Vicky Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Ok, I am at work and can't stop crying. My boss gave me a slight reprimand and I pretty much went to pieces. Have been on Abilify for 5 days now, and getting more jittery each day. Had a cup of coffee before I came in which REALLY didn't help. And the reprimand was related to something I have been trying to work thru... ok i know no one really wants to hear my crap but i had recently developed a huge crush on a younger, cute coworker which took off while I was on Neurontin, and I started acting differently and buying hundreds of dollars worth of makeup which i never used to wear. My family (I am married) could tell my voice was different and I was acting strangely. I suspected some sort of hypomania even though I've never been diagnosed BP. Anyway, today I got called out for chatting w/this guy in his office too much. I am over it now pretty much, but I still want to be the guy's friend. So I was horribly embarassed and I feel like a stupid fool and I can't quit crying and I am working the reference desk at the library and I can't have a big red face! My coworkers think I'm nuts probably and I am trying to hold it together, and I don't know how I"m going to get to sleep tonight on this crappy drug... maybe take some benadryl? Or a hydrocodone (I still have some of a scrip)? Or would that combo just finish me off? I feel like an idiot for writing this but there is no one else to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 Sorry to hear about your day, and I hope you're feeling better now. I think it's hard enough when you're stressed about not sleeping, then this happens at work. I think you might want to call your pdoc about the insomnia because it seems to be bothering you a lot, and also tell him/her about the jitteryness. Abilify is a polarising drug, it's either fantastic for people or it just doesn't work (people don't call it Devilify for nothing!). Good luck and be gentle on yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Choosing_the_blue_pills Posted July 27, 2009 Share Posted July 27, 2009 I hope you will be able to get some sleep. Hopefully this feeling will not last long. Maybe the crush was from hypomania, maybe not. People develop feelings without them necessarily having to lead to something else. You are already over him, don't judge yourself over this. Relax. You will be fine. Your boss don't want you to discuss so much with this coworker, it's not the end of the world. Don't feel like an idiot for posting here, we do like to hear and respond to what you have to say. I have not used abilify myself, one of the few AAPs I have not tried, and I can't say anything about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted July 27, 2009 Author Share Posted July 27, 2009 Hey, thank you guys for responding. I appreciate the advice. Devilify--I like that!!!! I thought about calling pdoc, but she's really hard to get ahold of plus I go see her Wednesday, so I can make it til then. Plus, I feel a tad better--took nightly Buspar dose, although feel like heart is racing somewhat. But, again I appreciate ya'lls comments (yes, i am from the south!!!!). So, I think I shall quit taking it til I see pdoc Wednesday. OK, break almost over so I better not be late! Geez, what a day... Thanks again nice people! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Persephone Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Vicky, I had almost the same thing happen with Abilify. Three weeks on a mere 2 mg and I was an anxious, agitated, irritable mess. It can very activating for some people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted July 28, 2009 Author Share Posted July 28, 2009 Vicky, I had almost the same thing happen with Abilify. Three weeks on a mere 2 mg and I was an anxious, agitated, irritable mess. It can very activating for some people. Three weeks???!!! Ugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liveoak Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 ABilify kept me awake for three days. I started cracking up, and showed up at my gdoc's office saying that I couldn't sleep. They called my pdoc and sent me over there as an emergency appt. needless to say, we stopped the abilify and put me back on seroquel. be sure to tell your doc about the hypo behavior.. i think you're onto something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 Went to pdoc tonight and she put me on Valproic Acid 125mg (half of 250 mg. liquid dose). That's a pretty small dose from what I understand. So this is after the nightmare that was Abilify. Which, by the way, gave me some disturbing dreams. So, am crossing my fingers and hoping for some serious mood stabilization for a change. Pdoc still says I do not meet criteria for true BiPolar as my perceived hypomania is still not accompanied by excessive talking, staying awake for days, and other symptoms. But it was distressing enough to me! But she is very cooperative with trying meds that might even me out & help me deal with things like economy tanking (& my nest egg with it), working 2 jobs, and stuff other people could probably handle no sweat. Handling things well has never been a strong suit w/me... She says I did not learn coping techniques from the various folks who raised me. Well, good night to all... Vicky Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Hi Vicky, welcome! Well, you may not know the words to the Bipolar Blues, but you could be humming the tune.... Lets see.. -reduced sleep (doesn't have to be awake for continuous days) -pressured speech (what did you just get reprimanded for) -innapropriate/risky behavior (coworker) -excessive/reckless spending (makeup purchases) -provocative appearance (unusual makeup) The Abilify may have triggered it, or maybe just exagerated things. The Depakote should help level things out, it is an excellent mood stabilizer, and don't forget that mood stabilizers can help with depression and anxiety. You might consider keeping a 'mood diary' of some sort even if it is just a daily note jotted on the calendar. You might see some pattern after a few weeks. Hope you feel better soon. Don't beat yourself up over this incident, the important thing is that you recognized something was wrong and are working with your pdoc. a.m. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Vicky, I'm a fellow librarian on Abilify. It gave me jitters and tremors until my pdoc prescribed Cogentin to counteract it. Tommy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 Hi Vicky, welcome! Well, you may not know the words to the Bipolar Blues, but you could be humming the tune.... Lets see.. -reduced sleep (doesn't have to be awake for continuous days) -pressured speech (what did you just get reprimanded for) -innapropriate/risky behavior (coworker) -excessive/reckless spending (makeup purchases) -provocative appearance (unusual makeup) The Abilify may have triggered it, or maybe just exagerated things. The Depakote should help level things out, it is an excellent mood stabilizer, and don't forget that mood stabilizers can help with depression and anxiety. You might consider keeping a 'mood diary' of some sort even if it is just a daily note jotted on the calendar. You might see some pattern after a few weeks. Hope you feel better soon. Don't beat yourself up over this incident, the important thing is that you recognized something was wrong and are working with your pdoc. a.m. Good points, AirMarshall! When you enumerate it, point by point like that, gosh... Don't know why pdoc won't concede SLIGHT bipolar maybe? Well, I guess she wouldn't have agreed to the Depakote if she didn't think something needed stabilizing! Excellent suggestion about mood journal. Will try it. Thanks for the kind words. V Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vicky Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 Vicky, I'm a fellow librarian on Abilify. It gave me jitters and tremors until my pdoc prescribed Cogentin to counteract it. Tommy So you can tolerate the Abilify with Cogentin? That's great. I'm just a Library Clerk, don't have a master's!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted July 30, 2009 Share Posted July 30, 2009 Yes, it has worked well for me. Tommy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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