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hi y'all

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I've been lurking for several months (dependant upon mood), and regretted that I haven't introduced myself yet.

I'm bipolar, pdoc hasn't specified to me verbally beyond possibly bp2... although I've had one strong manic episode that indicates (based on my limited research) bp1.  For several months prior to manic ep, I had a high level of stress.

Current mix is lithium and depakote daily, just below normal therapeutic levels.  Very low level of Risperdal at the onset of breakthrough mania, which does the trick (sedation to the point that I can concentrate again). I drink too much caffeine and smoke too much nicotine, and am phasing both out in what seems to me the least painful way.

I've been depressed, 2-3 tdocs (one was reserved, and a counselor for unrelated matter) have confirmed mild to moderate depression.  I did not see a tdoc as a teen, but can point to symptoms of more severe depression since adolescence.  Fortunately, I do not have desires to end things when I'm depressed; however I am very nihilistic.

But, I've read a great deal that's helped me deal with the stigma and wanted to say "thanks" before I mustered the courage to post anything else.  Y'all rock.

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