Polarbirdy Posted July 23, 2009 Share Posted July 23, 2009 Yes, hi! Wow - sometimes i just think it's great to be moody, when it works for your advantage. I was just completely overwhelmed by the size and complexity of this forum, but the question "what's your favorite bird?" in the registration form was so surprising and great (hence my nick + i love all birds, they comfort me) that now i feel all energized again. So... i was finally (!!!) diagnosed with bipolar 2 this week. I've thought for the last 14 years that there's something wrong with me, been diagnosed with depression (with checker OC behaviour) but have "healed myself".... many times.... never thought i was manic enough to fit the bipolar category, simply because i didnt know about bipolar 2 and because i thought it was quite normal to be happy, energetic and filled with great ideas. Still in the back of my head i always thought i was bipolar. Damn i must say it feels good i'm being agreed with, by my GP, my psychologist, and psychiatrist. Now i have something concrete, something biological, to try and manage. I'm not just a weak, overly sensitive, reckless artist-type who'll never graduate and find a real job, not managing to overcome emotional problems and find spiritual peace. I have a disfunctioning brain, goddammit! And still i've managed to do a lot of things far better than most people. So sucked in. Yeah, i actually also suffer from low self-esteem - and then again, i don't know. I don't even really know what my "normal" feelings about myself are, now that i think of it. I'm mostly depressed (maybe rapid cycle, maybe mixed, i dont quite know yet), so that might blur my judgment. This is really interesting, now that i can officially think of myself as BP, seeing things from a different perspective. Well, anyway, I am currently trying Proxan (just started) but my psychiatrist wants me on some "real" drug, and if this won't help, i will. Currently i just need a lot more information about them. And that's how i found this forum in the first place. All i want is to finally be well and balanced, not sleep till 3 pm, not miss job opportunities/have to quit jobs because i don't have the energy and nothing seems to matter, not spend months planning something great (usually a whole new course of life) only to realise i dont want it after all, not feel terribly irritated and yell at people i love just because i feel my head is about to explode. I want them to be able to enjoy me as i really am. And i want to be able to enjoy my life as it really is. And how about the actual introduction... I'm female, late 20's, living in Australia but from northern Europe, heavily into a whole bunch of arts, metaphysical things, love learning about nearly everything at least momentarily... Don't believe in adulthood but responsible life-long childhood, believe life is meant to be fun and great. And not like this. So here we go. I want to find my way. Pleasure to meet you people, and congratulations if you read all this.... Yeah, i do like to write Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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