No Drinks Club

[inspaces]

The NO drinks club

This is for the weak at heart

This doesn't mean you can't ever drink again

You just can't drink today

and you have to say this everyday

you know who you are.....

1. the lineup of meds are already taxing your liver

2. the drinks bring on the deep ugly depression the meds are trying to keep at bay

3. the hangovers not only drive you depression deeper, they are far worse than ever before

********worse hangovers are because your liver can't deal with the meds + booze********

4. While some nights you can get away with 1 or 2.... other nights its like 6+

We are the ones that our friends and family may not even know our problems with alcohol

****and we never tell them******

So come one, come all....

I'm at 5 weeks tonight.... this was a hard post to create because I'm putting myself on the line, making myself accountable ....

take a stand

make a commitment

right now

and post often - when it is easy and you feel proud of avoiding drinks AND when it is hard to not drink but you figure a way to not drink - share your strategies!!

Be proud of each day you don't drink and be sure to post about it!!

VE Here, Adding spam to the post

The crazystore section on addition is here. It's deliberately 12-step agnostic.

[kdbee]

Great post! I should write all of this down on a small piece of paper to carry around. I haven't been drinking as frequently as usual but when I do drink (prob 2x a week) it's a lot. And, yes, it feels like shit.

But yes...one day at a time.

[inspaces]

thanks!!

I wanted to share one of my strategies....

schedule something early in the morning - something you cannot be hungover for - like tomorrow I'm getting up at 4am to go to an indoor bike class that runs from 6-9am....

drinking tonight is absolutely not an option lol

[darkchylde]

5 weeks!!! awesome; so proud of you IS!!!

[Velvet Elvis]

If this proves popular I'll pin it.

[r2mnot]

Thanks for starting this thread, inspaces. Congrats on the five weeks.

This is for the weak at heart

I'm one of those.

We are the ones that our friends and family may not even know our problems with alcohol

Um, I'm not one of those. EVERYONE knew. Cleverly concealing a bottle in a paper bag and hiding in the bushes to drink really doesn't fool anyone, ya know? There's lots of other things that clued them in. Drunk people are seldom subtle.

I had my last drink on January 22nd. Over the years I've been in several tx centers, a few loony bins, AA, NA etc, and had various lengths of sobriety. The main things that have helped me this time around are getting diagnosed, (That was huge. I didn't know I was nuts until a few years ago.) taking medication and this forum. The people here have been very supportive, even when I was posting drunk. I've kind of given up on the twelve step thing, but it works for a lot of people, and I might go back at some point.

So, for now, no more drunk posting. (or drunk phone calls. Those are really bad.)

Edited December 13, 2009 by r2mnot

[cairn]

Thanks for the post. It's great timing.

And five weeks is brilliant!

Edited December 13, 2009 by cairn

[crazy]

I've printed out this post and made several copies to keep around the house and in my purse. Re-reading your post is going to be one of MY coping stratgies because I found it to be so inspiring and true. I haven't had a drink or self-medicated for eight days now and honestly, the thought of never doing it again is difficult and makes me sad. I wound up in the looney bin in large part because my drinking and Rx drug abuse exacerbated my mood swings and panic attacks; I've been out of the psych hospital for two days now, the experience was a nightmare and I never want to go back.

Being so newly sober, the coping stratgies I'm going to try are as follows:

• re-read your post about the No Drinks Club rules
• remind myself of the experience in the psych hospital
• remind myself what a toll my MI drugs are already doing to my liver and that what I was doing made it worse
• think about the people I met in the looney bin and how much I don't want to become one of the ones who has destroyed their lives and bodies because alcohol and drug abuse

Thanks again for starting this thread. Let's keep it going and get it pinned!

~Robyn a.k.a "crazy"

Edited December 13, 2009 by crazy

[inspaces]

I've printed out this post and made several copies to keep around the house and in my purse. Re-reading your post is going to be one of MY coping stratgies because I found it to be so inspiring and true. I haven't had a drink or self-medicated for eight days now and honestly, the thought of never doing it again is difficult and makes me sad. I wound up in the looney bin in large part because my drinking and Rx drug abuse exacerbated my mood swings and panic attacks; I've been out of the psych hospital for two days now, the experience was a nightmare and I never want to go back.

Being so newly sober, the coping stratgies I'm going to try are as follows:

• re-read your post about the No Drinks Club rules
• remind myself of the experience in the psych hospital
• remind myself what a toll my MI drugs are already doing to my liver and that what I was doing made it worse
• think about the people I met in the looney bin and how much I don't want to become one of the ones who has destroyed their lives and bodies because alcohol and drug abuse

Thanks again for starting this thread. Let's keep it going and get it pinned!

~Robyn a.k.a "crazy"

YAY!! and congrats on 8 days!! and thanks for your warm words of encouragement. I am going to print out my post too and keep it with me.

Thanks VE for considering pinning this thread - that would be sooo nice

I hope to get some long term "no drinkers" on board - I still can't imagine myself going like a whole year w/o drinks... but then again, we don't have to think that far in the future - just today

R2Mnot - congrats on your success so far, one day I'll be able to put a date like yours a post... So my Date is Nov 7th

For anyone reading this post, afraid to 'throw down' - i realize that there's always a chance for relapse - don't worry about that, join and then we can figure it out

[inspaces]

one little footnote.....

I realize joining the club just before major holidays is very very hard! But i like to think of it as this...

Get thru the hell of the first few weeks AND it's a holiday season.... then it will be easier after you are past it... Kind of like boot camp

[Shannie]

Congratulations inspaces and crazy - I understand what a struggle it can be and I wish you both the best.

I'm actually not a member of the "no drinks club", but I sympathise with its aims. I was tee-total for a while (during early recovery from a major alcohol abuse problem) but now I do generally manage to do "normal social drinking" - although when you're a young person in Britain, it's questionable whether the social norm is actually healthy or desirable, given our nationwide problems with binge drinking. But that's a separate issue, haha. I follow certain rules like never, ever drinking alone (that was my pattern when I was in the midst of the madness), not keeping alcohol in the house and not drinking when I'm feeling in a "risky" mood (depressive symptoms and bad thoughts that it might be tempting to try and drown out...). I think that thorough and honest self-monitoring and self-awareness is vital and so far that approach seems to be working for me. Sometimes I can feel the desire to get blotto rising up in me after I've had the first drink...not at all common these days, but it still happens sometimes. When it does I switch to drinking water right away and say out loud to my friends, "Right, I've had enough to drink - I'm not having any more", or something along those lines. If I put that out there it helps me to stick to it.

In fairness, I sometimes think that I probably should totally quit drinking again. I suppose that after my AA experiences I have a faint guilt associated with drinking. I'm not supposed to mix alcohol with mirtazapine anyway and sometimes hangovers can f**k up my mental equilibrium for 24 hours or so. But to be honest, when I was tee-total for several months I felt like a bit of a social pariah. My current day-to-day social circle knows nothing about my history and only one of them is tee-total...and the others keep dissing him as being a weirdo for not drinking at all and speculating as to "what his problem is". This helps me to keep justifying drinking to myself - albeit drinking in moderation rather than the "sessions" that are so common in university life. Alcohol is a central part of socialising in Britain - my sister no longer lives in the UK but comments on the horrendous pressure to drink every time she comes back to this country. I choose to do it to fit in because frankly, for me, social isolation and too much time by myself is far more dangerous than drinking on one or two evenings per week. I guess it's all about choices and balancing the risks.

[Anna]

Good thread, it's a good idea.

In feb, I will have had no drinks for 6 years. I was a terrible, terrible drinker and yes, people knew I was a drunk.

AA was really helpful for a long time, although since moving to Tucson, I really haven't gone to a lot of meetings. (I feel faintly guilty about that).

What helps me is remembering how non-functional and destructive I was while drinking, and how I couldn't really be there for anybody. And, how much harder it is to STOP than to stay stopped. As well as what kind of madness ETOH would do to my moods, and meds. My husband doesn't drink either, so we kind of support each other.

