOPEFULLY CONTROL ALL OF MY SERIES OF ISSUES BUT IT MADE IT SO BAD THAT I WAS FLIPPING OUT OVER THE DUMBEST THINGS, AND EVEN WENT AS FAR AS OVERDOSING ON IT. THEN CALLING THE PARAMEDICS ON MY SELF . NOT HAVEING ANY SUPPORT FROM MY HUSBAND DIDNT HELP HE HAS ALWAYS SAID SOMETHING WAS SERIOUSLY WRONG IN MY BRAIN TO WANT TO FIGHT HIM ALL THE TIME OR TO NOT HAVE ANY EMOTI0N WHEN DEALING WITH ANYTHING. WELL HERE I AM AT 26 NEWLY DIAGNOSED WITH BIPOLAR MANIC DEPRESSIVE, HAVEING SUCH BAD IRRITABILITIES , AND AGITATION THEN FEELING LIKE I AM TOP OF MY KINGDOM AND BETTER THAN ANYONE. GOING FROM CRYING TO LAUGHING, YELLING, OR GETTING PHYSICAL WITH JUST THE FLIP OF A SWITCH HAS ME WORRIED. AND BEFORE I THOUGHT THAT THE VOICES I HEARD OUTSIDE MY HEAD WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE AND THAN MY HUSBAND COMES WALKING IN A ROOM ASKING ME WHY I AM YELLING AND WHO AM I YELLING AT I ASK HIM WELL DIDNT YOU SEE SO AND SO BEING VERY RUDE TO ME YELLING AND SUCH HE WOULD LOOK AT ME AND SAY NO HONEY THERE IS NO ONE BUT YOU AND I HERE. I CANT REMEMBER CONVERSATIONS WHEN I AM HAVING EPISODES NOR CAN I REALLY REMEMBER MY BEHAVIOR UNTIL MY KIDS OR HUSBAND TELL ME ABOUT THEM . NOW I AM REALLY WONDERING IF IT IS MORE THAN THAT OF BPMD. I THINK THAT I AM CRAZY.

[scatty]

First off Hello and welcome to crazyboards!

Now that you are diagnosed you can be treated for BP. You'll most likely need a mood stabilizer. Having BP and put on an AD (wellbutrin) alone can trigger mania. Are you on any meds now? I suggest finding a psychiatrist, as GPs are not well trained in dealing with BP.