NailFlower Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Right now I am on 2 meds. I started with 1, then was on 3, then down to 2. In January I will be back on 3 again (sorry but I am not talking about what I am taking, please respect my boundary), possibly 4. Logically I am fine with this, I know I am better. I function better, I sleep better, I'm happier, I'm less scared, I'm much less delusional, etc. but emotionally, the thought of being on 4 meds scare me. It makes me feel...dependent? super crazy? unable to cope with life without a crutch? I don't know. all illogical because most of my issues are not about being able to cope with life, they stem from a chemical imbalance in my brain. So for me to feel like meds are crutch is just silly. It's like a diabetic feeling silly for taking insulin. right? The pdoc gave me the names of the 2 meds I am to start in January. I will of course get started on the lowest dose of one. ride with that for a while and then start the other. I know I am actually starting 2, but she is helping me ease into it by agreeing that the 4th one is still just a maybe, and I can start it later in the month than the 3rd one. I have been researching them both and getting myself all worked up on the side effects...why? The side effects I experienced with the 2 I am on now have subsided, and in retrospect they weren't overwhelming, just mildly uncomfortable. I am still so sick that I have extreme difficulty dealing with being even a little uncomfortable...I'm working on that and that is another post in and of itself. well, anyway. I'm nervous about having a big cocktail. Thinking about this made me want to put it out there.I guess I want...reassurance? that it will be ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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