I'll definitely post on the thread, and I think it's a great idea.

Staying busy and trying new things while in early recovery, can be helpful, as well as getting support from other people who have been there. Congrats on 5 weeks, (and 8 days).... that's great.

Anna

[inspaces]

Shannie... that has to be very tough living in a society everyone drinks and promotes it so heavily, I've done the controlled drinking thing and while it starts out just fine, it eventually grows into so much more. Seems like you are sort of re-thinking the "no drinks" concept. Best of luck in what you decide is best.

Anna - congrats on 6 years!!!! that, to me seems insurmountable - you give inspiration to newbies like me and I love your thought of how STOPPING is so much harder than staying STOPPED I agree 100% as i still have a clear cut memory of stopping for the first 2 weeks, which consequently fell right over Thanksgiving (classic drinking day).

I was talking with a friend this morning about not drinking and we talked about a strategy. When you have that urge to drink... go make something else to drink - like hot tea or an tall glass of ice water. I have found that sometimes I am flat out thirsty and would naturally reach out for something with alcohol in it. But having hot tea has always turned out to be a tasty alternative - I now have about 10 different kinds of tea

in fact, i'm going to have a cup of tea right now

[r2mnot]

Another thing that helps me to stay sober is to remember how very, very sick I was. I drank daily for ten years or so, never being fully sober for very long. It was very bad. I lost jobs, got a DUII and spent the night in jail and finally ended up in a nut ward to sober up. I still drank one more time after that. Or maybe it was a couple of times? Anyway, I don't EVER want to be that sick again. If I choose to drink, it's pretty much guaranteed to be even worse.

I want to live, and I want my life to matter. If I drink, I don't think I would survive very long, and what is left of my life would be wasted. I've wasted enough time.

[crazy]

- although when you're a young person in Britain, it's questionable whether the social norm is actually healthy or desirable, given our nationwide problems with binge drinking. But that's a separate issue

Interesting you say that, Shannie, I recently saw a British made documentary on the problems Britian has with binge drinking, especially the young people. It was part of what made me wake up and realize what I was doing. Do you have any insight as to why it is so prevelant in Britian?

BTW, I love your coping skills and hope to one day be able to control myself like that. I think a person CAN get to that point, I'm just not there yet and think I'll do better just staying away from it altogether for now.

[r2mnot]

I think a person CAN get to that point

I think so too. I'm not one of those people though. It's something to be very, very careful about. Sometimes the drinking experiments turn out to be fatal.

[celestia]

Great thread! When I realized the sheer profundity of "one day at a time" I was dumbfounded. Then all the cliches and slogans started making sense in a way they just hadn't until I was sober long enough to understand wtf the simple messages were really saying to me.

Like some of you have posted, I stay sober today because I can't bear the thought of the physical/emotional pain that getting fucked up brings with it. Yeah ok maybe I'll be oblivious for a few lovely hours but then the trainwreck inevitably occurs and I'm fucked all over again--starting at square 1. It gets very, very discouraging to say the least. When I think about all that kind of shit when I might be entertaining a bender I get over it pretty quickly. "Think the drink through". Duh, okay, I get it now! I'm only almost 50, it's about time!

[Velvet Elvis]

Pinned. I hope this topic lasts a long time

[Rabbit37]

Needed this topic, like, right now. Technically, I quit drinking over 2.5 years ago, but can't seem to make it through 6 months without a slip, albeit minor ones. Dec 6 was my last 6 month anniversary, and wouldn't you know it, my husband is leaving town for a few days, and therefore opportunity rears its ugly, stinkin' head again once more. I'm trying to think through the ramifications of what it'll do to me, how I'd be too afraid to mix my current meds with alcohol, how I don't need the 1-2 days off of meds, and the potential for crash big-time. I can't mention all of this to my tdoc, b/c he'd just expect me to go to meetings, and I'm sick and fucking tired of those. Am I the only one who leaves an AA meeting wanting a drink more than when I got there?

For me, it's not tea, it's endless cups of coffee, lol.

Thanks for pinning this, VE, and thank you inspaces for creating it. I'll be coming back here over the next few days... or more.

[Shannie]

- although when you're a young person in Britain, it's questionable whether the social norm is actually healthy or desirable, given our nationwide problems with binge drinking. But that's a separate issue

Interesting you say that, Shannie, I recently saw a British made documentary on the problems Britian has with binge drinking, especially the young people. It was part of what made me wake up and realize what I was doing. Do you have any insight as to why it is so prevelant in Britian?

BTW, I love your coping skills and hope to one day be able to control myself like that. I think a person CAN get to that point, I'm just not there yet and think I'll do better just staying away from it altogether for now.

Thanks As for the British binge-drinking issue...IMHO, a large part of the reason for it is that British people are quite socially uptight and somewhat emotionally repressed (the whole "stiff upper lip" thing). Most Brits I know don't talk about their feelings too openly and certainly not negative feelings or serious personal/family problems. Better to drink away a problem or inhibition than admit it and work on it, maybe? While the American-style openness and "therapy culture" (sorry if that's not a good way to put it, but that's how I hear it referred to here) are getting more acceptable, I think it's still sort of frowned upon a lot of the time in the UK. So I think this leads to Brits drinking a hell of a lot because the only time we feel able to truly relax, open up and become less inhibited is while under the influence (obviously this is a huge generalisation). I don't really know anyone who, for example, would be happy to dance in a nightclub sober - they'd be far too worried about how they looked and whether they were making a fool of themselves. Which is odd, because obviously you make much more of a fool of yourself while blind drunk than you ever would sober, but somehow the "Oh well, I was pissed [drunk]" excuse makes it ok...it's as if anything you do while drunk on a night out somehow doesn't count towards the general "keeping up appearances". Also, the general social acceptabilty among young Brits of getting absolutely blind drunk while out with friends...well, I'm not really sure where that comes from, but I've definitely lived it. A few years back my friends and I used to go out with the express aim of getting wasted - it wasn't accidentally having too much to drink, we all used to deliberately drink as much as we could. Not remembering what we did (or maybe even where we went towards the end of the night) was a common part of the morning-after discussions. At the time I didn't even think about how dangerous that was because it just seemed as though it was the done thing and nothing unusual. I still see that going on around me now, but I just don't participate.

I think a person CAN get to that point

I think so too. I'm not one of those people though. It's something to be very, very careful about. Sometimes the drinking experiments turn out to be fatal.

Hell yes, it can be dangerous. It took me a while to get it right and on several occasions I drank too much and messed up before I re-learned to recognise the feeling of having had enough... It can be difficult to tell where the point of "pleasantly tipsy but still compus-mentus" is when you've spent a long time drinking yourself stupid as quickly as possible. I also had to learn to recognise the danger signs that signalled a potential alcohol binge - and then, through no small amount of trial and error, develop the discipline and strength of mind to stop those happening. In some ways it would have been easier to stay tee-total, but that wasn't what I wanted. Oh...and as an aside, I reject the charge that people who can re-learn to drink normally were never "true alcoholics" in the first place. I had an inpatient detox after getting full-on physically addicted to the stuff, but I have still managed to retrain myself. I do accept that that isn't always possible and/or desirable though - sometimes, for some people, it's best not to risk trying. I have seen plenty of people go down in a full-on relapse during my time in rehab/the rooms of AA.

