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Anyone else on many meds?


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I'm on six, as the sig shows. They all do something. I'm in the process of changing some of them (again), but it's more like replacing them with something else than dropping them. Something for mania, something for depression, something for general mood stabilizing, and something for anxiety are all a necessity in my world.

Edited because I can't count.

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You can see by my siggie that I'm on many meds. Each one adds, in some way, to my stability. Is anyone else on a lot of meds, but afraid to drop any?

Yes I am on a lot. The real question is do these cocktails work and if they do then it is not too much. As long as the side effects are manageable.

nf

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sig.

want to drop all for God's sake but can't

Life sucks

;) I talk about SI. I don't want to trigger anyone.

Ditto. I used to think I would someday be able to drop everything. I don't think it's gonna happen. Anti-dep, adhd med, pain meds up the ying yang. I will say the antidepressants have produced an emotional floor that I don't dip below now. SI has been way down last 6 months or so. I still think about it

often, but it is more of a detached, non-emotional analysis of suicide. As a matter of fact I - can't really explain what has happened to my mind, but I feel like if I can't get off of these meds I don't know. I used to be very physical. My body is screwed

now and I will never lift anything over 5 fricken pounds. Get milk out of the refrigerator and it feels like I got hit by a truck. I can't even go to the store. A shower is a big day for me now. I could go on and on and I might have to go start a thread, I hate this shit. What the hell good is life if you can't fricken do ANYTHING?! It's just one thing after another.

I am so spaced out now I can't focus on anything. I am having trouble with words like - table, car, pants - wtfh!? I would definitely have to amputate my neck if I had to face my headaches w/o my meds. I have tried several times and I end up freezing my ass off from laying on ice packs begging for :).

Thought broadcasting. I have done this forever. I am still afraid to tell my psych how I really feel and think, because I am fucking nuts. I can't believe the shit that goes through my rotting head. I don't know how in the hell I have lived this long. I walk in front of cars and the assholes don't even have the decency to run over me, FUCKERS!!! I should not type I have

not slept for days. I am so tired of this shit. I don't want to touch anybody anymore. I get nauseus now and just thank god I won't have to fuck up the world even more much longer. I'm afraid to write what I think will happen to me soon. I feel very sorry for you people that have to put up with your MI or chronic pain, ptsd, everything on the board.

I can't believe. I forgot. I fear being paralyzed. Then I won't even be able to blow my head off. That is my reality. I don't know what I'm going to do. The problem with painkillers is that tolerance builds and the rollercoaster thing sucks ass. If you are on them long enough your body changes for the worse.

And just the whole goddamn stigma surrounding them. And the dickhead, ignoramous doctors you have to fuck around with. Stupid, pompous, unregulated, condecending, mean, callous - well they are victims of life themselves. They can't help it. There lives suck too. Just a different room in hell.

I am sorry I vented on your thread. This is the only place that will allow me to really say what is on my mind.

If you have read this - don't let this dark cloud I just layed get you down. You are not me - rejoice! I was put here to suffer. There is no other explanation.

Has any human really been happy? Are they just pretending that they like other people and their species? My body is a prison made of pain and I am nuts. I am pretty sure that is why I am unhappy. Are others just acting? Are they robots/agents? Seriously when I talk to people it is like they could not be real.

There thought processes and their positive attitudes with their perfect little fucking childhoods.

So if life is not fair and you believe you are a piece of shit - and you have been hated and forced onto the goddam streets as a child? wtf? Ok thats it I am making an appt with my psychiatrist, but can't tell him the truth. If I go in-patient they will cut my pain meds and I will go crazy and everybody will get a good laugh and a story when they go home and I will be screaming like a wild animal begging for a bullet in the head. Nobody gets to hurt me again. I swear to god. It wasn't so bad until my back screwed up.

They don't know I AM AT MY FUCKING LIMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I used to be on 6 (7 one time) mental meds, but I've gradually narrowed it down to 3, plus one quasi-mental med (topamax). The topamax is much more for my migraine prevention than for my mental state. I also have Vistoril, which was used for akasthisia, which I no longer use either.

Now, pain meds, I take more of those than my mental meds. I have the "not so bad" med, another "not so bad" pain med, the "bad migraine pain med", the "really bad knee pain" med, the "pain meds are making me throw up" med, and the "pain med is making me nauseous" med.

Plus my son's ADHD med and my daughter's liquid zantac.

Of course, I also have an entire cabinet full of previously prescribed mental meds.

