NailFlower Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Right now I am on 2 meds. I started with 1, then was on 3, then down to 2. In January I will be back on 3 again (sorry but I am not talking about what I am taking, please respect my boundary), possibly 4. Logically I am fine with this, I know I am better. I function better, I sleep better, I'm happier, I'm less scared, I'm much less delusional, etc. but emotionally, the thought of being on 4 meds scare me. It makes me feel...dependent? super crazy? unable to cope with life without a crutch? I don't know. all illogical because most of my issues are not about being able to cope with life, they stem from a chemical imbalance in my brain. So for me to feel like meds are crutch is just silly. It's like a diabetic feeling silly for taking insulin. right? The pdoc gave me the names of the 2 meds I am to start in January. I will of course get started on the lowest dose of one. ride with that for a while and then start the other. I know I am actually starting 2, but she is helping me ease into it by agreeing that the 4th one is still just a maybe, and I can start it later in the month than the 3rd one. I have been researching them both and getting myself all worked up on the side effects...why? The side effects I experienced with the 2 I am on now have subsided, and in retrospect they weren't overwhelming, just mildly uncomfortable. I am still so sick that I have extreme difficulty dealing with being even a little uncomfortable...I'm working on that and that is another post in and of itself. well, anyway. I'm nervous about having a big cocktail. Thinking about this made me want to put it out there.I guess I want...reassurance? that it will be ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaSue Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 If your pdoc's prescribing it all, I'm sure it will be ok. Without knowing anything about what you're taking, however, it's difficult to tell you anything more than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NailFlower Posted December 20, 2009 Author Share Posted December 20, 2009 SashaSue thanks for responding. I see you are on 3 meds. maybe you could tell me how being on 3 meds is working for you? How did you feel about having to be on 3 meds...were you scared? How long until you felt smoothed out; felt better? I really am not asking to compare meds or anything like that, just how people felt/feel about being on a lot of meds...you know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sorrel Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Many people take far more than 3 or 4 meds, so I wouldn't call that number "a lot" by any kind of objective measure. Whether they are all necessary for your case is another matter, but it sounds like they probably are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NailFlower Posted December 20, 2009 Author Share Posted December 20, 2009 sorrel Your response is big part of why I asked about this, to get some objectivity about this. My subjective feeling is that 4 meds is a lot...I'm highly sensitive to any kind of medicine so before I stated taking MI meds I rarely even took aspirin,so to jump from that to having to take 4 pills daily is huge for me. I see one of the meds you take is for tremors...is that a side effect you are experiencing from the other med? That is part of my worry, like I worry I'll have to take yet another med or meds to deal with the side effects from the 2 new meds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryp Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I was on three for a while - now I'm down to two. It bugged me at first - I felt like a real crazy, and like I must be overmedicated if I was on that much stuff. But then I sort of decided that I'm just going to do what I have to do to get sane and then worry about other stuff afterwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sorrel Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Yes, I have tremors from lithium and I take the other med for it. This was a choice. I could have said, "The tremors don't bother me; I'll live with it." Which I did say for a while, but it started interfering with work. Or I could have said, "I want to stop the lithium because I don't like the tremors." But the lithium has helped me. So I decided to go with the other med. It's not like it was escalating all out of my control, more and more meds for more and more side effects. Before taking MI meds I also did not like meds of any kind. But hey, if you need it you need it. 4 meds isn't huge. That could easily be covered by a mood stabilizer, an antipsychotic, an antidepressant, and something for sleep. Add a benzo and you have 5. Add a second mood stabilizer (not uncommon) and you have 6. I have seen people on cocktails like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beetle Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I'm on four pych meds, one preventative asthma med, one prn asthma med, and BC. I don't care about the number of pills I take. I do care about insurance coverage of all that stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NailFlower Posted December 20, 2009 Author Share Posted December 20, 2009 tryp that is a good perspective you have. I thought once I got over the hurdle of having to take meds I would be fine, but now I have this hurdle to get over. I will just have to bite the bullet and do it. stop worry about what might happen because what is happening to me needs to stop. it's like I'm more worried about the possible side effects than I am about the effects of my crazy! sorrel I like the way you phrased that...about it being a choice. I suddenly realized this is the root issue for me. I'm making a choice. that is huge for me. Deciding to go to therapy was a big choice and I thought that was all I had to do. Then understanding I needed meds plus therapy was another choice, also huge. Now I need even more meds. Another choice. Another step. I am getting further and further away from the crazy person I was, and with each step walking into the sane person I want to be. but it's scary, making all these choices. being responsible for all these choices. beetle knock on wood we get national insurance in the states soon! husband has great insurance so I'm lucky in that respect...course nowadays that could change at any time, meh. thanks all for responding, I feel much better having read through this. I can do this, and it will be ok. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
void Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 but emotionally, the thought of being on 4 meds scare me. It makes me feel...dependent? super crazy? unable to cope with life without a crutch? I don't know. I get that every now and then, doesn't worry me much anymore. What does scare me though is "What if I'm unable to get my meds for some reason?". I am definitely dependent then. well, anyway. I'm nervous about having a big cocktail. Thinking about this made me want to put it out there.I guess I want...reassurance? that it will be ok. I think that if it's in the care of a doctor, theres nothing much better that you can do than trust them until they mess up, on the whole I've had good doctors though. It is a good idea to keep yourself informed as they do tend to gloss over side effects, but I think it would require a much longer consultation to walk through all the possibilities, in my opinion, thats what the package inserts are for. Just have Google close by when reading them. Keep in mind though I haven't had it badly in terms of side effects or I was asleep 20+ hours a day so I didn't notice them. SashaSue just how people felt/feel about being on a lot of meds...you know? Sometimes I feel vastly relieved that there are meds, and that I get them free from the government, though when it comes to the December period and they give me 2 months supply I'm a bit like WTF!? My GP isn't happy about them giving me 560 pills at a time, but for some people it's nothing, he thinks I should be fetching pills on a weekly basis. That is part of my worry, like I worry I'll have to take yet another med or meds to deal with the side effects from the 2 new meds. I found I really don't mind popping meds anymore, if it fixes more problems than it causes I'm happy, though I'm worried about my cholesterol despite the cholesterol med. It gets really fun when you take your psych meds and have bronchitis along with a pilonidal abscess, I was on 180mg of Mianserin at the time and they gave it to me in 10mg pills instead of the 30mg pills, looked like a helluva lot of stuff to swallow. :| Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NailFlower Posted December 20, 2009 Author Share Posted December 20, 2009 void That was/is a big fear of mine...the 'what if I'm not able to get my meds?' feeling. One of my delusions was that I was a key player in this intergalactic time/space war, and the aliens in the battle kept taunting me about taking my 'magic pills'. I had incorporated my meds into this long-running delusion even when I wasn't experiencing it anymore! Last month I had a non-MI physical issues and had to be briefly hospitalized, and temporarily had to go off my MI meds so they could handle this other issue, and bam! there were the aliens, taunting me about having took my pills. it was teh crazy, let me tell you. So I kind of feel like...I could cope somewhat with the crazy, and I'm learning to cope better without the crazy, but having to go back into the crazy is just...a cruel experience. my pdoc is really great, she's not a glosser-over at all, so I am lucky in that respect. She discussed the side effects with me in detail and also advised me to read up on them before I start, which I did. I do trust her, now I need to learn to trust myself that I'm doing the right thing and moving myself forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notfred Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 As others said, I am more concerned about not being able to get my meds than the number. The real question is 1) do they work and 2) can you tolerate them. The only way to tell if there are side effects is by trying meds. As you have found out side effects that you have when first starting a med often fade with some time. So the number of meds you can take is the number that gets you stable. No more, no less. I am on 7 meds if you count the PRN's but keep in mind 6 conditions are being treated. nf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catnapper Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 I take three for being crazy, one for menopause, and two for blood pressure, not to mention a lot of vitamins and fish oil. I used to feel funny about it, but over time I've become used to it, especially as they have worked for me. The thought of no meds is much scarier to me at this point. Resigned to my fate is probably the best description of my current attitude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaSue Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 SashaSue thanks for responding. I see you are on 3 meds. maybe you could tell me how being on 3 meds is working for you? How did you feel about having to be on 3 meds...were you scared? How long until you felt smoothed out; felt better? I really am not asking to compare meds or anything like that, just how people felt/feel about being on a lot of meds...you know? I've never really had the kind of concerns some people do about being on meds at all, or being on multiple meds. I didn't receive a correct dx until I was in my early 30's, so discovering meds that actually helped at all was kind of a revelation. I arrived at my current cocktail via a lot of trial and error, and adding and subtracting. When I started the lithium, I was also on lamictal, which wasn't really working all that well. Once my lithium dosage was up to 900, I tapered the lamictal. Then I wasn't able to tolerate that dosage of lithium, so it dropped to 600mg. That turned out not to be quite enough to keep me stable, so we added the AAP. And I tried a couple of those before landing on Abilify, which seems to be working out. Next, starting probably in the next week or two, while school's out, I'll be tapering Effexor, hopefully getting off of it without too much in the way of withdrawals. And I'm actually on a 4th med, which I think I forgot to put in my sig. Seroquel for sleep, not that it's working lately. How many and which meds a person should be on just depends so much on his or her specific symptoms, and how the meds work together, I think it's hard to look for much commonality of experience. I'd basically take 100 pills a day, if that's what I needed to do for symptom relief and stability. Other people worry more about the meds themselves, or something, which has never made much sense to me, to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonsum Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 i'm on 4, 5 if you count the BC pill. and i've been on more at various points in time. yeah, being on so many medications kinda makes me feel really