[inspaces]

Per Crazy... I don't really know anyone who, for example, would be happy to dance in a nightclub sober - they'd be far too worried about how they looked and whether they were making a fool of themselves. Which is odd, because obviously you make much more of a fool of yourself while blind drunk than you ever would sober, but somehow the "Oh well, I was pissed [drunk]" excuse makes it ok...it's as if anything you do while drunk on a night out somehow doesn't count towards the general "keeping up appearances".

yeah... same thing here - I went to a year end party at a club where, I swear I was the only one NOT drinking, no way did i feel like dancing (this was in part because i had injured myself in a race that morning), but i don't think I would have anyway - the dance floor was too crowded with drunk peeps

because I'm working on week number 6, no drinks, i'm pretty much avoiding social situations where I may be too tempted, and bars/nightclubs high on that list atm

oh and that night, I was home by 10:30 lol

Rabbit.. congrats on 2.5 years!! hell, on 6 months even!! I too get really tempted when hubby isn't around - he is somewhat disabled from his cancer, but tons of times when he is sleeping (late afternoon nap for instance), I'd dive into the opportunity to have a few. stay strong

[crazy]

Needed this topic, like, right now. Technically, I quit drinking over 2.5 years ago, but can't seem to make it through 6 months without a slip, albeit minor ones. Dec 6 was my last 6 month anniversary, and wouldn't you know it, my husband is leaving town for a few days, and therefore opportunity rears its ugly, stinkin' head again once more. I'm trying to think through the ramifications of what it'll do to me, how I'd be too afraid to mix my current meds with alcohol, how I don't need the 1-2 days off of meds, and the potential for crash big-time. I can't mention all of this to my tdoc, b/c he'd just expect me to go to meetings, and I'm sick and fucking tired of those. Am I the only one who leaves an AA meeting wanting a drink more than when I got there?

For me, it's not tea, it's endless cups of coffee, lol.

Thanks for pinning this, VE, and thank you inspaces for creating it. I'll be coming back here over the next few days... or more.

I'm 9 days sober and due to my husband's job, he is out of town for 3-4 days every week, although this week he is staying home to support me through the first part of my sobriety. I definitely feel for you about your husband leaving, but I like your idea of thinking through the ramifications. In another thread about AA Alternitives, S9 wrote "if I think about doing drugs I think it all the way through to the inevitable conclusion which if I'm lucky includes survival but with a huge mess to clean up. It's just not worth the inevitable consequences." I loved that quote and have been doing that. I like the idea of thinking it through to the BITTER end that includes the chance of loss of life or the mess you/I will make if we don't abstain.

Perhaps posting everyday your husband is gone on this thread and let us know how you're doing will help. That way we can give you encouragement and support. I think that's what I'm going to do the first time my husband is away.

And you're not alone about the AA meetings, I really hate those Check out SMART recovery, they have online meetings every night and I've also found them to be very helpful. To me, their rational approach and ideas of personal responsibility really appeal to me. http://www.smartrecovery.org/

Good luck and let us know how you're doing!

Edited December 14, 2009 by crazy

[Bex]

I'm in. I've never been addicted, or anything like that... which means I've always been able to do the "Well I don't need a drink, so there's nothing wrong with how I'm drinking... so I'll just have another glass of wine." Which I know is absolute bollocks.

And it has to stop. My liver's semi-fucked from a suicide attempt a year and a bit ago. I've just started on Quetiapine, and I know that doesn't go with alcohol - I've had a drink a couple of times since I started on it, "Oh, just a glass of wine with my meal, that's a nice way to drink" and it's knocked me fucking senseless every time. And damnit, it's just not good for crazies with recurrent episodes of depression and recent psychosis!

Anyway, long story short - I'm in. Like Shannie, I'm a Brit, but my friends all know I'm on the Seroquel (we even have a Quetiapine Dance, because they can see how much better I feel on it,) so that shouldn't be too big an issue - it's going to be my family trying to get me drunk. I might go on another "major health kick" - it'll be easier to give up chocolate, crisps and laziness for the Christmas hols than try to give up the booze without a good excuse...

[celestia]

It's just not worth the inevitable consequences."

The consequence that motivates me the most--even more than my own life--is looking into the eyes of the children I have betrayed, yet again, by fucking up. It simply isn't an option anymore. Never should have been but it's THEIR time now. They get to have my best for the rest of my life. My best before myself, a man, drugs, all of it. My *pain* is not significant and I had a long hard way of coming to that brilliant :dunce:revelation.

Anyhoo, yay! We have a club! Now I'm gonna go tip a few seltzer waters.

[inspaces]

yeah... i've not gone down the road of how my kids have reacted to my drinking. Needless to say, I have behaved pretty badly around them from both being actively drunk party girl to sick as a dog hungover girl... .worst case when I nearly passed out on the kitchen floor while my daughter was making breakfast... I fooled my hubby and my mom (who had to come over and take her to school, then me and other daughter to the doctor) that i had the flu or something. But i knew full well that it was vodka + meds = liver overload - that was just before i quit 5 weeks ago

Bex... I love how you say, "Well I don't need a drink, so there's nothing wrong with how I'm drinking... so I'll just have another glass of wine." ummm, story of my life

Crazy... my hubby is almost always home if he's not at his office - like right now, post work time - he's in bed, leaving me wide open. Not much temptation atm though cuz I have class tonight

The scariest thing loomy ahead on the horizon (other than the constant anxiety over worrying if a tumor is growing in his head), is that he's about to get his driving privileges restored thru driver retraining with his left foot. (his right side is damaged from the tumor that was removed) The loss of control that I am feeling is overwhelming

[whirledps]

The "No Drinks Club" sounds exactly like my cup of tea!

I quit doing drugs (excepts prescribed meds in the correct amount) on my birthday of this year and quit drinking in early October, both after 36+ years of abuse. I have not spent a single minute of my adult life NOT under the influence of something.

I too find it hard to deal with AA and NA. They say "take what you need and leave the rest", well I appreciate their sincerity, but as someone here mentioned, going to meetings makes me want to use

Not an excuse, just a fact. And I will do whatever it takes to stay clean and sober. So for now, no meetings.

For re-enforcement and partially to avoid jail, I voluntarily put myself into a 28-day V.A. in-patient substance abuse treatment program 20 days after my last drink. I still had to do 2 days in jail with a 1 year sentence suspended. (Thankfully I got my meds and slept through most of it lol).

I'm sorry to be babbling. All I really meant to say was: This clean and sober thing is a new adventure for me. Perhaps with continued sobriety, my psychological and emotional problems will begin straighten out. This living each day as an adult is not so bad after all.

I'm going back to college in a few weeks to finish 2 degrees I started over 30 years ago.

Who's to say what brought on what, the psych problems or the drug/alcohol abuse...

Please forgive the babble.

Best wishes.

~wp

Edited December 15, 2009 by whirledps

[inspaces]

The "No Drinks Club" sounds exactly like my cup of tea!

I quit doing drugs (excepts prescribed meds in the correct amount) on my birthday of this year and quit drinking in early October, both after 36+ years of abuse. I have not spent a single minute of my adult life NOT under the influence of something.

I too find it hard to deal with AA and NA. They say "take what you need and leave the rest", well I appreciate their sincerity, but as someone here mentioned, going to meetings makes me want to use

Not an excuse, just a fact. And I will do whatever it takes to stay clean and sober. So for now, no meetings.

For re-enforcement and partially to avoid jail, I voluntarily put myself into a 28-day V.A. in-patient substance abuse treatment program 20 days after my last drink. I still had to do 2 days in jail with a 1 year sentence suspended. (Thankfully I got my meds and slept through most of it lol).

I'm sorry to be babbling. All I really meant to say was: This clean and sober thing is a new adventure for me. Perhaps with continued sobriety, my psychological and emotional problems will begin straighten out. This living each day as an adult is not so bad after all.

I'm going back to college in a few weeks to finish 2 degrees I started over 30 years ago.

Who's to say what brought on what, the psych problems or the drug/alcohol abuse...

Please forgive the babble.

Best wishes.

~wp

Babbling is encouraged!! the good stuff, the hard stuff - this is the place and congrats on how far you have come so far ... and best of luck in college!! I'm in school working on my Master's degree - to become a teacher - a dream I've had for over 20 years but never pursued.

