penxpaper217 Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Well, I'm not sure what to say. I'm a nineteen year old writer and college student. I have social anxiety and borderline personality disorder. I'm not currently getting any kind of treatment because my family doesn't believe there is anything wrong with me and I can't afford to pay for help myself. Most of my friends don't understand, at all, what I'm going through, so I'm looking for a place where I can talk about my issues and actually get feedback. I'm also looking for help, advice and information regarding borderline personality disorder. Thanks for reading! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eldorado Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Welcome penxpaper217. Sorry about your problems with your family. This may sound hard, but if your family didn't believe that your leg was broken when it was, you'd still desperately seek treatment. Don't be afraid to get in there and swing an elbow or two if that's what it takes. This MI stuff is not like a summer cold, it's not going to get any better untreated, nor will it just "pass". This is a great place for feed back, jump in. As far as your friends not really understanding, some might just not care, but even the ones who do, if it's something, anything, outside of their frame of reference, it will be hard for them to ever totally understand. Hang in there and keep fighting, it is possible to build your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penxpaper217 Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 This may sound hard, but if your family didn't believe that your leg was broken when it was, you'd still desperately seek treatment. Don't be afraid to get in there and swing an elbow or two if that's what it takes. This MI stuff is not like a summer cold, it's not going to get any better untreated, nor will it just "pass". That's part of the reason I'm here I'm hoping to get suggestions of how I can obtain proper help/treatment. I'm willing to bet I'm not the only person who's ever been in this situation. I'm really just starting to come to terms with the fact that I do need help to get through this, whether or not anyone else believes (in) me. Getting rejected by my family and unhelpful school counselors over the years left me doubting a lot, especially before I learned about borderline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~nestling~ Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Welcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluelikejazz Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Hi, welcome to CB. That's a lot to be dealing with on your own. If you let us know what country you are in we can probably find some way for you to get affordable treatment. Who diagnosed you? Did they recommend any sort of therapy? If you search for DBT on the personality disorders board there's some information there that might be helpful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darkthorn Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Welcome Your college might have some services to offer for classes and things. I'm glad that you are looking to find help, doing it on your own all the time is horribly difficult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Choosing_the_blue_pills Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Welcome to CB! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkendHour Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Welcome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyzr Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Welcome! Stick around and browse the boards. There's a great number of helpful people and information here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penxpaper217 Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 If you let us know what country you are in we can probably find some way for you to get affordable treatment. Who diagnosed you? Did they recommend any sort of therapy? I'm in the U.S., I go to school in Chicago & live there most of the year, if it helps. I have a tenative diagnosis from my general physician, and a school counselor, but haven't had access to a psychiatrist for formal assessment. Obviously, both have reccommended that I see one, but I can't afford it on my own and am without any support from my family on the matter. I have trouble holding down jobs, especially because of my social anxiety & my learning disorder (dyscalculia). I fit the criteria for BPD exactly, with anecdotal evidence for each of the 9 points at some point or another, with almost all of them being very consistent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyzr Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 You said you've got a speculative diagnosis from your school counselor. Is that someone at your university or a high school? If you're in college, you should be able to go to student counseling services and, at the very least, get free counseling sessions. This person should be able to help you find affordable help fo meds in the area. Also, if you're in Chicago, I'm positive there are mental health clinics that will provide income-sensitive help. They will have a psychiatrist or a pychiatric/mental health nurse practitioner to work with you on meds. Those types of places often have a pharmacy in their facility that work on an income-sensitive basis as well. Before I had insurance, I went to a non-profit clinic that offered drugs for $5 per drug, per month. Thats it. So, if you're on 3 meds, the most you'd pay a month was $15. I live in a much smaller city than Chicago, so I'm sure there's something out there for you. Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penxpaper217 Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 You said you've got a speculative diagnosis from your school counselor. Is that someone at your university or a high school? If you're in college, you should be able to go to student counseling services and, at the very least, get free counseling sessions. This person should be able to help you find affordable help fo meds in the area. It's from both my regular physician and a counselor at my college. I went to my college's counseling center for a few weeks, until my counselor said some things I couldn't accept including "You're functioning most of the time. It's okay to just be going through the motions and not be okay." That was her attitude towards helping me and she didn't put a lot of effort into helping me find the services I needed, when I asked repeatedly. She kept pushing me to see a specific doctor that I couldn't afford, no matter how many times I explained my situation. I've tried to get in to a few clinics around the city, especially ones run by universities because they usually operate on sliding scales, but the waiting lists were either huge (signed up for a few back in October '08, still haven't heard back, even with calling for updates) or no one ever got back to me at all. I'm not giving up though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mudpuppy Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I'm glad you're here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspired_Neurosis Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Hi there. Writer and student here as well. What kind of pieces do you author? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penxpaper217 Posted August 13, 2009 Author Share Posted August 13, 2009 Hi there. Writer and student here as well. What kind of pieces do you author? Oh, I dabble in a little bit of everything. I'd like to finish writing a novel eventually, but I've had a lot more success with prose poetry and plays as far as publishing and general interest in my work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mudpuppy Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Looking forward to a blog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mudpuppy Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 I may have accidentally clicked the "report" button on this post. Sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyzr Posted August 13, 2009 Share Posted August 13, 2009 Sorry to misinterpret what you'd said about diagnosis. Didn't mean to misunderstand. At any rate, I'm sorry you've had such a trying time getting help. NOT fun at all. Have you tried any of the non-university clinics? I sometimes forget that bigger cities also means more overload on clinics. Another place you might try is Planned Parenthood. They won't be able to give you counseling or crazy meds, but they may be able to give some suggestions on where to go. It depends on the office, but they're often quite helpful as far as helping women in general. You'd have to call some of these places, but here's a link to the City of Chicago Department of Public Health's list of mental health services. I'm not sure what they offer, but it's certainly worth a try. Hope that helps some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkendHour Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I know calling around is a pain but I've found that places that don't even "advertise" as having sliding scales for payments some times will sill work with you based on your income/what you can affored. Sometimes you have to talk to the actual pdoc (person who prescribes your medication) or tdoc (person who does your therapy) in order to get the redused rate but if you get the help you need its worth the extra work in the end. Hope you are able to get in somewhere soon. Oh yea, I don't know if you have a hospital in your area that offers Mental Health survices in an out patient format but if you do hospitals are usually awesome for low/no income options (at least around here) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysterious Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 Welcome! Sounds like a tough situation trying to get treatment. I just wanted to add my support and encourage you to keep trying. I'm in the UK and our healthcare system is totally different, so I can't really make any suggestions. But I know what it's like not being able to access a pdoc or therapy... It sucks, but don't give up. You do deserve proper help! I write poetry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ophelia Posted August 14, 2009 Share Posted August 14, 2009 I understand that you did not like what the school counselor had to say to you or the fact that she barely made an effort to try and find you the necessary help outside of their facility. That is understandable. I am sure that your counseling center has more than one counselor, though. Might it be possible for you to see one of the other available individuals? Maybe one of them might be of some assistance. Your school should definitely have resources about doctors in the area (psychiatrists, psychologists, clinics). They should also have the names of doctors and clinics that work on a sliding scale. Your GP gave you this tentative assessment...? So the GP senses and has made note that he/she believes that you might be having some difficulty from a psychological standpoint...? Correct? Do your parents know your GP? If they do, do you think that they would value you his/her opinion and honor any referrals her/she might give you/them? What is it that your parents won't accept? Have you actually tried confronting them or having your GP confront them? Keep in mind that you don't have to go into Borderline Personality Disorder territory in trying to get them to allow you to seek help (making it easier and cheaper for you). You are over 18, so your parents do not have the right no know everything you would be receiving treatment for (unless you want them to). Would it more more acceptable to them if your GP suggests that you see a pdoc due to the fact that he/she thinks that you are under a severe amount of stress at school and is worried about how you are handling yourself? Or that you are having trouble sleeping? These are just suggestions... maybe bad ones... I'm rushing and haven't slept for two days. Sorry if I make no sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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