crazy. but so long as they do what they need to do and they don't cause too many side effects i'm ok with it. at one point i was on 5 psych meds and another 5 or so allergy/asthma meds and A BC pill. i felt very sickly and very crazy. but i needed them and they worked. i went off my meds when i couldnt pay for them anymore. funding a large med cocktail takes some doing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NailFlower Posted December 20, 2009 Author Share Posted December 20, 2009 Everyone thanks so much for all the responses. Overall everyone is telling me they do take and would take as many meds as they need to get stable. I feel much better...and that I am not so bad off here. 4 meds really did seem like an outrageous number to me. I will do it though, I need to get stable so I can make further progress and improve my life. it is staggering all the things I have to do to work around the crazy, especially to battle through the paranoia and delusional thinking and all that. It will be a relief to not have to go through that so much anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancesintherain Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Everyone thanks so much for all the responses. Overall everyone is telling me they do take and would take as many meds as they need to get stable. I feel much better...and that I am not so bad off here. 4 meds really did seem like an outrageous number to me. I will do it though, I need to get stable so I can make further progress and improve my life. it is staggering all the things I have to do to work around the crazy, especially to battle through the paranoia and delusional thinking and all that. It will be a relief to not have to go through that so much anymore. It sounds like you may have gotten the help that you needed...but in case you want more replies, one thing that helped me a lot was to realize that, sadly, the drug people really haven't found the "magic drug" that handles nearly all symptoms at once. It's hard to find a mood stabilizer that's particularly good for depression, eliminates psychosis, handles anxiety, etc. There are drugs that are good at combinations of symptoms--but usually not drugs that handle every symptom. Which to some degree is kind of good--because the illness manifests in different ways for different people. Some need a stronger antipsychotic but not as much anti-depressant effect. Some people don't have psychosis, but have really high anxiety, etc. I'm on a combo of lamictal (moderate mood-stabilizer w/ anti-depressant effects), effexorXR (anti-depressant), ativan (anti-anxiety), and sonata (sleep). I'll probably cut out the anti-anxiety and sleep stuff eventually or put it in on more of a PRN, but they're needed right now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mayteana Posted December 21, 2009 Share Posted December 21, 2009 At any given time, I've got at least four meds in my list. The question of "how many meds" is secondary to the question of "are they working". The important part is you getting some relief. Good luck! ~ May Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
survivor Posted December 22, 2009 Share Posted December 22, 2009 Ask yourself, "Am I calm , functioning, and happy (a lot of the time)? Do I have BALANCE?" If you can say yes, then no worries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gizmo Posted December 23, 2009 Share Posted December 23, 2009 I agree with May. I've been on anywhere from three to six psychiatric meds. And it all depends on what you need - at that point in your life. And if you are doing well, it doesn't matter how many pill bottles are in your cabinet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
netsavy006 Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I'm currently stable on my medications and I take 7 medications. It may seem like a lot but I don't think it's the number of meds that matter. It's as long as the meds are working don't mess with them. It's taken me 2 years to get to this point so please listen to someone who's gone through it. It's not the number, it's if the combo works well for you without significant side effects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NailFlower Posted December 24, 2009 Author Share Posted December 24, 2009 thanks so much for all the responses. Overall everyone is telling me they do take and would take as many meds as they need to get stable. I feel much better...and that I am not so bad off here. 4 meds really did seem like an outrageous number to me. I will do it though, I need to get stable so I can make further progress and improve my life. it is staggering all the things I have to do to work around the crazy, especially to battle through the paranoia and delusional thinking and all that. It will be a relief to not have to go through that so much anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bueler Posted December 24, 2009 Share Posted December 24, 2009 I talked to my tdoc about the very same thing. And, she said, if they were "nutrients" or "vitamins" it wouldn't have quite the same stigma. I mean, how many different things are in a Centrum Multivitamin? In that regard, it's not much different if you just need a few different "nutrients", because everyone's body chemistry is different. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TreeHugger Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 I don't worry about how many, I just worry about if they work. Things are a little iffy with mine right now, so we're tinkering. The simple fact is: I'm easier for others to be around when I'm medicated....I'm a better person when I'm medicated...and I don't fell like crap, or stay up for 3 days at a time any more. I've had a few friends mention the amount of pills that I take and I usually ask them "Well, which me do you prefer??". It shuts them up pretty quickly. I really don't care what other people think, and I'm very up front about the fact that I'm seeing a pdoc, and I take meds. I think the stigma and associated silence are BS. If people want to deal with me, they have to deal with all of me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papertrees Posted January 18, 2010 Share Posted January 18, 2010 I'm with the others here. I currently take 6 meds, plus birth control pills. It used to bother me, but now that I feel so damn stable, I'm reluctant to give some of them up. You'd have to pry lithium from my cold, dead hands. =) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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