[crazy]

If rabbit37 reads this, I was just wondering how you're doing. Has your husband left on his trip yet? I hope you're doing OK.

[Rabbit37]

Thank you for asking, crazy, I was just coming here to post!

He left this morning. My mind has been churning with cravings, thinking how easy it would be to drive to the next small town (mustn't risk being seen!) and buy something. All sorts of other things are flying through my mind, tho... how I would have to plan and drop my meds for a day, not knowing if they're compatible... my god, what if my breath still smelled the next morning when I walked the kids to school?... and the worst of all, the fact that I am solely responsible for two young-ish children while he's away. It's this last thought that is giving me chills, and keeping me from caving. He would never forgive me - nor should he - if something happened while he was away, and I was drinking.

The consequences are just too vast for me to do this. I'm angry, of course... why can't I have a glass of wine like a normal person? Why did I have to be so thoughtless and helpless, that I would ruin any chance of drinking for the rest of my life? I didn't ask to be an alcoholic, so why did this happen to me? Selfish, whining thoughts, all of them.

I think I'm going to be okay, actually. I have to keep myself busy during school hours, because I don't dare take my kids into a liquor store. Wait, did I just say that I'm okay? No, I'm not okay, but I think I might make it. I'll be coming back here to whine some more, I'm sure.

[inspaces]

Hang in there rabbitt!!

I'm having a nasty morning as well - though I do not crave any alcohol (well it IS only 9:30am haha), but for me, major fatigue and anxiety bring on depression like dense fog.

Think ahead to the day your hubby is home and how by then you will have made it without having any drinks.

I like to compare getting over hurdles of cravings to lifting weights or exercise - it's really hard while you are doing it, but once it's over, you feel great with a few new muscles as bonus

hint hint .... exercise produces very positive endorphins and is a great way to punch out anxiety and frustration... and it doesn't have to be something huge either - whether it's a nice walk around the block or a 25 mile bike ride - both work!!

take care

[Rabbit37]

Yes, I know, exercise... that dreaded "E" word. *laugh* I'm probably going to walk to pick up the kids this afternoon, and I know I'll feel better for it. And it's my turn to walk them in the morning (neighbor and I take turns), so that's good too.

Thanks.

[Rabbit37]

I'm sorry, I have to add this small victory: I just went to the grocery store, and *didn't* stop at the liquor store. Why do they always have to be in the same strip center? I'm home now, and that's it for the day, no more errands. At least for today (no promises for tomorrow), I feel like I have overcome the craving... not to say that I won't be white-knuckling it tonight.

Erg, why does this have to be so hard???

[crazy]

I'm sorry, I have to add this small victory: I just went to the grocery store, and *didn't* stop at the liquor store.

Don't be sorry for adding that, lol! That's fantastic, congrats!!! I know what a major accomplishment that is and you should be really proud of yourself.

[inspaces]

yay - on skipping right past that liquor store rabbit!!

I've had a very rough day. Got up too early for exercise, and crashed around noon of exhaustion - which brings on big ugly depression, obsession about the many pill options on my nightstand. So while i wasn't thinking about vodka, i was thinking about scrip meds. lots of them. 2 hours dozing on and off with multiple intrusive thoughts of self-medication, which would have landed me in an ER

Well I was snapped out of it since I nearly forgot to drop some stuff off at daughter's school AND i had a presentation at my younger daughter's school. Back from both now and feel a lot better.

Score one for victory here as well

anyone else checking in?

[celestia]

Hang in there rab. My kids have kept me sober too. When I was the only licensed driver in the house I would scare myself to be sober because I would not be able to drive them to the ER or pick them up at school or whatever. Whatever mental tricks that get us through a craving. I went with number one son today to the gym, yay me! Then we got a lot of good, healthy food. I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

[crazy]

I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

Interesting you should mention that, I'm going through an out-patient program right now for alcohol and chemical dependancy. While I have been sober now for 12 days, I find I'm trading one addiction for another, namely, junk food and anything sugary. I'm really frustrated with this and wish I had your mindset instead. Just shows how addictive a person I really am, but hopefully by going to the out-patient program I can get some better coping skills so I don't just swap addictions.

[inspaces]

I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

Interesting you should mention that, I'm going through an out-patient program right now for alcohol and chemical dependancy. While I have been sober now for 12 days, I find I'm trading one addiction for another, namely, junk food and anything sugary. I'm really frustrated with this and wish I had your mindset instead. Just shows how addictive a person I really am, but hopefully by going to the out-patient program I can get some better coping skills so I don't just swap addictions.

couple 3 years ago, I went on a diet that essentially works to clear your body and dependence on sugar. The powers that be who created this diet (which btw I lost 18lbs on in a very healthy fashion), ran the first 10 days w/o any sugar at all and this included any sort of wine/alcohol. Even natural sugars were banned like from fruit or juice as well as manufactured diet sugars. Being a diet where the plan was to maximize proteins from foods that are filling, even milk was banned (gasp - i love milk). The first 10 days were filled with creative meal planning and great cooking but the only drinks were water, tea-unsweetened and coffee (hold the sugar/cream). Their studies had proven that it takes 10 days for your body to rid itself of the desire for manufactured sugar. I lost 7lbs the first 10 days and it did work. Granted, day 7, I was ready to kill someone haha but I got thru it. After the 10 days, naturally found sugars were added back in as well as wine later on. So just the last part you'd want to skip

As long as you are going thru this initial stage, could this be something to consider? If you are interested, PM me and i'll give you that diet website - not sure about posting it only cuz spam stuff.

my tdoc once called me a marionette puppet - one arm goes down, the other goes up.. that would be me trading one bad coping skill for another. Funny how nearly all of my bad coping skills are under so much better control since i quit drinks almost 6 weeks ago. Shopping and excessive exercise remain sigh...

[celestia]

I tend to not want to poison my body and mind when I'm being proactive in keeping myself sober, sane and alive.

While I have been sober now for 12 days, I find I'm trading one addiction for another, namely, junk food and anything sugary. I'm really frustrated with this and wish I had your mindset instead. Just shows how addictive a person I really am,

OMG. If you knew me well you would know how hilarious that is. I am addicted to candy and desserts. I actually think that when you are just getting sober it helps to eat candy. I've been clean/sober off and on for many years. This time I'm clean about 18 mos. For the first year at least I think the body is just in shock and anything is better than drugs and/or alcohol (or cigarettes). If that means your eating habits are bad for a bit it's worth it if it helps you to stay sober. Obviously we have options in the snack world too. If I just HAVE to have something I consider bad, I go for the healthiest version of it that's possible.

[recoverymouse]

a LOT of addicts replace one drug for another. I replaced meth with alcohol, lots of people go off alcohol and abuse prescription meds (generally benzos or opiates) because it's easier to hide than alcohol.

[Dooga16]

I had a drink that I disliked at a young age. Or rather "a sip." I also had "a sip" when someone drunk kept bothering me to drink something. This was in my mid-teens as well. I actually didn't know it was alcohol until after. Wow, I just remember that. Up until now I felt guilty because I thought I "gave into the peer pressure." My mind was trying to punish me I guess.

So I don't drink. I don't know many people, and it's a good way to meet people. It's a weird topic when people ask me why I don't drink. Anyone got any suggestions? If I insult drinking, I can offend people. I don't mind this, but it seems like it could hurt things. If I lie about a drinking problem, people might judge me. If I tell them about my medications, people might judge me. If I say I dislike the taste, people will suggest different drinks. If it makes me sick, people will suggest lower concentrations, I suspect. Some people really want someone to drink with (see drunk guy who bothered me as a kid).

What do you guys say when people ask you why you don't drink? Last time I said I always procrastinate with things I enjoy, and if I get one more thing I enjoy, I'll have another hour I didn't do my homework. Anyone else have an ideas? That won't won't be good for life.

