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They've done it again.

Guest round for dinner.

Not telling me.

I hear, just now, at the last minute, through the door, her talking about it to him and the little one.

Like I don't exist.

No food for me.

I can't afford to go out and buy anything else, a takeaway. I shopped for the week. I would have bought something for tonight to have in my room, a sandwich or salad, if I'd known. Usually they write it on the calender, so I know. But not this time. [it has happened before]

This is my flatmates I'm talking about.

Woe betide me if I get hungry.

All the food I have in here is a bag of dried tropical fruit. And some water.

And we've a kitchen dining room, so I can't go and make anything once they've all settled.

AND she's really angry, about some bill thing. Only loosely connected with me. But she'll take it out on me. Ignoring me like this is her spiteful way of doing that, I guess.

I'm not going out there. Even though the guest isn't here yet. Could be any moment now. I heard through the door. Best be quiet, invisible... Other me can look after me, take away my anger from me. Dangerous.


I HATE this.

But I'm still wary of moving to a place of my own.

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UGH, I hated it when that happened. I made sure with my last roommate though that she always told me if she had guests coming over, and that I always told her. With her it worked out well actually. My previous roommates, not so much. I don't know why, but it makes me feel violated if I'm not warned ahead of time. Is there anyway you can bring this up without too much anxiety?

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If I'm feeling brave tomorrow I could say.

But if she's still in a mood, she won't care, or will come across as not caring.

The calender method [ha!] usually works, but she didn't write this one down. Maybe she thinks I'm psychic and would know?! Or, more likely, she just "forgot"/didn't think. *rolls eyes*

I'm off to bed now.

And hopefully will have a midnight snack or something later, although I hope I sleep through, as I'm feeling really crappy and could use the sleep 'escape'.

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I just ate a chunk of cheese and a yoghurt. Thankfully I slept most of the night.

It wasn't just them socialising and me being stuck here, I can just about handle that now... it was the not being TOLD, and then my having to miss a meal.

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Next time, don't get pushed around. You don't have to starve, yet you don't have to interact with the soiree. Go out there, give them a curt "Evening" with a sharp nod of the head, making it clear that you have acknowledged them but don't intend to converse. Fix something to eat and retreat elsewhere to consume it.

Illegitime non carborundum!



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Sorry, I dont understand why you can't go out there and get food? Why do you have to stay in the room and hide? I can appreciate the thing about each having the space to not have to share your friends, I guess, but also not really? How does the room mate thing work?

Is it not better to find another place which is more suitable?

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I think in Nestling's case it might be a social anxiety issue? In my case it definitely was, well at least it was one of the causes. I just felt so violated when my roommate didn't tell me they were having people over and I was scared to run into them/talk to them so I'd just hide out in my room. I don't know if scared is the right term. Luckily I live with my boyfriend now and he's as antisocial as I am, so we almost never have people over. Besides family, I think we've had two people over and we've lived here for over a year, and with both people (one was a neighbor, the other one my friend) were only here for very short amounts of time.

Nestling, please let us know how it goes, if you talk to your roommate, etc. Also if I'm wrong in thinking it's social anxiety. I don't want to speak for you, especially if I am wrong.

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youch, ~nestling~, that sounds awful

One way I've found helpful is to phrase the way you ask them for consideration in a positive light. So for example:

"hey, so I can make sure I'm done with dinner and you guys can have the space to enjoy your dinner party, can you give me a heads up in the morning? I forget sometimes, so just remind me in case it's slipped my mind'

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