Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

And we're gonna do it our way, yes OUR way


Recommended Posts

So saw p-doc today, described all my fun anxiety shit and that maybe the meds aren't working so well. I'm still on the Cymbalta, but he wanted to up the klonopin to 1mg three times a day and, yeah, I didn't, but I said nothing. I mean, yeah, I'd like to alleviate this suffering and shit, but rightly so, I'm concerned about the future of my use of a benzodiazepine to treat this, especially on a higher dose several times a day, and by my future, I mean dependence, when it shits out on me, when I had to come off it, withdrawals, etc. I wouldn't and don't abuse them at all and always take them as directed.

Or I always HAVE taken them as directed, until now.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm getting a pill splitter and taking approximately .75mg JUST AT NIGHT to help me sleep OR if I think I might really need it to get through a situation. I have a lot of .5mg pills around, so hopefully I can make it awhile before I have to split the 1mg pills into fourths, ugh. But yeah, I don't want to take as much klonopin as he thinks I need. The problem is, I think I might need it too, but I just don't want to go there just yet, I mean, why always DOUBLE the dose? Why can't I just add another .25mg and go from there? So that's what I'm going to do. I tried it today and it really worked well, I felt pretty good, I don't think I NEED the whole fucking milligram.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm going to adjust my dose as I see fit absolutely NEVER exceeding 3mg a day and probably rarely hitting that mark or coming too close. Has anyone else done this? Is this bad? I didn't want to take up anymore of p-docs time because I was a little late and knew I was cutting into his lunch break. I don't know. I'm fairly certain he'd be okay with it if he knew that's what I was doing.

Is it bad to not follow directions for the reasons I stated? Because I know that sometimes, .5mg is enough for the anxiety, and other times it's FAR from enough for the anxiety. I think if I'm only feeling a little anxious, I should just take .5mg. If I feel like total shit, I'll take .75mg. Why not? Is there something I'm missing? Is there some kind of withdrawal issue here I may not be considering? I'm still taking it 3x a day, just not as much as p-doc wants.

Just wanted some input. Sorry if this was ridiculous, as it probably is.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is there any reason you didn't bring up the plan w/ your pdoc? Or did it not come to you until later?

I wouldn't normally mess around with benzos, but you're going on the safe end, I guess (taking less than prescribed...not more). That's actually the way my pdoc prescribes it (1 mg at night, but up to 3 mg total at any point during the day if needed).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

To (I think, sorta) quote Fezzik, "What is our way?"

Or - caveat Emperor?

Anyway, your way sounds OK to me.

It's sort of unfortunate that Rxs' get so rigid, but my gut says that insurance companies may not like

an Rx that says "Take a few of these a few times a day." ;)

I suspect, though, that - up to your "limit" - you need to err on the "happy" side.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A few random thoughts:

Klonopin really doesn't need to be dosed 3 times a day. It's got a pretty long half-life.

If he's prescribing you it as a prophylactic med, you should take it regularly, not PRN. Klonopin isn't a great PRN anyway-- it takes too long to kick in and it lasts too long to be useful as an emergency med, IMO.

If you don't like the way your doctor prescribes your meds, you need to talk to him about it. I mean, sure, your plan might work better for you, but he's going on the assumption that you're taking the drugs as written. If you're not, you need to tell him, and why. Why have a doctor if you're just going to do it your way anyway? If you don't like the way your doc is handling your care-- too many benzos, not the right drugs, not listening to you-- find another doctor. But you have to be honest about what you're taking, how much you're taking, and when. If you don't like what the doctor is telling you to do, talk to him about it. Don't just leave the office with a script and then do whatever you want.

My doctor lets me monkey around my meds a little here and there, but I've been on the same meds for many years and have had the same doctor for that long. But still, he knows the parameters of my monkeying, and I talk to him about it.

I know I should have said something to him, and he said to try this and call in a few weeks, and basically said that if 1mg made me feel too sedated that I could go back to .5mg, but I know there's an in-between. I actually like him a lot and think he does a good job, I just was late getting in there today and knew I was running into his luch break and didn't want to get into this whole thing right then. I know he's in the office on Tuesday, so I actually DO plan on telling him what I am doing. So he made it seem like there was a little wiggle room in there, not a very strict "take 1mg three times a day" I did manage to ask if I could just take 1mg at bed time and .5 the rest of the day and he said that was fine, so I kind of felt like I could mess around with it, maybe not. He sounded like he'd rather me just take it 1mg 3x per day, but whatever.

He's RX'd it for me 3x a day for a few months. I've been on .5mg dosage for about a year now, and maybe that's why it's less effective now, but I find that it starts wearing off around five hours after I've taken it, it wasn't my suggestion to up it to 3x a day at all. I want to stay on as little as possible and that's the point of this whole thing.

I figured if I just wait until the first dose I take wears off and find my level of anxiety is higher than what I would believe .5mg would cover, then I'd just take .75mg. That's all. I'm not using it PRN at all, I'm sure he would have given me a shorter acting benzo if he wanted me to take a PRN benzo.

But I don't think he doesn't listen to me or anything like that, I'm just too shy to inconvenience him I guess? I don't know.