My grandparents both were alcoholics. They died when I was a few years old so it's doesn't get to me. They are on my Dad's side, which has a history of alcohol problems. All three kids drink more than I think people should, and my uncle had an admitted drinking problem which I believe he resolved (while my Dad does go to AA and drink, I don't talk about it with him. He seems to drink daily, but he doesn't get drunk and only drinks after work or in the evening). Family history doesn't seem like it will avoid being judged, however.

I just fail miserably in social situations so anyway I can avoid being judged is good. And I don't want to drink nor do I think it is particularly good idea given my situation. Props to those who drink and quit though. I've never experienced that, but I have my suspicions on the difficulty of it. I know my depression had times where I felt physically compelled to keep sleeping. If alcohol addiction is like that, or worse, I'd give anyone who overcomes that 5 gold stars out of 5. Man, just thinking about those sleep-issue days makes me uncomfortable. Sorry if I'm a little off topic here. I don't know if I am or not. I should be going to sleep. I'm pretty tired, and I tend to ramble anyway (worse when tired). I really love being tired sometimes, though. Staying as long as possible then sleeping isn't something I've done in months, but I find the end is really good. I get really happy and excited like a 5 year old kid when it's time to go to sleep. Ramble. This forum rules. Dog got fixed. She is good. That stress is gone. Wee.

[Rabbit37]

Idk, Dooga, I always say it as such a blunt statement, "I don't drink", and either walk away or change the subject, that no one has ever questioned me. Then again, you're young, and I imagine your peers *would* question that a bit further. I'm sorry I don't have any helpful suggestions for you other than just being firm.

Well, guys, I made it. Husband actually came home late last night, rather than tomorrow, and boy was I glad. I was beating myself up Wed night, half thinking I'm weak, half thinking I really, really want a drink, why didn't I get something small? But it's over now, and in fact he's taking a few days off for Christmas, so opportunity has dropped back down to zero. That's fine, I need it that way.

I'm very glad this thread is around.

[Bex]

I suck.

We finished this term's exams last night and all went out - I caved into peer pressure and had a small glass of wine. I promptly fell asleep face down on the table, was poured into a taxi by my friend, and dragged out at the other end and put to bed.

I guess my doc meant it when he said no drinking with the pills. Huh.

Another day, another start. I think today I'll be sticking to diet coke...

[crazy]

Congrats, Rabbit37! My husband is leaving this Wednesday and won't be back until Saturday and I already feel the anxiety building. While Christmas has never been a big holiday for me, the fact that he's gone and I have no family even remotely close to where I live has me a bit down (read "trigger point"). I'll probably be posting a lot those days, just a fair warning!

Dooga, I'm with Rabbit37 on this, a simple "no thanks" or "I don't drink" is fine but again, as Rabbit37, said when you're young it's a whole different story. I've also been wondering about this myself. I'm 14 days sober now and a lot of my friends don't know yet. How are they going to react when the find out the "new" me doesn't drink? I know some of them will rib me for it. I'll be interested in reading other replies to Dooga's question and see how others have handled this situation.

[inspaces]

high five rabbitt!!! woot

my next hurdle is my sister's Christmas Party - one in which the alcohol flows like water from every direction - I have not told my family that I'm done drinking, so Dooga, your post is very well timed. You'd think by age 41, I could come up with a good no nonsense reply to, "What can I get you to drink?" Even if I say, "oh well I'm the driver, so no drinks for me", I think I'll get a, "not even one?" End the party will surely bring out the champaign - "surely one glass one hurt..." HAH.. yeah right

I don't really want to launch into my drinking problem at her party.

Think I'll go with the "I'm on meds that make it so I cannot drink at all" . This is a true statement of course. Don't know if that line will work for you Dooga.

My neighbors do not drink at all - hubby is a recovering addict and hasn't a drink in like 20 years, his wife just doesn't drink to support him. They still get "you're weird cuz you don't drink" looks - but they just let it roll right over them.

You could be point blank - "my family comes from a loooong line of drunks, and I'M not going there"

Funny thing, I've never taken up smoking and if anyone were to offer a smoke, I'd be like ewwww grosss!!!! - same concept could apply here

best of luck

[crazy]

I guess my doc meant it when he said no drinking with the pills. Huh.

lol, at least you figured it out! For me, it took a four day stint at the psych hospital before I realized what it was doing to me. I ain't too smart sometimes

But seriously, don't beat yourself up over it. You had the courage to come on here and admit it, that wasn't easy.

[celestia]

Yeah, "I don't drink" is what I use. If the press on, "never aquired a taste for it and it's killed a lot of people I know." That usually is a topic stopper. Another thing you can do is order something that looks like a drink. Rum and coke, hold the rum.

[whirledps]

Congrats to all staying sober. I know its tough around the holidays. This is my first holiday staying sober as far as I can recall. (I don't even remember what time of year it was when I quit for 48 weeks for hep-c treatment)

Today is my 74th day sober. Yippee!

If anyone wants an easy calculator to calc the days, http://www.timeandda...e/duration.html

Anyway, all of my friends know I quit drinking. I've been offered a beer twice, which I declined and have not been offered since. A stranger asked if I wanted a drink last week and I replied "No thanks, it'll kill me". His eyes got wide and he said "Huh??" And I said "I'm allergic". No more questions. I think I will continue using that one.

I can't really say I haven't had the craving, but they were more like brief thoughts about how well a beer or glass of wine would fit into the current scenario and would not do any harm. That AV (addictive voice) in my head usually lasts a few seconds. I'm having the same for cigarettes, but that AV is a little more annoying. I have stopped taking any form of nicotine replacement, but I'm still on the wellbutrin, trazodone and seroquel, and I definitely think those meds work well in keeping both the alcohol and cigarette cravings at a low level.

Congratulations Rabbit37, to para-phrase, keep passing the open liquor stores!! S9, that is definitely a good response and how true it is! And Bex and Crazy, I have not had any drinks on my current meds, but did drink a good bit when I was on only wellbutrin within the last few years. I can only imagine how drinking on traz or seroquel would knock you on your ass and very easily get you locked away. Something I would definitely not want to mix in public. Inspaces, my strategy for the Christmas and New Year parties is to ride with my only female friend who doesn't drink and promise to stay only 30 to 45 minutes, drink cranberry and club soda with a swizzle stick, always keeping a full one in my hand so no one can put another beverage in it. I know that as time progresses, it will be easier to deal with parties. But I'm also going to try to stay clear of gatherings whose only purpose is to drink i.e. keg parties. Why in the hell would I want to put myself into that temptation??

OK, time to go out and play in the snow. It's really coming down here in the NC mountains! Expecting over a foot. BIG, Heavy flakes. :-)

Take care all and best wishes.

~wp

edited cause I forgot spell check :-)

Edited December 18, 2009 by whirledps

[celestia]

and I replied "No thanks, it'll kill me". His eyes got wide and he said "Huh??" And I said "I'm allergic".

back in my AA days I would hear that often. "I'm allergic to booze, I break out in handcuffs."

My ex-husband had a good friend who didn't stop drinking when he was dx'ed with hep c. Sorry, tragic story really. Of course he died. Left behind a young wife and a blind daughter for her to care for basically alone. Addiction is so selfish.

eta: congrats of 74 days! The holidays are really rough. It gets better though after a few years of doing it sober. My longest period of sobriety was started right before t-giving. I was so fed up with being so fucked up that I didnt even do the whole, "I'll quit after the holidays," thing. I just wanted to live at that point.

Edited December 18, 2009 by S9

[cairn]

... 74th day sober. Yippee!

Congratulations, indeed.

[inspaces]

S9.... Your comment, . "I'm allergic to booze, I break out in handcuffs." gave me my first laugh of this whole day and depression and anxiety over my future has had a death grip on me all day.. so thanks for sharing!!!

