Polarbirdy Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Hi... I've been searching and reading stuff for a couple of days (or nights...) now and just thought i'd ask your opinion. I'm BP II and currently on 1000 mg valproic acid, have been since july. It's my first and only pharmacy medication. Started with 800mg which was an improvement but didn't do enough, gettinng up to 1200 i had a great week and a half somewhere there, so after finding out that 1200mg gave me constant nausea went back to 1000 mg. That was quite good for a while, but now it's been just downhill for a month or more... Gradually week after week depression coming back and even bad sides of hypomania. Also the slowing down of metabolism is clogging up my skin and, giving me cellulite, more stinky sweat and some weight (which i don't mind, though, being skinny). The only thing it feels like it's doing right now is keeping my teerible tiredness at bay, then, of course i abuse it by staying up till 3 am..... Initially when i started feeling worse, my psychiatrist (sorry, i'm not used to those pdoc and tdoc words... they sound silly.... convenient but silly... ) wanted to lower my dose again, but i didnt because i did;t want to constatly change it and have to go back up again later, which always gives me nausea for a while. Now, to get to the point... I wont be able to see a psychiatrist that i trust (i guess?) until sometime next year. I should be able to see someone before that but i want to know what i'm doing. I have a good therapist and i do take her advise but she's very pro SSRI and i'm scared of a lot of their side-effects. So the question is: What suggestions would you have (possible yes's and absolute/probable no's), considering these facts: - Bi-polar II - mostly depressed and mixed, haven't had a decent length happy time for more than 3 years now - Hypomanias aren't too crazy, never done anything i regret, mostly just love life (and everyone and everything and feel like i can do anything - and get heaps done too) - Absolutely don't want to lose any weight at all - Scared of sexual side-effects; loss of libido; can't afford that - Tend to have slight skin problems, history of acne and now get rash from stress. Don't remember to drink enough either. Man i'd freak out on lamictal etc i think, constantly thinking i've got The R now... ;P - Before Valpro, i was endlessly tired, i didn't even realise i was depressed again (in denial tho). I felt like i'd been tired for 6 years or something. Now im not tired but coupld sleep as much as i want to (and i want to ). So all sedative drugs scare me too, cause i'm actually really enjoying not being tired and being able to choose whether or not to sleep for the first time in ages. I also really really need to get more things done now, i dont have any motivation I need to finish my studies, i need to work. I need energy, and stop feeling that nothing matters and nothing awaits in the future anyway so why bother... Ok, i confess, i just want my hypos back :) And no-one's going to prescribe me that are they. But Yeah, just wondering if i should think about adding an AD of some soft, or another mood stabilaser, or possiblysomething else. My thererapist thinks the MS has stabilased me, but too low, so maybe AD could help. I partly agree, partly not. I've felt a lot more stable mostly, i havet had such ups and downs (especially no ups...) but yeah, recently, i'm dipping in the stupid dark waters again.. Anyway, this was probably a useless post, i'll have to talk to the medical pro's... and i feel dumb for keeping myself up till 3 , yes, just because i can.......... especially knowing that ideal for me is 9-10 pm to bed. well. I'll feel crappy tomorrow. Plus i have a social event. Yay, lovely combination. Thanks for reading, i'm sure all this could have been said in like 4 words or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaSue Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Lamictal might be a really good choice for you. It's a mood stabilizer, but is often more effective for people who tend more towards the depressive side. It definitely has a better side effect profile than depakote. I don't think it causes acne, or any of the other random weirdnesses you're getting with dep, and it's usually weight neutral, though you said that's not a big concern for you. The most common side effect is probably headaches. There is a rare but very serious side effect called Stevens Johnsons Syndrome, the first sign of which is a rash. Because of it, lamictal titration is a sloooowww process, which is kind of a pain. And you need to keep an eye out for rashes, which far and away most people do not get. FWIW, SSRI's usually have way fewer side effects than depakote does, and you seem to managing ok with those. I don't know that an antidepressant makes sense for you right now, since I think you said you'd been kind of mixed, but at some point it might. I actually can't imagine what side effects of SSRI's could possibly be so scary? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneMarie Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 MS is what? I keep thinking MicroSoft and am pretty sure that's not it. If your mood is cycling (going between depressed and mixed), an antidepressant is probably not such a good idea. All meds effect people uniquely. That includes side effects. What one gets another does not. You won't know until you try for yourself. Lamictal can be a very good med for bipolar depression. It also affords some stabilization while being a med with a low side effect profile. Lithium can be a very effective med, too, but you absolutely have to stay hydrated. I really like Lamictal and Lithium, FWIW. Antipsychotics are the answer for some. The name is just the name of a class of drugs. They are used for many things besides psychosis including anxiety and sleep on occasion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polarbirdy Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 Sasha; yeah i was wondering about Lamictal, too, but since i tend to get rashes anyway, i'm just wondering if i would be more prone to get the horrible one?? At the moment i have like a palm sized patch on my back that i keep scratching especially in my sleep... The SSRI side-effects that scare me are namely loss of libido; been there and don't want to go again (not due to meds, just life) Stacia; MS= Mood stabiliser... oh no, i though i got the hang of the lingo Anywayz, yeah i know generally anti-depressant for someone who's also mixed might not be good, but see i'm trying to cheat here and get people to recommend and prescribe me my hypomania back No really, i just need to get up somehow, and to be honest, i'm not quite sure sometimes if i'm mixed or if i'm just crazy eccentric by nature which i am too (except when i'm shy and antisocial of course......) I think i need to get more info about antipsychotics etc......they seem to be mostly sedative though which i dont want either... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catnapper Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 I like Lamictal a lot, and I have very sensitive skin and didn't get "the rash", although the wrong soap or latex gloves will make me break out, along with other things too numerous to mention. It takes a while to get up to the right dose, and I had headaches for a few days after every dose increase, but nothing terrible. SSRIs turned me into a zombie and destroyed my libido (I fell asleep on myself!), but lots of people swear by them. Hopefully you'll get good advice from your pdoc. (I also didn't like "pdoc" when I first got here, and it took a while to get all the abbreviations down pat!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Polarbirdy Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Yeah, i forgot to say that another big worry for me about the SSRI's is the numbness - if anything, i don't want to turn into a zombie, that would be the worst. Especially considering that i need to stay creative not just for my basic mental health but for my "career" (which is not going anywhere because i dont care ) Catnapper, i see you're on Lamictal and Wellbutrin, something that i've been wondering about... Or Valpro + wellbutrin... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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