Aanga Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 I never really know how to do these intro things. And I'm not particularly good with opening up to people, so I suppose the internet is really the easiest alternative for me. I'm glad I found this forum and I hope that I can find people that understand how my head works so I can learn how it works myself. I really want to learn from people who've been through or have something similar to what I have so that I can learn how to deal with this better. So, uh, I guess a bit about me. I'm a 23 year old university female. I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, ADHD, and PTSD. I've had therapists say that I have an adjustment disorder and that I "depersonalize" when I start to talk about my past or just start to feel crappy... I suppose that's what it wrong with my head. Enough doctors have all said the same thing. The bipolar/ADHD thing has been something that my doctors have said I've had since I was like 6 or 7. My parents are extremely anti-psychiatry and anti-medications and have always refused to admit that there's something wrong with my brain. So I went unmedicated and untreated for years. I tried to kill myself when I was 7, but was never hospitalized. My parents said I was just looking for attention. They're not bad people, I know I've not been the best daughter. In high school I thought a lot about suicide. In university everything just got worse. I started to get really, really, really happy, and I thought it meant I was over that "teen angst", but I later realized how badly I'd hurt people while I was happy. I've been in and out of therapy for years now, and I've finally found a therapist that I am comfortable with, but I can only see him twice a month, and I find it really hard to talk to him. This is the first year that I've agreed to be on meds. I didn't like how they made me feel so I quit like...4 or so months ago. My mood has become so unstable since then that my therapist said I really need to go back on my meds or checking into a hospital if I get any worse. So...uh...yea I guess that's an intro and sort of where I'm at. I don't entirely know what to expect from this forum, but I'm hoping to gain a bit of an education of who I am. And maybe find comfort or something, I don't know. I'd just like to understand what's wrong with my head, and try to figure out how to feel somewhat normal...and I want to know where these stupid disorders end and my actual personality begins. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Emperor Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Glad you found us. Really, hang out for a little bit, it's a good place with good people and you'll find plenty of people to relate to. I understand the bit about wanting to know where your disorders end and personality begins, I wonder that about myself constantly, I'm sure plenty of people here do. I'm glad you are going to get back on meds. They can make you feel shitty at first, or all together, but then you just keep on trying new ones. It's a real bitch sometimes, but eventually you'll find something that makes you feel human. That's the idea anyway. I hope you find something soon. There's blogs here and a chat room, and all the forums. Hope to hear from you soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grousemouse Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 hi and welcome to the boards. that was a really good intro. i wouldn't give up on meds. nobody finds their ideal cocktail the first time around. it takes experimentation on you and your pdoc's part. and patience. ohhhhhh so much patience. good luck, grouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Welcome to our little home, and I hope you find some good information here. As Grousemouse said, it may take a while to find the combination of meds that is right for you. Don't give up on it yet because meds can make an amazing difference in your life. Don't be afraid to ask questions---this is a friendly crowd. For the most part. heh olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aanga Posted December 3, 2009 Author Share Posted December 3, 2009 Thanks for welcoming me. It's more reassuring, heh. I wont have counseling until early January again due to the holidays, so I guess I'll be spending a decent amount of time on here o.O Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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