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Fear of Flying


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Well, the big trip is coming right up--Friday, Aug 12 through Friday, Aug 19.

My mother and I are going to visit my sister in Seattle.

I am truly terrified of flying! I don't like planes, being in small places, and this is a five hour flight...rats! I've been on a plane twice in the last oh 20 years...when I came home from Nam and when I flew to VA to meet a friend. that was the flight that scared the hell out of me. storms going up there, storms coming home. the pilot made three attempts to land here, emergency crews were visible, then he was waved off and we went to another airport for a few hours before coming home. ;)

now the rest of the story...to quote Paul Harvey (egad, I'm showing my age :)

yeah, I'm leaving my comfort zone. going to a place where I feel I have no control...well, maybe taking a walk if things get too heavy/hard/emotional. and I'm not even sure of that since I've never been there and don't know the neighborhood, etc.

(breathe, spike, breathe)

there is a tiny voice saying this may be fun...you are getting away...seeing new places (sister has plans for sight seeing)...I'm really trying to list the positives and I know there are some!

but the louder voice is saying stay home, don't change anything, what if you flip out or something, maybe you'll fight with your bossy sister, can I get up early and have my coffee without disturbing them...

am I gonna be able to handle this! I hate to sound so damn stupid, but I am being honest about my feelings.

I'm getting better on the drugs...not in a grand way, but in small nice ways. but I don't feel stable. or maybe I don't trust feeling better...or it's a combo.

and maybe I just need to give it a chance and go for it and do my best to enjoy it? and fight the fear and mistrust

and believe in myself and take it ten minutes at a time if I have to...

spike

I really do want to be happy about this, but am having  trouble convincing those negative voices that yes, I can do this and do it with pleasure

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Can I be a positive voice?  Yes, you CAN do this, and you CAN enjoy this.  You don't seem to need anyone here to list the positives for you, which is already tremendous progress from how low this disease can get.  You are taking control.  You are telling yourself the right things.  I really do think this trip could be a good experience for you. 

Regarding your flight anxiety, do you have any meds you can take to get you through the flight if standard self-calming exercises aren't enough? If not, would you be able to legally procure any before your departure?  Benzos or even Seroquel or the like can be a godsend in tight spots (not to advocate shoving through a major change in your meds regime two days before going on vacation).  Have you found anything along those lines effective in the past?  This might be one way to ensure control during those claustrophobic five hours. 

Apart from meds, the standard self-calming options apply.  I'm sure you're familiar with distraction, deep breathing, meditation, keeping one's eyes shut, doing stretching exercises, practicing some form of self-stimulation (finger circling has long been a personal inobtrusive favorite), tracking, and the like.  Is your mother familiar with your MI and supportive of your work to control it?  If so, she might be a source of support and encouragement, particularly if you explain what you expect/fear beforehand.  Five hours is hardly a pleasant length of time to spend in a small space with strangers, but I'm confident you'll get through both legs of the trip, one way or another. 

As for taking walks, maybe you can ask your sister to take you on a walking tour of the neighborhood when you first arrive, saying you need to stretch your legs after the long trip.  It could give you a chance to familiarize yourself with your escape route for any future emergencies.  ;)

You've been doing well lately.  You can keep this up.  There is contentment to be found nearly everywhere, even in Seattle.  Enjoy your vacation! 

-lmnop

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Spike,

Seattle is a beautiful city,

if you have not been there,

flying in should be

a real treat.

walking,if the neighborhood is OK

is much prefered

over driving.

I think some people live in their cars,

because,they found

a place to park.

The family part,

I don't visit mine

no travel probs.

Stasis

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Spike,

Seattle is a beautiful city,

if you have not been there,

flying in should be

a real treat.

walking,if the neighborhood is OK

is much prefered

over driving.

I think some people live in their cars,

because,they found

a place to park.

The family part,

I don't visit mine

no travel probs.

Stasis

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Statis, thank you also! I really like the way you post your replies...

and I've heard that Seattle is beautiful so I am going to look for the beauty all around me and take it into my heart and let it help calm any panic.

To quote you, "I think some people live in their cars, because they found a place to park."  Well, it made me wonder about the analogy of my boxing myself in with fear of whatever...and I've kind of parked my rear end in misery.

Not to dismiss my MI and all the feelings that go with it, but maybe I need to hear other voices talking positively about stepping out in faith.

Peace,

Spike

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