Whirl... congrats on 74 days!!! I'm at 41 days - LOVE that date calculator - it's going to be my newest addiction - figuring days of stuff hahaha

I told hubby today that I quit drinking and how it'd been almost 6 weeks and he immediately said that he had noticed. talking with a friend yesterday and i told him how it's actually easier to say, I'm done drinking, than to say, I can't drink anymore

THis will also be my first sober holiday season since forever... in unchartered territory, glad I'm not alone in the quest

PS I love love cranberry drinks (generally with vodka), so i'm going to try cranberry and club soda - sounds really good

[r2mnot]

I'm not with it enough to comment on individual posts. Actually, I'm seldom capable of that. So, here's a general congrats for all of us, 'cause we're all doing well with this.

As far as people offering me drinks or asking why I don't, I just say it gives me a headache, which is true. They don't need to know that it's because I drink way too much and always have a hangover afterwords. No one has ever questioned the headache thing.

[celestia]

As far as people offering me drinks or asking why I don't, I just say it gives me a headache, which is true. They don't need to know that it's because I drink way too much and always have a hangover afterwords. No one has ever questioned the headache thing.

R2, you bring up an interesting point. I haven't thought about this in years. But after I got sober for a few years in a row I realized that no one really gives a shit why I don't drink. They don't ask for elaboration unless THEY drink too much usually.

I also think that these days people generally are more savvy about how deadly alcohol really is. I think to find someone who's life has not been adversely affected by someone drinking (selves included) would be rare. It wasn't like that "back in the day".Well it was but it was still largely the pink elephant in the room.

Edited December 18, 2009 by S9

[r2mnot]

For the most part, people don't ask me about it at all. The headache thing is reserved for (rude) people who push it. I rarely go to places where people drink anyway. Actually, I rarely go anywhere. Heh.

[Rabbit37]

whirldps and inspaces, y'all are both doing great, congratulations!

I'm lucky, my husband's company not only is out of town, they also don't have xmas parties. So, no holiday parties to worry about, and we're 1800 miles away from family. We're going to a neighbor's house on xmas eve, and there'll be alcohol there, but they know me and will have plenty of seltzer on hand, so it's not really a temptation.

And speaking of dates, I just realized that I have made it to the 6-month mark.

[cairn]

Why are we all speaking in bold italic?

[celestia]

And speaking of dates, I just realized that I have made it to the 6-month mark

woo!

Bartender, round of seltzer for the house!

[inspaces]

And speaking of dates, I just realized that I have made it to the 6-month mark

woo!

Bartender, round of seltzer for the house!

and add some cranberry juice to mine!

just ran 5.25 miles.. great for the mind and soul !

[whirledps]

I just want to add in here how VERY, VERY thankful I am that in all of my drinking, drugging and driving, no one was ever hurt or killed. That in itself is a huge miracle. I doubt I could live with myself.

I just saw one of those commercials "this is the next 60 seconds of your life". Not sure if they are nation-wide, but they do make you stop and think.

Addiction coupled with MI is a major SOB!

[Bex]

Much soberer today, thank goodness. Have overindulged on the coke* bigtime, but hey, it's a step in the right direction.

*The fizzy ice-and-lemon kind, not the powdery snortable kind. Because I don't think that would go any better with Seroquel than the booze would.

Edited December 19, 2009 by Bex

[inspaces]

Family Christmas party tonight - drinking galore - ugh... it's not that I want to drink lots, but I'm a bit put off by the fact I can't even have one glass of champaign

sigh

and it's been a very long day, on the run since 9am , currently 5pm

just venting

wish me luck

[celestia]

Good luck. Don't sacrifice yourself if it gets too hard. Get out of there. k?

[crazy]

good luck, inspaces! You can do it

[inspaces]

Thanks!!! I was thinking alot tonight about how I wanted to be able to post a good note after getting home - was nice to see friends support

done, home, had fun, NO DRINKS

and it was ALOT harder than i had anticipated - i was the only one there aside from my 2 kids that wasn't drinking. Like a few times I'd find my standing next to a glass of wine and that little voice in my head was going, "go on drink it" gee thanks AV haha

even upon walking in the door, my sis had a chocolate martini in her hand (one of my favorite drinks)...

bailed out of there before the champaign came out

sis's house is typically where i always always have lots of drinks, and sad to say, also have driven my family home from and it's a 25 min drive

upside, i know my kids pay attention to my drinking and I certain they took note of me not having anything this time - given my prior history there..

now I'll have no problem at all getting up for my 6am indoor bike ride

3 more hurdles...

Christmas eve - my house

Christmas day - parents house and I have NEVER done Christmas at their house sober

New Years Eve - this may be easy cuz this year i'm not having a party and i'm not going out

Edited December 20, 2009 by inspaces

[recoverymouse]

Thanks!!! I was thinking alot tonight about how I wanted to be able to post a good note after getting home - was nice to see friends support

done, home, had fun, NO DRINKS

and it was ALOT harder than i had anticipated - i was the only one there aside from my 2 kids that wasn't drinking. Like a few times I'd find my standing next to a glass of wine and that little voice in my head was going, "go on drink it" gee thanks AV haha

even upon walking in the door, my sis had a chocolate martini in her hand (one of my favorite drinks)...

bailed out of there before the champaign came out

sis's house is typically where i always always have lots of drinks, and sad to say, also have driven my family home from and it's a 25 min drive

upside, i know my kids pay attention to my drinking and I certain they took note of me not having anything this time - given my prior history there..

now I'll have no problem at all getting up for my 6am indoor bike ride

3 more hurdles...

Christmas eve - my house

Christmas day - parents house and I have NEVER done Christmas at their house sober

New Years Eve - this may be easy cuz this year i'm not having a party and i'm not going out

...and the rest of your life after that.

[Rabbit37]

Well done, inspaces, well done. Congrats on getting out of there before the tempation became too great.

Good luck with your next hurdles.

[whirledps]

Thanks!!! I was thinking alot tonight about how I wanted to be able to post a good note after getting home - was nice to see friends support

done, home, had fun, NO DRINKS

and it was ALOT harder than i had anticipated - i was the only one there aside from my 2 kids that wasn't drinking. Like a few times I'd find my standing next to a glass of wine and that little voice in my head was going, "go on drink it" gee thanks AV haha

even upon walking in the door, my sis had a chocolate martini in her hand (one of my favorite drinks)...

bailed out of there before the champaign came out

sis's house is typically where i always always have lots of drinks, and sad to say, also have driven my family home from and it's a 25 min drive

upside, i know my kids pay attention to my drinking and I certain they took note of me not having anything this time - given my prior history there..

now I'll have no problem at all getting up for my 6am indoor bike ride

3 more hurdles...

Christmas eve - my house

Christmas day - parents house and I have NEVER done Christmas at their house sober

New Years Eve - this may be easy cuz this year i'm not having a party and i'm not going out

Very happy congratulations on not listening to that little devil on your shoulder and bailing when the time was right. Don't worry today about the future hurdles ahead. Simply don't have anything to drink today. Repeat.

Enjoy the snow if you got it. WE got 15 inches with flurries stll falling.

Best wishes.

~wp

p.s. I'm having very vivid dreams about drinking, drugs and smoking thanks to the traz and seroquel. I wake up paranoid about my probation officer and drug tests. LOL but the moment I open my eyes I realize it's only a dream and take a deep breath of relief!

Anyone else having dreams of using??

[inspaces]

Thanks guys!!!

I got my 3 hour bike ride at 6am no problem!!

off to chicago to see Blue Man Group hangover free

Best of luck to everyone in the coming week - i liken Christmas/New years week and no drinking to completing a marathon

We can do it!!

[Bex]

Still sober. Still replacing alcohol with eating junk food in extreme quantities. This is Not Good, blaming the Seroquel is not good enough, I know this is just me being lazy. I've done so well with this diet in the last few months, I don't want to throw it all away now. I've spent my entire adult life binge-eating, bar the last four months, when I'd shifted 35 pounds. I've regained eight, I feel bloated and icky, but I'm still munching.