I know you are right about it, I'm not trying to be some idiot just doing whatever the hell I want with all of my drugs, I just stay at home with a toddler all day and don't know if I'll be too sedated at 1mg 3x per day to be as focused as I need to be for her, that's all. I know it doesn't justify me assuming I know how to treat my panic and anxiety, because I don't KNOW how to treat it, that's why I have him, but I'd like to see if maybe .75 would work all right instead of going all the way up to 1 whole milligram I guess.

But yeah, I'll admit that I really have planned on taking this however I want, just because I want to take the SMALLEST amount possible to control the anxiety, I don't want to take more than is needed for that day, for that five hours, etc.

Yeah, I'm a dumbass about it, but it seemed like the right thing to do.

But you are right and I will call him, he's my doctor and he does need to know and approve of what I am doing.

Sometimes I need my ass handed to me, it's cool. I wasn't thinking about some of that shit. Thanks. I'm really not a huge idiot, or maybe I am, I don't know.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

in my books; what you are doing is well within the realm of common sense. these strong assed p-meds (of every description) need to be conservatively utilized. least often equates to best. not always but often it is the case in my humble opinion. benzos have an inglorious reputation in so far as tolerance and what not. the emperor would seem to be taking care of business big time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you, r.c. I'm trying, I just guess I should let the guy know, that makes sense and everything, and probably should have expressed my desire to use less while I was in his office, but still. Yeah, like I said before, I'm just trying to be on the smallest amount possible to keep me comfortable, that's all. Like this morning I only took .5, tonight I have to go out with friends, so I'll probably take .75mg because I know that will freak me the hell out, and that's just how I kinda plan on doing it, as long as p-doc says it's okay really. I'll probably do it in the meantime as well, just incase I take the 1mg and find that, after that, less DOESN'T seem to work as well. I don't know, I'm crazy I guess.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Given the extent of your anxiety, it seems pretty foolish to me to be worrying about possible problems in the distant future, rather than addressing the anxiety itself, which is the problem in the here and now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel that .75mg addresses the anxiety well enough for me. And yeah, I worry about everything, so of course I'm going to worry about what the fuck is going to happen to me a year from now when 2mg 3x a day doesn't do anything anymore and I'm facing an uncomfortable withdrawal period. Granted, I'm just prolonging the time frame in which I will NOT have to worry about the withdrawal, but I do everyday. If there was some other pill I could take to address my symptoms, believe me, I'd take that over going down this road, but it's really not a choice at this point in time.

I just want to use as little as possible to help the anxiety. If .75mg works well enough, why use a whole milligram? It helps more than .5mg did and I'm fairly comfortable. I feel like I am addressing the problem at hand without completely masking it with the klonopin, I want to actively work on this in therapy as well and not have to rely on meds so much in the future. I don't know.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Neurontin really helps me with anxiety. No dependency or addiction issues to worry about, either.

I think you are smart to be cautious. I know that's probably an unpopular sentiment (dianthus told me I fearmongered benzos when I objected to their use as a recreational alcohol substitute).

Lots of people do okay with long term benzo use. Maybe you are one of them.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks guys, I really just am trying to be more cautious and not completely dependant on the drug for relief of my anxiety. I do and don't want it to take it all away, you know what I mean? I want to still be able to feel a little bit of it so I can work through that on my own, but I want to be slightly comfortable as well.

recoverymouse- I was on gabapentin for a few weeks, I remember having terrible panic attacks on it in the beginning because it made me feel odd, very much like I was stoned, and whenever I used to get stoned, I would panic, but after a couple of weeks, I couldn't tell I had taken it and I don't remember what the effect was on my anxiety, but I don't think it made it worse at all. I would really like to give that drug another try as well.

I am really wanting to try the Seroquel, I hear it's great for anxiety, but my insurance won't cover it and I can't afford it, I wish I could give it a try though really, it's something I think about often.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've done what you are doing now - well, actually, I quit my benzo of choice cold turkey. I was in hell for three weeks. Long enough for me to feel like I was "in control" of the drug and not vice versa. Three weeks of hell just to go from 3 times a day to 3-4 times a week.

But I have issues with xanax. Serious issues. Like I have to have mine locked up or else when I get crazy I OD on them. You don't have that problem, so don't worry about taking a little, tiny 1 mg bit of klonopin. I know you are very safe with your medication. So your tolerance isn't an issue, because you are SAFE with your meds. In other words, you aren't me.

Please follow through with your suggestion to talk to your doctor about your worries and come up with a solution.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My limit with klonopin is 6-8mg, though I've been on them since 2003, right now I'm at 3mg, I was at 4mg, tapered down to 2.25mg, then reinstated to 3mg, Benzos are good meds for Anxiety, tolerance can differ, I worry about it too, but I do know that when I was thrown in the Hospital, they had me on 2mg Ativan, 2mg klonopin, and sometimes a shot of Valium, my guess 5-10mg. I have depression with Klonopin, I'm searching for a AntiDepressant that helps with K Depression, of course Benzos are CNS downers and Depression usually starts sometimes during taking them for years. I did good on the Remeron and Lithium mix, I'm thinking about going back to it, I gained weight but oh well, I can't live with panic attacks, I've had some that brought me to my knees and the d/p and d/r, oh noooo,,,,, I can't go back to that. I've seen people take allot of Benzo, triple what you're on. .75 is good. I wish I could still hold at that.

Billy

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...