crazygirltoo Posted October 26, 2009 Share Posted October 26, 2009 Hi Crazyboards- I found this place last night during an internet search. Once I read all the forum headings and descriptions and laughed my tiny ass off, I thought I might have stumbled on someplace that might really help me. I have had uncontrolled anxiety for about eight years, working with a Internal Medicine doc on countless SSRIs and Xanax. (Which, despite reservations, he let me have, it was (and still is) a godsend for anxious times and panic attacks and even when I wake with the screaming meemees in the night.) After a switch in insurance companies about three years ago and my tenth failed SSRI, I got a prescriber referral to a shrink. He thought I had anxiety coupled with PTSD. Sent me home with Cymbalta, which lead to the most manic three days of my life and what my teenaged son still calls "Mom's Cymbalta Week". I had never felt that out of my head, but happy and energetic and not sleepy in my life. My SO called me on it after 72 hours of no sleep and total run amock-ness. The doc pulled me off that and decided that I was bipolar. Started on Lamictal, which helped with tons of issues I had had for years (migraine, sleep issues, mood and anger for starters) It was great. Then I lost my insurance and had to stop. After about six months, I scraped up the cash to go see the doc again and get back on the meds, he got me into a prescription drug program and (omg) FREE meds. I started titrating onto the Lamictal and within a week was totally manic again. <sigh> So he prescribed Zyprexa for the mania and wanted me to start Lithium and Abilify for the bipolar. I just couldn't do it. I tried, but I just couldn't. Almost all of the meds I have talked about so far have not worked as advertised. The Lithium made me so sick to my stomach and I couldn't take Phenergen because of the Abilify. Both Abilify and Zyprexa made me zombie like. I lasted about 10 days on those meds, then stopped taking them. It has been about six more months since then. I really want to feel better. I have anxiety and anger that cycles to manic activity, no true depression. It is really hard to deal with the lack of energy on most of the meds. I hate staying in bed or getting nothing done. What I really want to do is try the Lamical again. My SO is not excited about that idea, since the last try was not so great. I am not sure I can get the doc to even agree, as he thinks I need something more to stabilize. Okay, sorry, too much for an introduction. I am holding down a great job and a family that I am in charge of and feel like I can't take any time off for my crazy shit. I also try very hard to live in Egypt (you know, de Nile?) so I don't have to worry more about having another swing I can't handle. So, I guess that is the beginining of this for me. Hoping to find inspiration for talking to the doc, the boyfriend, work, etc. And a place where I can talk about how I really feel, since mostly I feel like I can't do that here at home. or work. or with friends or family. Thanks a bunch if you got through this all. I appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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