Gah.

Edited December 21, 2009 by Bex

[celestia]

Still sober. Still replacing alcohol with eating junk food in extreme quantities. This is Not Good, blaming the Seroquel is not good enough, I know this is just me being lazy.

Well it is ultimately up to us what we eat, BUT (always a but), Seroquel notoriously seems to make carb cravings sometimes impossible to resist. Crappy sentence but you kwim.

I know food can kill just like alcohol does but if you are within a few years of being newly sober, food isn't the primary substance to steer clear of. (my opinion only and Im probably just justifying my own tendencies to overeat.) I think it calls for extra kindness to self to get through the holidays and the many temptations.

I guess what I'm saying badly is don't be so hard on yourself. It's been my experience that if I just don't drink or get high the rest of my life seems to fall into place in a fairly healthy matter.

Edited December 22, 2009 by S9

[inspaces]

Still sober. Still replacing alcohol with eating junk food in extreme quantities. This is Not Good, blaming the Seroquel is not good enough, I know this is just me being lazy.

Well it is ultimately up to us what we eat, BUT (always a but), Seroquel notoriously seems to make carb cravings sometimes impossible to resist. Crappy sentence but you kwim.

I know food can kill just like alcohol does but if you are within a few years of being nearly sober food isn't the primary substance to steer clear of. (my opinion only and Im probably just justifying my own tendencies to overeat.) I think it calls for extra kindness to self to get through the holidays and the many temptations.

I guess what I'm saying badly is don't be so hard on yourself. It's been my experience that if I just don't drink or get high the rest of my life seems to fall into place in a fairly healthy matter.

ditto what s9 says

especially during the holidays.. a few extra cookies is OK - everyone does it

even if like twice a week you can go for a brisk walk- bundle up if it's cold! would be great. I always eat more on a workout day - maybe try going for the walk first and then have a treat as reward... btw, people tend to think it's too cold to go walking/running outside and honestly, it's the best - the cold air clears your lungs and eases anxiety for me.

Now if you tell me you live in a pleasant warm climate then you have no excuse haha...

Hot tea - tons of flavors to experiment with, spoonful of sugar doesn't hurt either

(though I've found with flavored teas, extra sweeteners are not even needed)

hang in there!

[Shannie]

p.s. I'm having very vivid dreams about drinking, drugs and smoking thanks to the traz and seroquel. I wake up paranoid about my probation officer and drug tests. LOL but the moment I open my eyes I realize it's only a dream and take a deep breath of relief!

Anyone else having dreams of using??

I used to have drinking dreams early in recovery, when I was still in rehab. I had a few ultra-vivid ones where I would literally wake up to find myself scrabbling around on the floor looking for my dream bottle of vodka (in the months before rehab I generally carried a smallish bottle of vodka around in my handbag for topping up, on the occasions when I actually went out for a day...). They did pass after a few weeks sobriety and, while I had a few pop up along the way some time later, they weren't as vivid. So don't worry - it passes.

[Bex]

Inspaces, thank you for the tips I'm in England, so normally not too cold, but we've had masses of snow over the last few days - wrapping up warm and walking is pretty much the only way to get anywhere, the whole country stops for snow

Going back to my parents' place, so not eating junk food should be easier, there's never anything very exciting there! Christmas included, hehe. Not drinking will be trickier, my parents aren't big drinkers but my granddad will be trying to force-feed me red wine. I may lie about the number of WeightWatchers points in booze, make that my excuse.

Whirledps, I don't dream about alcohol or drugs, but neither have ever reached problem proportions in my life - I'm in the club to stop the booze getting that way and stop it messing with the meds. However, I self-harmed for years and finally gave up last Easter, and I still have dreams about cutting myself - and wake up feeling really guilty about it and have to check my arms to make sure it wasn't real, so I kind of get what you mean.

Edited December 22, 2009 by Bex

[whirledps]

Inspaces, thank you for the tips I'm in England, so normally not too cold, but we've had masses of snow over the last few days - wrapping up warm and walking is pretty much the only way to get anywhere, the whole country stops for snow

Going back to my parents' place, so not eating junk food should be easier, there's never anything very exciting there! Christmas included, hehe. Not drinking will be trickier, my parents aren't big drinkers but my granddad will be trying to force-feed me red wine. I may lie about the number of WeightWatchers points in booze, make that my excuse.

Whirledps, I don't dream about alcohol or drugs, but neither have ever reached problem proportions in my life - I'm in the club to stop the booze getting that way and stop it messing with the meds. However, I self-harmed for years and finally gave up last Easter, and I still have dreams about cutting myself - and wake up feeling really guilty about it and have to check my arms to make sure it wasn't real, so I kind of get what you mean.

Bex,

I hope you have a nice, stress-free Christmas at your parents and eat healthy, enjoying the meals and avoiding the wine. That's a good idea about the weight watchers points in wine. By all means exaggerate! :-)

I'm kinda snowed in too.

I wish I still had my parents. My dad passed away years ago and my mom is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's about 100 miles from here and I can't drive thanks to my drinking. I wish my parents could have known that I'm finally trying to clean up my act. I feel very ashamed about the way I treated them at times. I'm sure that's a part of my issues. I will spend Christmas alone. I do have a friend coming to visit the week after Christmas to keep me company. Maybe I will get on chat here and strike up some conversations!!

I have never had the self-harm issue unless you count drinking and drugging myself to death. I do understand it somewhat both from my own readings and I also worked at a MI facility for almost 3 years and we had some residents that were dealing with that. I suppose any physical act that is a component of our MI will surface in dreams as we try to move away from it in our waking hours. Our grasping to hold on to something that was comforting to us in whatever way.

Speaking of dreams I had a Doosie last night. Me and friends were all in some strange town. We went to this party. They all got some coke and I turned it down and got a hooker instead. Later one of my friends wanted me to pay $350 for his coke. I told him I couldn't. So he got beat up by the people he got the coke from. LOL. If there are any dream interpreters out there, I would be interested in knowing what that one means :-)

If anyone wants to chat over Christmas for support or just out of loneliness, I will probably be on-line and would welcome the company. Take care all and have a very safe, sober and stress-free holiday.

~wp

[inspaces]

Christmas part one in the books.... I hosted a dinner party that went great - only a few times did i mourn Drunken Christmas Past

Part two is tomorrow - given how well today went, I have hopes for a good tomorrow. The hardest part about tomorrow is that the sister that abused me as little girl will be there. 12 years ago when the major depression over THAT issue was dealt with... for like 3-4 years we had to do separate parties - nowadays, i can tolerate being in the same house, but I've always done it with a drink in my hand.

whirl... i am sorry you spend Christmas alone.... I'm sure your dad is smiling down on you ... wish i had good words about your mom, it must be very difficult.

Bex... i told my parents last night i quit drinking - thou i went with the "i work out too much and between that and meds, the hangovers aren't worth it" rather than the truth of my obsession about getting drunk. I used to SI as well - gave that up lat spring too! yay for us

Best of luck everyone .... drop a high 5 for getting thru drink free!!

[celestia]

Spaces,

I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Good luck with the family.

[inspaces]

made it thru!! no drinks

even was able to fall asleep last night w/o ambien - (just took my usual seroq/klonopin)

and now I'm going for a 7am swim... a first as I'm always otherwise completely hungover day after Christmas!

How did peeps do over this last week?

If you caved, start over - and it's fine to share;

if you made it, boast it here

one day at a time right?

[Rabbit37]

I made it through fine. Hey, I'm still in one piece, and that's something. I went to a Christmas Eve party, and there were drinks and champagne flowing. I managed to stick it out, the cravings were there, but I made it.

inspaces, I'm so glad you're feeling great today. Yay for us!

[inspaces]

indeed... YAY for us!!! Great Job Rabbitt!!

yeah every so often i'd be like ,, "humph! I want a drink too" ... but i just gave it a minute, reminded my self of my hangovers and my 7am swim the following morning and the craving passed

[whirledps]

Congratulations Folks! It's all downhill from here And I mean that in a good way!