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I'm 'down to' 6 (5 if you count regular adderall and adderall xr as the same med) but it's still a lot to me--

that said, no way in hell am I messing with it.

stability is beautiful and I'm so lucky to have it that I'm not planning on rocking the boat if I can help it.

even though people gawk at someone 'so young' being on 'so many' meds (am 22),

I've made my peace with it and am okay with my cocktail since it works so well for me-

back when I had a pill box full of meds that weren't working is when I had issue with the specific number overall, if you know what I mean.

should go to bed, but to put my stance in a nutshell: if the pros outweigh the cons (benefits outweigh side-effects, etc.) then why stick some arbitrary number on it?

imo, my mood and my life are what matter, not the size of my day-of-the-week pill case.

m

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I think the med cocktail is the only way to go. One medication can't take care of all my problems. But I sometimes wish I could just not have to take any-medications ties you down-if you forget to take it, you feel like crap; have to see your overpriced psychiatrist; what if you go on vacation and forget it?? I've tried every med on the planet it seems like' here is my current cocktail: Cymbalta 60mg. Abilify 10mg, Lamictal 200mg, Klonopin 1mg, Xanax XR 1mg

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Depends on what you mean by "a lot." I think that 3 meds that aren't effective, are detrimental, or redundant are "a lot," but 8 that work well together to promote stability is the "perfect" amount. I think I am on "a lot" but more because I am not certain of the effects or reasons for the different meds. I started my med journey 3 years ago at age 22 (well the journey actually began when I was 15-16 but it didn't last long.) In that time, I've had many life changes (graduating college, losing insurance, moving to a different state, going to grad school, getting different jobs with different insurances) that have resulted in different pdocs (and, unfortunately, different meds as different ones have seemed to have vastly different ideas). I sought medication treatment at a time when I was in an abusive relationship (which was triggering the "big abuse" in my past), and the "answer" was probably to leave the relationship, not to medicate the emotional effects of being in it. I started on Zoloft and it seems that over the next 3 years I just "collected" meds-- as I saw a new provider, maybe one AD was changed for another, something was added but nothing ever taken away. My pdoc now (who I like and trust and feel comfortable with) is in the process of tapering me off *most* of my meds (i.e. whatever I can tolerate) so we can see what are my actual symptoms, what's a side-effect or med induced, what "needs" to be medicated, what doesn't. We don't even know what my "diagnosis" is (aside from PTSD, which has been said since I was 15, and PMDD, which the OBGYN says).

3 months ago, I was on: Lamictal 150mg, Wellbutrin 150mgXL, Zoloft 75mg, Seroquel 50mg, Klonopin 0.25mg (basically 1/4 of a 1mg if I'm "extra anxious" at night), BC pill

Currently: Zoloft 75mg. Off of the Lamictal completely as of 3 weeks ago, currently tapering the Wellbutrin-- on 50mg. That means I have to take less Seroquel (like 37.5mg) because the Seroquel was the only thing that helped me sleep while on Wellbutrin but is too sedating without it. Klonopin 0.25mg at night. Still BC pills.

Possible trigger below? Trigger.gif

It hasn't been completely painless but so far everything is manageable, and I certainly don't feel worse. I am scared to drop the Zoloft, especially because I've tried to get off twice but the withdrawals were horrible. (I know I will have to go much slower.) I'm especially afraid I'll never get off a "sleep aid"-- I began taking tylenol PM/benadryl every night to sleep about 6 years ago (my ex would wake me up in the middle of the night, drunk/high, to be an abusive asshole. I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep after, but I realized that if I had a sleeping pill in my system, I could get back to sleep quickly and be able to function in the AM at work/school as if nothing had ever happened. And of course after awhile my body came to need that to fall asleep, even after the relationship was over.) When I started getting "real meds", I was put on "real" sleep meds...and it seems like each med has gotten stronger and stronger. I'm really scared about that one. But I'm getting ahead of myself now. I do find myself hoping/believing that I won't "always" be on meds, but doesn't everyone have that?

Disclaimer: in no way am I advocating for people to not take their meds or to go off to "see if they're working". Sorry so long, this post definitely touched on something that's been relevant in my life currently.

<3,

Sam

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Erm Im on Zyprexa Haldol Lithium Topamax Prozac Diazepam Lorazepam and Nitrazepam - so thats 8 it takes to glue me somewhat shakily together - I am no longer suicidal (thank you lithium) but still quite manicky and pyschotic despite me mammoth cocktail

blackbird x

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Yeah, I find myself on no fewer than 5 meds at any given point in time, more if I'm on an antibiotics course. Having gone through (and still having symptoms of) meningitis that left me with a parkinson-like syndrome also helped add to the pile...

Right now, I'm on Cymbalta, Lamictal, and Remeron for depression -- and the Remeron also helps with the gastroparesis and acid reflux I had after my initial bout with meningitis.

Clonazepam and oxybutynin (Ditropan) are for post-meningitis Parkinson issues... clonazepam for REM behavioral disorder (acting out dreams, although have only fully departed my bed once so far), and the Ditropan for excessive sweating with fluid loss (imagine drenching in sweats in 70F weather to the point of fainting, all for no known reason).

Then there's the hormonal replacement... Synthroid (levothyroxine) for having Hashimoto (autoimmune) hypothyroiditis, and my endocrinologist is looking to put me on testosterone replacement therapy since I have genetic issues w/that hormone and sometimes the T drops well below normal.

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