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I don't really know where to start with this topic if I'm honest but I'll try anyway.

Do you find it hard to talk to your pdoc or tdoc about your psychosis? When I first saw my psychiatrist it was because my therapist said I needed and urgent referral: Next day. So I saw a nice lady who really really understood me and told me I had a "psychotic disorder" but she had to take personal leave so I had to change doctors and I began seeing a man. Now I think this may be my problem. It was her who basically assessed me and of course she recorded everything but I feel with my new doctor because I didn't have an assessment as such he doesn't understand where I'm coming from. I could obviously mention this to my doctor but I don't like confrontation and all that other lovely stuff.

I just feel that he doesn't really know about my psychotic symptoms, but they're recorded. I have some things to mention like how my speech and thinking were impaired before I started taking the medication, I'm thinking it was negative symptom. I just have great difficulty bringing things up, does anyone have any advice for me or personal experience? And I know I shouldn't be embarrassed or afraid to say things...But I am.


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Hi there,

I don't think we have spoken, so how do you do do, and welcome here, I see you are also new!

I have the same problem, to the extent that I was already relatively stable when I eventually got to my pdoc, and he later on accused me of "faking" symptoms, especially once he knew that I was reading up on the internet. He never even investigated properly.

I started writing down, and I have gone back into my pc, and took all my old writings, and printed that, and shown it to my new doc, and he also chatted to my kids and my boyfriend, and is happy with his bipolar diagnosis of me.

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I don't have psychotic symptoms, but I do know what it's like to have trouble with talking to a health care provider.

My current pdoc is different from the person who first evaluated me, and when I first saw my pdoc, she gave me the option of being reevaluated or of going over the other person's notes with her. I chose the second option and we read his notes together, and I elaborated and explained and made sure she got everything down.

I think that if you would feel better going back over the old stuff, there are lots of ways to do it that aren't confrontational. I think if you said:

It was her who basically assessed me and of course she recorded everything but I feel with my new doctor because I didn't have an assessment as such he doesn't understand where I'm coming from.

Exactly as you said here, he would be happy to go over her notes with you, or evaluate you again.

You could even print out your post, if you think it would make things easier.

I know it can be really hard to ask for things, especially with a provider you don't know very well, but learning to ask for what you need is important. Sometimes if you just bite the bullet and say something, you'll feel a lot better afterwards. And I actually do follow my own advice in this case, so I'm actually allowed to say that without feeling like an ass ;)

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They are one of the hardest things for me to talk about.

If I am actually paranoid at the time, I generally don't like talking about it, b/c I don't think it's safe.

And when I'm not symptomatic....then I feel silly, sort of, but if it was bad, then - I have psychotic symptoms/features, not psychosis, so I know it wasn't real, but I still kind of think it was, so at the time I take measures to protect myself and then afterwards it's hard for me to let go of that feeling.

Also, I work hard to be normal and then I'm like, 'geez....I'll sound crazy if I admit to that'. Which is hard too.

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I think what you are feeling is normal. Psychosis is very stigmatized. Affective disorders (including bipolar) are increasingly becoming normalized/acceptable. Many famous celebrities not only admit to having affective/bipolar disorder but there is often the assumption that the disorder aids their unique way of thinking. On the other hand, psychosis still remains relegated to negative stereotypes such as "crazy cat lady(man) who wanders around pushing an old grocery cart talking to herself".

The reality is, it seems like the line between "thought problems" and "feeling problems" isn't all that firm. Mental illnesses which feature an affective component prominently affect thoughts/perceptions/social behavior just like psychosis... and in psychosis, there is often mood swings or at least abnormal emotional behaviors sometimes even bipolar-like cycling.

The stereotype is bogus on both ends. Being a mood disordered person doesn't make you sensitive or artistic, and being a person with a psychotic disorder doesn't mean you are a crazy cat person.

I seem to have thought problems too, to the point where sometimes I wonder if the problem is actually an early psychotic disorder rather than an affective disorder (bipolar dx). It is hard to talk about what I think or see if only because it is hard to really describe and express what it is like. To actually say it out loud like "I thought I saw roaches climbing on the wall" and "I looked in the mirror and my face was twisted and horrible and looked like a monster"... it is a little embarrassing, yea. But I am used to being embarrassed self conscious and I deal with this one like I do others: I reassure myself that my embarrassment is irrational, I am speaking with a mental health professional, this is a safe place and being truthful can only help get me the best treatment.

I'm neither a creative genius or a cat lady, though ;). I do love my cat and I'm pretty artistically talented but purely incidental :).

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Mostly because I don't think most of my symptoms are weird or even symptoms of anything, and I don't really know how to describe things and feelings and things that ARE weird, and on top of that there's always the fear of appearing more screwed up than I already am and that making them feel they should lock me up somewhere (note that I'm not disagreeing going somewhere if it's a real reason for it). In fact, this was more or less the reason I couldn't get any real help in the start when I knew something was wrong. I just couldn't tell people face to face because I didn't want to be "that crazy bitch". There's a lot things I don't agree with them on, but I'm at the conclusion where I think it's just best for everyone if I play along, because it helps for the most part, even if I don't believe them. And who knows, they might be right, but that's not really something I want to think about. So yeah, it's hard.

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