~wp

[celestia]

I got through it. Not unscathed but not fucked up. For me yesterday was the big day. I don't have issues about New Years. So...thank god that's over!!

[inspaces]

YAY! I have traditionally thrown a New Year's Eve party - always figured it was better to drink at home... So I'm not having a party this year - saving money AND anxiety.. quiet night at home and my girls can invite some overnight friends instead

[olga]

inspaces, I'm not a member of this club, but I wanted to pop in and congratulate you on your sober Christmas. If you're going to be sober for New Year's Eve, rent a favorite movie or buy a special food. Do something that's a treat because you deserve it!

I'm very happy for you.

olga

[inspaces]

Great idea Olga! Thanks

So ok... I was talking with a good friend of mine here IRL, who btw has been a huge help in getting me to see my drinking problem and today I told him how I made it thru the holidays w/o drinking.

He replied, Good! Now stop thinking about it and just start living. At first,I was like, yeah right... that will take time, but duly noted.

So later one while shoveling the driveway (for like the 4th time), i got to thinking about how i don't ever sit and think about smoking, or drugs, or elicit behavior - things that I am not addicted to.

I wanted to pass this along because I was thinking about how it would feel to go like a full 24 hours w/o thoughts, desires, consideration to drinking. REaching a point where the auto response to everything isn't, " i need a drink".

Just wanted to toss that out there

Have a great Sunday!!

[celestia]

My feeling is it takes at least a year. You have to grieve the loss of your friend (booze.) Next Christmas you'll tell yourself, "well I stayed sober last Christmas, I can do it this Christmas." This is the longest I have been clean since my spectacular relapse of 6 years after my husband died and it's gotten much easier in the last 6 mos. The more your thinking capacity is restored the less you want to fry any more brain cells. imo.

Edited December 27, 2009 by S9

[blackbird]

Count me in on the no drinks club. Been alcoholic since year zero. I had five bottles of wine cooler over chistmas and christmas eve but considering the fact that last year I went on a mammoth drinking spree, puked my dinner into the kitchen sink and had to be carried to bed I count that as a vast improvement. It was my alcoholic sister who showed herself up this year.

Big genetic component in my family.

New Years Resolution - stay well away from booze. Stopping topamax may make it hard (it just kills all my cravings) but I may switch to campral again.

Joined the no drinks club as of 26/12/09 and hope to be here for a long long long LONG time.

good luck and much love to everyone struggling with this.

this will be my first sober New Years Eve in 15 years....

blackbird x

Edited December 27, 2009 by blackbird

[Anna]

Yes, it takes about a year for not drinking to start feeling more "natural" (and, for some folks, it is more).... Watch out for the drinking dreams, inspaces, those should be coming (heh). Sadly for me, I never had happy drinking dreams, they always included some component of "I know I should not be doing this...."

Congrats to everyone who made it through Christmas sober! It's a tough holiday, for sure.

Anna

[inspaces]

Blackbird - WELCOME!!! yes, your Christmas this year is a vast improvement don't feel bad, last christmas, i got into such a drunken depressive state, my parents had to come over and setup the Santa presents and it didn't stop me from drinking on Christmas day either. I'm 41 and this New years will be my first sober one since I was 21. I suppose i abstained while pregnant but I'd be willing to bet I at least had champaign.

S9 I'm really looking forward to next Christmas to be able to make that statement. BTW, i have often considered, even assumed that the day hubby dies on me, that I'll be getting drunk beyond comprehension. I'm sure you could shed some wisdom on that idea as you have on so many others.

We can do it!!

Anna, I have already had many drinking dreams. This round of quitting is my 3 attempt of 2009. But like blackbird mentioned, my 2009 year of drinking was less than my 2007 and 2008 combined.

one day at a time right?

[Bex]

Well done to everyone who's managed a sober Christmas - high fives all round !

Bloody alcoholic family. Have had a relatively sober Christmas, which has been getting on everyone's nerves. My mother's just come up to me, as I sit here drinking Diet Coke and writing essays, and poured a load of rum into my glass without asking

I know it's not comfortable for her, and I know it must be awkward when someone decides that the habits you used to have in common, aren't healthy. But jeez, is it really necessary to give me booze in the afternoon when you know I won't want it?

*feeds drink to nearest pot plant*

[Rabbit37]

I'm attending a family-oriented, no-alcohol-allowed event here in my small city, complete with fireworks at the end. So, no parties, much yayness. I might... *might*... get a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne for after the midnight fireworks, just to keep up tradition. But then part of me thinks that it might not be a good idea. I don't know yet. At any rate, no hangovers on New Year's Day again this year, a thought that keeps me going.

Good luck, everyone, and I hope to hear many good reports on Friday!

[inspaces]

Cheers to a sober New Years Eve and so on

Bex...bad move by your mom... good for you to dump it in the adjacent plant!! Some people just don't get it - too bad for them. I watched my dad pour one manhattan after another both christmas eve and christmas day - I don't know how he was still able to stand!

Rabbit... I was considering a cranberry/clear soda combo, but I dunno... it's awlfully close to the cranberry/vodka combo.. probably will have ice water or tea... no parties here either, looking forward to a quiet evening actually

take care all!!

[inspaces]

So today, I walking around, doing some shopping in this super cute town that just so happens to have at least 3-5 trendy hip bars, saloons, martini stops and cool restaurants on each and every block. It was as if each one of them had a sign hanging below the marquee with a "welcome inspaces" sign... 'COME ON IN "

Of course i did NOT go into any of them, and I didn't feel too much of the pull - but it sure was a reminder of what I so loved to do - in excess - I had been in many of the places I passed by this afternoon - many a drunken evenings.

It was like they were beckoning me

A good reminder that I am not out of the woods yet and reinforces my current plan of avoiding places of such temptation.

oh and I was bargain girl today, had gift cards, a return and shopped the sale racks - i did not make up for not drinking by shopping too much (sort of another problem I have )

take care

[blackbird]

Congrats for not overspending inspaces! thats another problem I have too.

Part of me wants to drink tonight just because its the 'done thing' but then the stronger part of me says no. Too much messing around with medication and all those calories!

I went to see a very good psychic and she said to me (this was when I had 6 months of sobriety behind me). I have your grandfather William here (He was a violent alcoholic who died after persistent drinking ontop of antabuse) and he walks with you every day. He is so proud that you don't drink any more he wants you to go around wearing a pin to announce the fact to the world. My grandfather was the nicest man sober but alcohol turned him into a demon. He died when my mother was 4 months pregnant with me.

I get a very strong sense that my grandfather is with me and I want to make him proud by not succumbing to the family curse of alcoholism. I have three sisters who are all big drinkers. One is an out and out alcoholic.

The doctor is reducing my topamax (because he believes its contributing to my anorexia)and to be safe from alcohol cravings I am going to ask for campral.

good luck for everyone abstaining tonight!

blackbird x

[inspaces]

New years is proving to be considerably harder to cope than i thought. It started with the million bars I walked past yesterday, continued with an intense therapy session today, the very evident way that I run from my emotions surrounding hubby. By run i do mean that literally - like today, at the healthclub i ran 5 miles on the track followed by 1/2 mile swim plus weights. Came home really feeling genuine love feelings for hubby, but that leads to the saddness around his illness and his deficits which is making me very thirsty

my dad is over, i swear if he starts in on manhattans, im gonna freak out

blackbird, that is so cool about feeling your grandpa cheering you on from above - that is how i feel about my grandma - only with her its her cheering me on my triathlons - she was a nationally recognized champion swimmer. How i would love for her to see me now - she'd be at every race's finish line in her wheelchair proud as can be. sigh.. just thinking bout her helps, think i'll go make tea

hope everyone is having a good, safe, evening

[celestia]