psychosocialworker Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 hello all. i'm new to all of this, forums, being crazy, taking meds, the whole nine yards. i guess i have always been a little strange, as a little child i had an unhealthy fear of being kidnapped, i would check to make sure i could fit in the dryer on a regular basis because that was my secret hiding spot from the monster that i was so sure would take me. still to this day that fear strikes home with me, unfortunately i can't fit in the dryer anymore. i have always been a very hyper person, but always saw the down side of things. the wierd part for me is that i would wish for some kind of tragedy to happen??? any way, i started using drugs at the age of 13, i used until i was 20, i did everything except herion. my favorite has always been the simplicity of otc caffene pills. that's my current addiction. i like to be hyper...hyper. when i went to treatment for the first time i was put on antidepressants. i don't remember why, i think it is just what they do when you go to rehab. as i have become an adult life has gotten more difficult though. about 4 years ago i was first diagnosed with adhd, no meds though. i was already on antidepressants, effexor and amitryptaline. about a year ago i found out i can't have children and my world just about ended. i had somewhat of a breakdown. all of my fears rose to the surface, that thing about being kidnapped, fear of being in a car accident, fear of fallling and breaking my leg. everything just became scary to me. and i resented the world. all that i had previously been working for seemed pointless. why build a life if i can't bring a child into this world to share it with? and my relationship...what a joke. i was so sure that he was going to leave me that my paranoia just about pushed him away. anyway, i started seeing a psychologist and was diagnosed with generalized anxiety, depression and bipolar. for the first time i was on real meds. risperdal and effexor. i still am not sure that i am really bipolar?? the only thing that convinces me is that the meds actually seem to work. i can relax in a car, for the most part. i'm not crying about my relationship all the time. and i even rode roller coasters without the overwhelming thought that i was going to die. so the risperdal seems to work wonders for my mental state, except i have like all the side effects. i'm super lazy, i have gained 30 lbs., i lactate, i have horrible acne on my face, shoulders and back, and well to be quite frank, sex is boring. so i recently heard about topamax. just today i talked to my doc and we are switching me over. i start my new script tomorrow. hmmm...is that really an introduction of me?? somebody respond and tell me i sound crazy cus i feel pretty normal...sorta...sometimes...maybe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~nestling~ Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkthorn Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Welcome. Everyone's nice, you'll get heaps of information on med/disorders/every bit of crap relating (and sometimes not relating) to craziness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velvet Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 I think you did a fine job introducing yourself, Its really nice to meet you, I hope you'll like it here Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyGypsy Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Greetings & welcome psychosocialworker! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Welcome, from one psycho social worker (well, not quite) to another! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyzr Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Welcome Psychosocialworker!! I also question my BP diagnosis... I think a lot of us have doubts like that here and there. But regardless of the diagnosis, it's most important to get our symptoms under control. The lack of libido is likely a product of the Effexor... SSRIs will do that to you. I've had the same problem in the past with both Paxil and Lexapro - very common side effect, and unfortunately it's not one of them that typically wears off. I hope you stick around and find as much help and support here as I have. Try the live chat, too... lots of good folks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Emperor Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Welcome! You'll like it here, I do a lot. I liked your introduction! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkendHour Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Choosing_the_blue_pills Posted August 4, 2009 Share Posted August 4, 2009 Well, around here you're normal. That does not mean you don't have MI, on the contrary. Glad the meds work. Sad you can't have kids. Life is more than kids, but I know that is a lot easier to say when you can have kids. I kind of also have problems with my sex drive. Welcome to crazyboards. Hope you will like it here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted August 5, 2009 Share Posted August 5, 2009 Welcome to our little nuthouse, psycho. I'm glad you've found us and I hope we can be a good source of information for you. If I could make one little suggestion: a lot of folks here have ADD or other difficulties with reading big blocks of print. You will get more responses and interest in your posts if you hit the return key every 2 or 3 sentences. I'm just getting older, so that's my excuse for why it's hard to read long blocks of print. Please PM one of the mods if you have a question, and be sure to check out chat and the blogs. We have lots of fun around here, talking to each other. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psychosocialworker Posted August 5, 2009 Author Share Posted August 5, 2009 thank you everyone for your kind words. olga, thanks so much for the return key suggestion. i myself struggled with reading my millions of lines all jammed together, but i never thought to hit return...so simple i look forward to getting to know you all through this journey of life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodtogo Posted August 6, 2009 Share Posted August 6, 2009 Greetings psychosocialworker from a fellow newbie. Love the screename and hope you gain empowerment from this website. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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