gizmo Posted October 22, 2009 Share Posted October 22, 2009 I'll be honest with you, I feel a bit like ol' Andy, cause the pdoc is tweaking my zyprexa to see if I can get med relief without akathesia. WTF? I don't get it. I was on 20mg for two months in September/October 08 with no problems, and it worked great on my mania. I have this big, WEIRD mania (all restlessness and irritation and agitation and spending) and I try 20 mg and I'm crawling off the walls cause I can't sit down. So I go down to 15mg. Still can't get calmed down. So I go down to 10mg. Doing fine on the akathesia front, but not so hot on the mood front. Just about made my daughter cry this week over a homework paper cause I was frustrated (don't I feel like world's shittiest mom) and I'm still pretty agitated about stuff. Did I mention the spending??? So the doc wants to up the zyprexa, using zydis (my suggestion on the zydis, thanks Andy) and see if the feeling subside. I asked for Cogentin (never took it before) and he gave me a script. I'm taking 15mg for a few days, then bumping up to 20mg. But I hate this tweaking shit. I hate messing with the akathesia. Why did I get it now, and not before? Why is my mood still altered? Or is pissed off and unfocused just the new me? What the doc really wants to do is dope me up with enough benzos so that I won't notice I'm feeling this way. But I won't take them like I'm supposed to, and I flat out told him I wouldn't take klonopin 3x's a day if my life depended on it (too many dependency issues/just my baggage). It's bad enough that I have to take 2mg of xanax at a time to get calmed down because I'm that accustomed to it - I don't need to take it every day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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