manatee Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Ok I feel really stupid first of all since I have been diagnosed Bipolar one for thirty years (also Socially phobic, PTSD, incest survivor and feel that I should perhaps have known better. first thanks for being here, I am now living in a Spanish speaking country feeling very isolated and depressed with no one to talk with an no where to go... so it is good to have somewhere to vent.. Please first, don't yell at me, since I simply do not have the options that some of you have. Could not afford to be in the States anyway, lived there for years without insurance and after 25 years of lithium ,,, when my hair fell out, turned gray, gained 100 pounds and just got stupid... was not really even able to start the real work on recovery from incest etc until I got off lithium unto depakote then topamax... then from topamax to the high vitamins from true hope which really kept me ok stable along with a good regime of watching myself, my sleep, my diet, keeping my interactions with people very limited. etc. now i am lucky since I have family money which is locked up so that I get a monthly check which is enough for me to live here... not well in the States but here I do ok.. and I am a kind and friendly person for the most part.... people like me,.... I have managed to successfully relocate here, make a few friends,do some writing, so I am pretty proud of that... but the reality of my life is that I isolate spend 12 to 14 hours on my computer..... I did just start back up on meds about three weeks ago (topamax which has worked well for me)so they should be kicking in soon) I am not suicidal, just depressed Since I was pretty much off meds for five years, and only had one brush with hypomania in the time, was able to control it with Zyprexa (I can buy most psych meds here over the counter)... i have had free lance work here as a journalist and am trying a bit to reinvent myself and get more energy to write more.... get connected more i am just so lonely i need to connect with some people that i can talk with Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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